Dear Jana,
My husband and I have become good friends with our neighbors, a couple our age. We meet for drinks on the terrace a couple of times a month and have always seemed to have a strong and loving relationship.
I recently started working from home and my office desk is in front of the house and faces the street. I have noticed that some days the husband comes home at lunchtime and a few minutes after he arrives another attractive woman appears.
They stay inside for about 30 minutes or an hour and then leave in separate cars. It’s clear he’s having an affair.
Should he tell his wife? My husband keeps telling me not to get involved in this, but if I were the wife, I would want to know.
Anonymous.
Dear Anonymous,
I say this with the utmost respect, shut your mouth.
The problem with ruining someone else’s marriage is that you don’t have all the facts before you do it. What may seem like a blatant affair to you, may be an open marriage to them. Is it? Probably not, but you don’t know that! And therein lies the problem.
Jana Hocking shares her best naughty secrets and most daring tips
If you want to subtly scare him by saying “I’ve got you,” I could go out and weed the front yard or wash the car when you know he’s home and she’s on her way. Maybe you could even introduce yourself and say, “Oh, are you looking for (insert wife’s name here)? She’s not home, but I think her husband is.”
They’ll be scared shitless if you’re up to something bad. But as for telling the wife, no. You look like a nosy neighbor, and there are enough fools in the world without adding more people to the list.
Dear Jana,
My partner and I recently had a threesome with a woman we met at a bar and it was amazing. I can’t stop thinking about her now. It was supposed to be a casual thing, but I’ve since followed her on Instagram and she’s followed me back.
She DMs me with fire emojis every time I upload a photo of myself to Stories and I want to catch up with her privately. How do I talk to my partner about this? He knows I’ve always been bisexually curious, but it’s always been something we’ve explored together.
I love him so much that I don’t want to end our relationship, but I’m desperate to explore this aspect of my sexuality further. Help!
Bi-curious.
Dear Bi-curious,
Ah, I see you’ve discovered the dark side of a threesome. The “oh no, I’ve fallen for you” dilemma.
I imagine the temptation is killing you, but guess what, people face that problem every day. Whether it’s two married coworkers who find their harmless flirting turning not so harmless, or the two drunk strangers at a bar looking each other up and down.
Temptations are everywhere and can cause our relationships to fall apart. Yet… you committed to your guy. Yeah, yuck, the C word.
That’s why I suggest you talk about it with your partner and let him think about it. I wouldn’t expect an immediate response. If he says he’s not comfortable with it, then don’t talk any further. No more fire emojis, no more instant flirting.
You may very well have to choose between your relationship or a night of living out your wild fantasies. It’s up to you. But if your relationship is as important as you say, then I know what I would choose.
“Enough of the nonsense right now. A crooked penis is certainly not a bad thing. Some would tell me it’s a very good thing,” says Jana.
Dear Jana,
I hurt my penis during a football game and now it’s a little crooked. It still works fine, but I’m afraid to show it to a woman in case I get a look of disgust. How do I get my confidence back? Do women really care what it looks like?
Anonymous.
Dear Anonymous,
Let’s stop talking nonsense right now. Because having a crooked penis is certainly not a bad thing. Some would say (me) that it’s a very good thing.
Because, as you’ve probably already discovered, a woman’s G-spot is a very difficult thing to find. Now imagine you have a little curved guiding light on the end of your old friend and now you have a great chance of finding it.
Think about how many times you’ve used your fingers. You’re not keeping them completely straight. No, that’s kind of creepy. You’re making them slightly curved, and that’s why women often find it more pleasurable to masturbate that way than with the woodpecker in your pants.
So wear your curvy ‘knight’ with pride and achieve those perfect angles with delight. Many women will thank you for it. Trust me.