You will feel defeated, hurt, heartbroken, and betrayed, even depressed after a nasty breakup. That’s when you want to wrap your head around the fact that you were practically in each other’s day but not anymore is something you find very hard to do. The most troubling part is that you can’t listen to love songs at that moment without getting pissed, tearing up, or picking up your phone, wanting to call your ex. For some, they can’t get enough heartbreak songs, to an extent where their friends have to stage a rescue mission.
Breakups can be very messy, especially if you love your ex, but things have ended between both of you, and you have to focus on moving on from the relationship. Here are some tips that can help you get back on track for good.
Talk About It
Most people do not get to talk about their relationship after it has ended, maybe from the fear of relieving the hurt or pain they felt, but the truth remains that you have to rip off the band-aid because that is the only way to move on from the breakup. However, when you are narrating the separation to your friends or support group, be honest about it and seek advice. Everyone has gone through a nasty breakup. You can take a leave from their handbook on getting through breakups.
Also, when you are in the comfort of your own space, analyzing what went wrong in your relationship, please do not share the blame. Make it a session where you note lessons learned, what not to do in a new relationship, and whatnot. That is the best way to heal and move on.
Don’t Be Sentimental
Everyone is entitled to being sentimental about their failed relationship because, at one point, you were in each other’s lives and but not anymore. You are there with a bucket of ice cream or bottle of liquor, wondering how long is the no contact rule after breakup? Does she even miss me? Can we ever get back together? When in reality, your ex has moved on and is living her best life.
Please stand up and go to your wardrobe, open it up and clear out stuff you know will remind you of the nasty breakup. There is no time for sentiments because you need to move on. Also, this is not the time to be a stalker on social media; it could affect your zeal to move on. Hence, if blocking your ex on all your social media platforms is the best way for you to make peace with the breakup, go ahead and do it. You need to keep a sane mind and let go of everything that reminds you of her best way to go.
Do Something Fun
Instead of hosting a mopping party with all the free time you have now, why not use it for fun. Your weekends are yours alone now. Plan an activity that helps you fill-up the weekend. You could go window shopping, go hiking, visit museums, go on a food tasting course, sign up for a Zumba or salsa class, go to the beach, anything fun that keeps you occupied. It is okay to do these fun activities alone, at least, to help you get to terms that you’re single now.
Asides from doing something fun, you need to socialize more too. Your friends are worried about you. That is why they keep calling you to hang out with them, honor the invitation, have some fun. Also, accept all the party invitations that you have ignored, go out there, connect, socialize, and live in the moment. Please do not go out because you are looking for a rebound because you want to have fun and meet new people.
Focus on Your Work or Career
If you think socializing or doing something fun is not the best way to get over your ex, maybe you need to pour your new free time into your work or career. Perhaps you have been delaying taking that professional course or avoiding joining a new project. This is the time to do it. Suppose your work involves travel or overtime tasks; volunteer for it. This may put you on a positive note at work, boost your rep at the office, and earn you a bonus or promotion.
Breakup is a heavy pill to swallow, but you have to stay the course and follow the tip mentioned above because all that is left for you is learning to survive this, and it shall pass.