SPICY SECRETS: I think my husband has given me a nasty disease. What should I do now?

Dear Jana,

I recently started experiencing itching and pain in my groin. I went to the doctors who looked at me and before I even took a swab they informed me that it looked like herpes. Sure enough, when the test results came back, that was the diagnosis.

I have been married for 15 years and this is the first time I have had an outbreak. I asked my husband if he had been unfaithful to me but he assured me that he had not, however when I forced him to take a test his results were also positive.

Now I feel deeply paranoid. Do you think he caught it from someone else and gave it to me?

Anonymous.

Oh dear. I’m sorry to tell you that if I were a betting woman, I’d bet he’s up to no good.

However, just to be sure, I asked a doctor friend and he told me that herpes can lie dormant in the body for years before a person experiences any symptoms.

When I told the doctor that I had been married for 15 years and this was the first discovery, he raised an eyebrow at me and said, “Yeah, that’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s still possible.”

I would suggest looking at other factors that give away a cheater: has he improved his appearance recently? Has he exercised more? Does he come home late? Does he hide his phone? If everything seems normal, then go on with your life and consider this an upsetting discovery related to your health.

But if I were you, I’d be collecting data. Do some more research and you might find out.

Dear Jana,

I recently got into a relationship and it’s been magical, until the other night when we had a lovers’ quarrel. I was craving validation from other men so I jumped on Raya again. I happened to meet a famous singer.

He’s been my crush since the 90s, so this is a big deal. My boyfriend and I have since reconciled, but I’m still talking to the singer and toying with the idea of ​​having a one-night stand.

Is a hall pass acceptable when it comes to my teenage love? I don’t know if my current boyfriend is forever and this opportunity feels too good to pass up.

Aid!

Anonymous.

Ok, Anonymous, I’m going to be honest with you. There’s a devil and an angel riding on my shoulders right now.

The angel is saying, “Don’t be ridiculous, close your Raya account, focus on your boyfriend and be a good girl.” However, the devil has a very big megaphone and shouts: ‘Life is short: DO IT!’

Bad devil.

I’ve always been a “do it for the story” type. So, as naughty as it may sound, I’m siding with the devil on this one.

Because? Because if you read your message there are some things that really stand out.

First of all, the fact that you went straight to a dating app during a fight means that you are not completely in love with your guy. I have had plenty of fights with hopeless boyfriends, but my heart has always been too troubled to think about dating someone in those moments. You are clearly not “all in.”

Secondly, you mention at the end of your message that ‘I don’t know if my current boyfriend will be forever’ and I mean, sure, you’re desperately looking for any excuse to sleep with your free pass, but when you’re really head over heels in love you’re not looking at nobody else.

So, to a swashbuckling one-night stand, I say YES. We all want that swashbuckling story that we can relive over and over again when we’re old and gray. However, you should first dump your guy. Why cheat on him when you could have a role in the hay without feeling guilty? If all goes wrong, try to get your man back.

Just make sure to use a condom.

Dear Jana,

I connected with a colleague (an fboi). He worries me that he told someone who has now told the big boss that strange things are happening. My boss keeps asking me if I have any secrets etc. How do I handle this professionally? It was fun but I’m too paranoid to do it again.

Anonymous.

I’m going to be brutally honest: He’s definitely been bluffing and it’s coming back to your idiotic boss. It seems like your f-boy predictions were correct, but he’s not the person I’d be mad at.

I would be more angry with your boss!

I think there are two ways to approach this. You can talk to the guy you slept with and ask him to tell your boss to stop asking questions. I mean, clearly he was the one who spilled the beans, so he should be the one to have the awkward conversation to clear things up.

Or, if you don’t mind setting a firm boundary, I would look your boss straight in the eye and say, “I’m really uncomfortable with you asking me that. Can I ask why you keep asking me personal questions?” Make him explain. Spoiler alert: He won’t have the guts to do it.

He will know instantly that he is in trouble. Nothing scares a boss more than the premonition of a possible human resources meeting.

But seriously, if all else fails, HR is always there for a confidential chat. They’ve seen it all and can help you navigate this workplace soap opera. Oh, men, I honestly think they gossip more than us women.