Gwyneth Paltrow walked so Gisele Bündchen could run.
In a solipsistic, vainglorious new interview with ABC News, the woman who was once the world’s highest-paid supermodel, now 43, begs for our adulation as she plays the victim.
Hey, she’s just living her truth, don’t you know?
Gisele is on her journey, searching for her most authentic self, climbing her metaphorical mountain (that’s the ridiculous title of this soft-spoken bath, ‘Climbing the Mountain’), examining her spiritual valleys while dodging any questions about her current love story. , which may or may not have predated her divorce from Tom Brady.
Plus, she has a new cookbook to promote. ‘Nourish’ is the title, sold by a woman who once existed solely on alcohol, cigarettes, coffee and oxygen.
In a solipsistic, vainglorious new interview with ABC News, the woman who was once the world’s highest-paid supermodel, now 43, begs for our adulation as she plays the victim.
Gisele is on her journey, searching for her most authentic self, climbing her metaphorical mountain, examining her spiritual valleys while dodging any questions about her current love story, which may or may not have predated her divorce from Tom Brady.
Whoever has overcome similar vices, keep in mind: Gisele abandoned them better than you.
“In one day,” he told Roberts, “I stopped smoking, drinking coffee, and drinking alcohol,” because his doctor asked me, “Do you want to live?”
It sounds hyperbolic. How old could he have been? 30? But Gisele doubles down.
“I’m living my truth and I make no apologies for it,” he says. Whatever that means.
She’s giving Gwyneth vibes, all inspired by the actress who once promoted her own “starvation diet,” IV hookups, “intuitive fasting” and something called “rectal ozone therapy” while selling cookbooks and wellness books.
ABC’s Robin Roberts should be ashamed. Here is this so-called journalist interrogating Gisele as if she were breaking real news. Things that you and I, the hoi polloi who wanted to get our dirty little hands on this elegant cookbook (list price $31.50), really care about.
Roberts: “I heard you’re starting to include some meat in your diet.”
Bündchen: ‘Yes! And that was all part of my journey.”
Solid nutrition as self-realization. Only a glamazonic member of the one percent would be clueless enough to speak this way.
In the photo: Promotion of their new cookbook.
Here’s a newsflash for Ms. Bündchen: average American women, especially those who are mothers, are struggling.
Their schedules don’t allow for daily trips to the local farmers market, even if they live near one. They are lucky if they can afford to put gas in the car and pay the electricity bill. Have enough energy to help your children with homework while keeping the house clean.
They don’t live on sprawling 7.5-acre ranches north of Miami filled with custom-built horse stables for multiple thoroughbreds, an oak tree that provides respite for daily meditation, or the promise of growing your own food in the backyard.
“I’m a farmer,” says Gisele, dressed in her equestrian cosplay. Sure.
We open with this reanimated supermodel strolling through a photo shoot, air-kissing, and talking about finding herself while laser-shooting a box of cupcakes.
The stylists, the hair and makeup artists, the photographer, everyone Oh and oh.
“I think we should have this later,” Gisele declares.
The crew is salivating, but Gisele is not deterred. Even the small dog he cradles shows complete restraint, not a bark or a whimper.
“For dessert,” says Gisele. “After lunch, you can eat this (then).”
It seems Tom Brady wasn’t the only control freak in that marriage.
And that brings us to the heart of this interview: Gisele dishing out a glimpse of her personal pain in exchange for this glorified infomercial: the divorce of the golden couple, the quarterback and the supermodel, after pushing her seemingly ultra-perfect family through the Americas. throat for years.
Roberts: “I think the phrase you used was ‘the death of a dream.'”
Bündchen: “Well, when you say…”
She shakes her head and squeezes out a tear.
Who knew this question would come, right? Let alone one of the most media-savvy celebrities, one who has been famous since she was 18 years old.
Plus, she has a new cookbook to promote. ‘Nourish’ is the title, sold by a woman who once existed solely on alcohol, cigarettes, coffee and oxygen.
And that brings us to the heart of this interview: Gisele dishing out a glimpse of her personal pain in exchange for this glorified infomercial. (In the photo: with her three children).
‘Sorry guys, I didn’t know.’ Gisele raises a hand and turns her head away from the camera. She just can’t, you see, she just can’t.
‘Can I have a moment?’
Then he breathes, recreating the Vanity Fair interview he gave in 2023 in which he invoked “the death of my dream” in a broken voice, tears threatening to spill over, and, “after several yogic inhales and exhales,” resuming his breathing. story – her “truth” – just as she does with Roberts.
Did you know? If authenticity is the name of the game, let’s be authentic.
Here’s what wasn’t mentioned in this ABC News interview, which is published under the once-esteemed ‘Nightline’ banner:
The complicated beginning of Brady and Bündchen’s romance, which collided with the pregnancy of Brady’s ex, Bridget Moynahan.
Tom and Gisele’s much-publicized endorsement of FTX, the fraudulent crypto scheme that sent founder Sam Bankman-Fried to prison.
And what about Gisele’s secret plastic surgery, derailed when she was surprised by a paparazzo dressed head to toe in, no less, a burqa?
Or her then-husband’s trip to Las Vegas with Ben Affleck, whose nanny was photographed wearing four of Brady’s Super Bowl rings? (This was apparently the last straw for Affleck’s then-wife, Jennifer Garner, who split from him just three days later.)
Oh, and let’s not forget Gisele’s jujitsu instructor, who she’s been linked to for years.
She has long denied any romantic relationship with him, until February 16, when DailyMail.com published an exclusive video of Gisele and her instructor kissing.
According to inside sources, Brady has since said that he “accepted” the relationship began “years ago,” long before their divorce in 2022 after 13 years of marriage.
But Bündchen plays dumb with Roberts, a single mother who doesn’t know if she can “open her heart again.”
“I think right now,” Gisele says, “my priority is my kids and creating this beautiful sanctuary.”
However, Gisele attacks Brady’s co-parenting skills, claiming he’s above petty point scores while telling Roberts, “You know, some days are easier than others.” I can only control what I do.’
Just when you can feel sympathy for Brady, he brings the kids into this too.
After this interview, a source said that she was ‘afraid’ of getting divorced and repeating the ‘stress’ of raising children with another ex-partner.
“Tom would actually agree that co-parenting hasn’t been easy,” the source said. “A lot of love has been lost in their relationship.”
Wow. How about these two give their kids a gift and stop talking about them?
According to inside sources, Brady has “accepted” that Gisele’s new relationship began “years ago,” long before their divorce in 2022. But Bündchen plays dumb, a single mother who doesn’t know if she can “open her heart again.” “. (Pictured: Gisele and jujitsu instructor Joaquim Valente in Miami in May 2023.)
Furthermore, Bündchen never fails to mention Jack, her stepson, whom she continually claims as her own. “I raised him,” he tells Roberts.
His mother would not agree.
Once again, all of this is unfortunately reminiscent of Gwyneth, who this week publicly complained, once again, about her two young stepchildren.
Being a stepmom, she told the crowd at an International Women’s Day summit in Los Angeles, has been “a bitch.”
This is the problem with living in your truth. He leaves no room for anyone else, not even innocent children.
“At the end of the day,” Bündchen tells Roberts, “if you’re not true to who you are, it doesn’t work.”
That’s at least one thing he’s right about. Note to the pseudo-shaman that is Gisele: heal yourself.