Should you stay with an imposter? People reveal what they really think of friends who forgive their partner’s affair – as the main signs of a stray husband are revealed
- Relationship and dating coach Louanne Ward asked followers about cheating
- The question was whether taking someone back after cheating was ‘weak’
- Many people said it was unwise to stay and there would always be a “doubt.”
- Others said it was up to the individual and that they would not judge
An Australian dating coach asked the audience if they would rate friends and family who forgive their partner after cheating – and the results are divided.
Relationship expert Louanne Ward asked the controversial question on her Facebook page She said, he said, asking if it was considered “weak” or “foolish” to stay when a confidence level was broken.
“If you decide to stay with someone who cheated on you, do you think other people judge you?” She wrote.
Some of the early responses suggested that judgment would come second nature because people ‘outside’ the relationship cannot imagine forgiving that person.
Relationship expert Louanne Ward asked the controversial question on her Facebook page asking if it was considered ‘weak’ or ‘foolish’ to stay if trust was broken
Some of the early responses suggested that judgment would come second nature because people ‘outside’ the relationship cannot imagine forgiveness for that person (image)
“I know people who both left and stayed, but there are many different reasons people stay. Some stay for their children, some for fear of being alone and some even for the money, “said one woman.
So many people have opinions and judgments about the different reasons, but what most people don’t realize is that people make the decision because of where they are in life. It’s not right or wrong, it just means they have to go through things. ‘
Another said that she was in this precarious situation and that many of her loved ones pressured her to leave because she “deserved better.”
Another said that she was in this precarious situation and that many of her loved ones pressured her to leave because she “earned better” (photo by Louanne)
‘I felt people judged me for looking weak and silly when I look back, but the moment I was so emotionally shattered I didn’t think too much about what they thought and surprised no one more than myself when I chose to stay ‘, she said.
Others were simpler in their answer: “To answer your question yes, you would be both weak and foolish to stay with a cheater in your eyes and everyone else’s.”
One man said that “most” people would probably judge because it is a “default” when it comes to hearing people’s setbacks.
A man said that ‘most’ people would probably judge because it’s a ‘default’ when it comes to hearing people’s setbacks (stock image)
A woman replied, “I would never judge anyone else, you never know what else they are dealing with.”
Most agreed that it was not the role of family and friends to judge, but instead supported the person betrayed by an imposter whether they wanted to stay or not.
Previously, Louanne limited the three types of cheaters for FEMAIL.
“There are different types of cheaters and infidelity comes in different ways, shapes and forms. I’ve narrowed down the most common of these to three types of cheaters, and the snitches can vary slightly, ”she said.
“Are they a one-time cheater? Are they a thrill of the hunt, repeat offender? Or maybe they are a casual cheater. ‘
Ms Ward said most people are looking for the “accidental cheater” because “she has convinced herself and everyone who knows them that this is a very difficult situation.”
Main features of an accidental cheater
* Stay back to work more often
* More traveling or going out
* Spend more time with the kids
* Look more animated on the phone
* Increased and suspicious use of social media
* Be manscaped or waxed to perfection
* New clothes or lingerie that you have not yet seen
* Talk about a new person at work or golf before this person’s mentions suddenly stop
Main features of the Once Off Cheater / Serial Cheater
Once Off Cheater:
* They will tell you that they love you much more, but don’t show it
* They will have moments of guilt and buy you unexpected gifts
* They take you to nice places, but the conversation is suppressed
* They put an unusual distance on ‘being stressed at work’
* They daydream a lot
* They are more difficult to detect because they have mastered their craft
* They do their best to tell you that their ex was insecure and they have opposite sex friends
* They become defensive if you ask about their night or who they were with
* They will confess their undying love for you and in the same breath suggest that you get help because you ruin the relationship with your insecurities
* They use rules like “why are you suddenly so insecure?”
The one-time cheater had a brief error of judgment while not with his partner and felt incredibly guilty about it.
These people may buy you unexpected gifts or seem more distant when they spend time with you, even if you spend more time together than usual.
“They often make plans to go somewhere, but when you get there, the conversation is suppressed,” said Louanne.
“You ask what’s going on and they say” nothing, I’ve never been happier “.
But if a cheater gets away with his behavior more than once, they can become a serial cheater.
“When an impostor gets away with deception, the excitement can get exciting. Therefore, “one-time cheaters” often become serial offenders. So it’s very important to look for the telltale signs, ”said Louanne.
“This type of impostor is a repeat offender and will continue to cheat over and over again because they like the tension.
“Getting away with the crime gives them the power they want, because they usually have a narcissistic personality.”