A wedding planner has caused debate after revealing that a bride sent a “missed RSVP” card to her guests.
Nishma Mistry, 39, from the United Kingdom, who runs Asian Bride Sorority, a support group designed to make planning Asian weddings easier for brides, took to TikTok on Sunday to share a “missing RSVP card.”
The card says: ‘You missed your RSVP. We are sorry that you cannot attend our wedding. Our RSVP went through and unfortunately he didn’t respond.
“We would have loved for you to attend, but the final numbers have already been delivered and we will miss your presence, bride and groom.”
The post sparked furious debate, with some people saying it was “tacky”, “rude” and “passive-aggressive”, while others said the boyfriends were simply setting their boundaries, and some called it “genius”.
In a follow-up video, Nishma explained: ‘I posted this over the weekend and it caused a lot of debate.
‘Some people say it’s passive-aggressive, others say it’s just rude. Some people have said it is in bad taste.
‘I totally appreciate all of these opinions. Some people have said that it’s not that hard to just call your guests and see if they’ll actually come, and all of these opinions are totally valid.
‘The tricky thing is, if you’re planning a large wedding or a South Asian wedding where you’re going to have three to five events, over the course of a week, sometime a couple of weeks.
“Normally it’s between 300 and 500 guests.”
Nishma added that RSVPing is a “new concept” within South Asian communities, meaning people simply “forget” to RSVP.
“As harsh as it may seem, there might be easier ways to express it, but if someone understood this, they wouldn’t forget to RSVP next time.”
Nishma Mistry, 39, from the United Kingdom, who runs Asian Bride Sorority, a support group designed to make planning Asian weddings easier for brides, took to TikTok on Sunday to share a “missing RSVP card.”
The card says: ‘You missed your RSVP. We are sorry that you cannot attend our wedding. Our RSVP went through and unfortunately he didn’t respond. It has caused a lot of debate
However, people were still divided and some praised him as “genius”.
‘No. “I personally called all my guests who didn’t RSVP on the last day before I had to count the catering and venue staff,” said one.
‘This needs to be worded differently so it doesn’t sound passive-aggressive. Is the point to say you’ll miss them or that they missed the deadline? added another.
‘That’s great. “I was literally calling people the week before my deadline to get numbers, and several people said ‘yeah, let’s go’ on the phone and then didn’t show up,” a third wrote.
‘Call to check. ESPECIALLY because things get lost in the mail or on social media because they depend on algorithms or just technology in general,” said another.
“It’s not that hard to RSVP either,” one commented.
Some people called the card “tacky” while others called it “great.”
‘No! Between texts, calls, emails, FB and FB messenger, just find out if they come. What happens if the RSVP is lost? said another.
“I think if they changed the wording from ‘unfortunately you didn’t respond’ to ‘unfortunately we didn’t receive a response’ it would be smoother,” one commented.
“People angry at boundaries are the ones who break them,” another commented.
“If I forgot to RSVP and the girlfriend called me to check, I would be mortified,” one person wrote.
“The people complaining obviously haven’t planned an event that requires paying per person,” one person said.
“Dinners are not cheap and I think the person who received the invitation would have the decency to respond knowing how expensive weddings are,” said another.
“I approve of the message, but I would have done it orally and called or emailed people a week before the deadline to warn them one last time.”
