Susannah Constantine spoke frankly about her secret struggle for fear in the Wednesday episode of Wednesday morning.
The fashion guru, 57, admitted that she always prayed that her & # 39; car was hit by a truck & # 39; to take away her anxious thoughts.
Susannah also added that her anxiety struggle made her feel lonely and that for the first time she noticed symptoms as a child at a boarding school.
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Candid: Susannah Constantine spoke frankly about her secret struggle for fear in the Wednesday-Wednesday episode
She said, "I don't think I've ever been paralyzed by fear, but there was certainly a time in my life when I woke up, brought the kids to school, and I would pray that my car be driven into a truck or something, so that I could put an end to it. & # 39;
Thinking about the moment, she added: & # 39; But it was just a thought that flashed through my mind … I say that. That is too dramatic, but it was at that time something to take away the pain and then it would disappear. & # 39;
Talk about how the hair & # 39; lonely & # 39; Susannah admitted she found it even more difficult that she had no & # 39; reason to identify herself & # 39; with her fear.
She said: & # 39; Yes, (I felt lonely), I think I also felt: & # 39; Who am I to feel that way? I am so lucky to have a family, a roof over my head, a man who loves me and three beautiful children. What should I worry about? "
Anxiety: The fashion guru, 57, admitted that she prayed that her & # 39; car was hit by a truck & # 39; to take away her anxious thoughts
& # 39; That almost made it worse, I couldn't find a reason to identify myself! & # 39;
Talking about her fear would begin, the TV star, who is married to Sten Bertelsen, admitted: & I woke up this morning with that snowball in my belly. It is now melting. Usually around 11 a.m. and 12 a.m. it is gone and is going well. & # 39;
Susannah revealed that her fear started as a child at a boarding school and that her mother had a bipolar disorder, previously known as manic depression.
She said: & I would wake up every morning as a child, drenched in sweat, and that was coming from, looking back now and that is just something I did very recently, my mother was manic depressed.
Speaking: She said: & I would pray that my car be hit by a truck or something so that I could put an end to it. & # 39;
& # 39; Lonely & # 39 ;: Susannah also added that her fear struggle made her & # 39; lonely & # 39; and that for the first time she noticed symptoms like a child at a boarding school
& # 39; I think I would wake up every morning, afraid of how she would be today. There was that feeling of uncertainty. Would I be left to her illness that day? So I think it comes from that. & # 39;
& # 39; Then I cost a boarding school and I had a terrible fear. I never, I didn't, I thought it was homesick. I have saved it all my life, it was something very personal and because I could function. & # 39;
About how she now deals with her symptoms, Susannah revealed: & I started doing things for myself. When I drank alcohol, a hangover would make it worse … I stopped drinking five years ago.
& # 39; I eat healthy, I have not sought professional help as such, it must come from within. & # 39;
Symptoms: Talking about her fear would begin, the TV star, who is married to Sten Bertelsen, admitted: & I woke up this morning with that snowball in my belly. & # 39;
She elaborated on her coping mechanisms and continued: & I now see it as a ghostly one, this spirit of fear is visiting and it will happen.
& # 39; Intellectually speaking, I know it will pass. Every morning I wake up and make a list of all the things I should be grateful for – a very long list, I now use it as a motivator. & # 39;
Talking about her first novel, After The Snow, which was published in 2017 and focuses on an 11-year-old girl, Esme, growing up with a mentally ill parent, she said: & I'm looking forward to the next.
& # 39; We are all similar in that way, the people who suffer from anxiety are very performing individuals. I think you can use it to your advantage to push you. & # 39;
Recovery: About how she now deals with her symptoms, Susannah revealed: & # 39; I started doing things for myself (in the photo with her husband Sten Bertelsen in 2006)
Susannah recently appeared in the 2018 series of Strictly Come Dancing, she and her dance partner, Anton du Beke, were the first to be eliminated.
Speaking of her experience in the popular BBC One show, she said: & I don't know why I did that. It was without doubt the most frightening thing I have ever done … I want to give it two fingers (fear).
& # 39; It looks a bit like activity. That is actually not a good thing to do. I have learned to sit by myself, sit by my fear and just listen to it and not try to fight it. And again, I think that helped me a lot. & # 39;
If you have suffered from this article, you can contact the mental health service, Mind, on 0300 123 3393 or sms 86463.
Strictly speaking: Speaking of her experiences in the popular BBC One show, she said: & I don't know why I did that. It was without a doubt the most terrifying thing I have ever done! & # 39;
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