You may have heard of the honeymoon period in a relationship, but did you know that there are four other stages and it can take years to get over them?
There are five stages of grief and five in a relationship, according to a popular relationship expert.
Kevin Pasco, 31, from Vancouver, Canada, recently shared the details of these phases, warning: “Most people don’t even get to stage three… let alone stage five.”
In a viral now tiktok videoHe describes each era, beginning with the honeymoon phase, which he says can last anywhere from six months to a year.
Kevin Pasco, 31, from Vancouver, Canada, recently shared the details of his “five-stage” theory of romance.
The relationship coach warned, “Most people don’t even get to stage three…let alone stage five.”
Kevin described the honeymoon phase as “rushed feelings of love, rose-colored glasses, bonding through similarities” between the new couple.
But next was the power struggle phase, which is when you start to realize the differences between you and your partner.
“You start to realize that all those similarities don’t seem so big anymore, because I see all the differences,” Kevin said.
The relationship coach said that this stage usually ends in two different ways.
“First, they remain in the power struggle phase, that is, the elderly couple who still argue and fight,” he listed.
“Or people end up separating,” he said. “They say, ‘No, this is too much. “I can’t love you for your differences, I can’t do this with you anymore.”
Kevin said that in this situation, they end up going back to the honeymoon phase, except with someone else.
“They repeat this very toxic cycle of honeymoon, power struggle and breakup,” he explained.
The video was flooded with praise for Kevin’s theory as one wrote: ‘I love your advice. It unites the couple instead of pitting each other against each other.
The content creator said that the way out of this is to move to phase three, which is adaptation and acceptance.
“Love them for their differences, accept them fully and see the beauty in them,” Kevin explained.
He added that the key is being able to adapt.
“You’re creating a new energy by using the tastes and differences between the two of you to create something completely new,” he further explained.
According to Kevin, most people don’t even make it to stage three.
“It is very difficult to do it, but all human beings are on this path; eventually they will get there,” he said.
The fourth phase is commitment, which occurs after you have accepted the person as they are and committed together to build a life.
Finally, the fifth phase is unity, when you are totally in tune with your partner.
“It takes decades to get to stage five,” he shared, citing psychologists and therapists among the professionals he has spoken to.
Kevin stressed that you had to go through all the stages ‘in order’ to reach the final, which is the goal.
The relationship expert said it may take decades, if ever, to reach stage five of the theory. He is photos here with his girlfriend.
“You have to have years and years of experience and know the person to get to that point,” he continued. “So chances are, if you’re wondering if you’re at stage five and you’ve only been together for a minute, you’re probably not there yet.”
Kevin also revealed the key to moving from stage two to three, which is based on fully accepting your partner.
“You must fully accept the person as they are and accept that they will never change in the future,” he shared. “You need to have years and years.”
The video was flooded with praise for Kevin’s theory as one wrote: ‘I love your advice. It unites the couple rather against each other.’
Another added: ‘This is really eye opening. Nothing but facts. You are right in saying that you did not pass phase three.
And a third simply said: “This makes so much sense.”