Table of Contents
EMMERDALE
Soapland is not progressive when it comes to women choosing not to take their husbands’ last name.
The confetti barely had time to fall outside the church when the credits roll, revealing the woman’s new name.
So you can imagine how bewildered Tom is when Bella says she has no intention of becoming Mrs. King. Despite offering a reasonable explanation (most people named King end up dead, maybe?), her decision clearly upsets Tom and she eventually relents.
There is even more anger on Tom’s part when he storms off after Belle laments her parents’ absence, pointing out that hers won’t be there either. Wow, nonsense.
Trouble brews on Bella’s big day in Emmerdale
On the big day, Bella still hasn’t heard from her lover, so she has no idea if the wedding is still going on. Didn’t I tell you last week that it would have been better if she had stuck to the cardboard cutout?
Anyway, Tom finally confirms that the wedding will happen (very magnanimous. No. Hosting a board meeting couldn’t be less inspiring), but then there’s another problem in the works.
Well, B&Q’s entire wrench rack, to be precise. What is your problem now? He is not happy with the oddities of the Dingles’ behavior. Hey! Oh really? Did you just notice that the entire Dingle clan makes Fraggle Rock look like Bridgerton?
The happy(ish) event continues, but Tom is dissatisfied once again when the Dingles continue their rowdy antics at the reception and is furious that they have ruined the day.
Bella, you have to get out of there. Fast. If I were you, I’d stay away from that cake cutting knife; The engravers are probably already chatting with local bricklayers about his tombstone.
However, by far the biggest excitement of the wedding reception is Ruby, who interrupts to tell everyone that Caleb and Tracy were present. Wow. Talking about upstaging the girlfriend.
Meanwhile, at the cabin, the police show up and arrest Rhona for kidnapping. If only they had been as diligent when there was a serial killer on the loose.
CORONATION STREET
Bullying is a big issue for the younger generation, but give it a break, Corrie. We already have Paul’s motor neurone disease, Simon’s drinking problem, Joseph’s Lyme disease, Ed’s gambling addiction… please lighten the load! Give us more scenes with Brian (where has he gone?), George, Todd, Mary, Tim, Sally, not only the best characters but the best actors.
Bullying is the latest problem on Coronation Street, as Maria discovers Liam (pictured) has been researching ways to commit suicide.
Unfortunately, the misery is relentless when Maria discovers that Liam has been researching ways to commit suicide. Someone needs to control this. I laughed more watching Hamlet. And pity poor Mrs Crawshaw, who seems to be the only member of staff at the school.
Maybe we’ll still get some light relief from Tommy who, I suspect, will end up serving all the local ladies, resulting in a big fight when they discover he’s been sowing more wild oats than a Quaker factory. But I don’t believe the Tracy thing; her marital dissatisfaction needed more substance before we were convinced he would sleep with Orpie Overall.
What’s going through Lauren’s head?
Corrie’s Lauren may be getting closer to Bobby, but given their history, what’s really going on in her head? “I think Lauren is very confused,” says Cait Fitton, who plays her. “There’s this so-called boyfriend that no one knows, but there’s also Bobby, who brings excitement to his life.” Hmm. He has the gift of words, but emotion? “Bobby accepts her as she is and looks for the positive instead of the negative.”
EASTENDERS
Johnny and Dean come to blows over Linda.
Well, we need a recap, especially since Johnny has been recast and is now played by Charlie Suff. He has been away for five years and, if you need reminding, he is the son of Mick and Linda, brother of Lee, Nancy and Ollie, half-brother of Frankie and Annie Carter and grandson of others too many to mention. Oh yeah, and he’s gay.
In EastEnders, Johnny and Dean fight over Linda.
She is then horrified to discover Linda’s condition and, upon learning that Dean has returned, rushes to confront him. Even though Ben managed to drag Johnny away from Dean in Beale’s Eels, at closing time Johnny punches Dean (both upstairs) and tells him to leave Linda alone. Be grateful, dean. Anything that prevents you from eating eels has to be welcomed.
Life is not easy for George, who discovers that the only reason his adoptive father came back into his life is because he needs him as a witness at his trial for a racially motivated murder. George also discovers the truth about his childhood.
Denise’s misery drags on and, unsurprisingly, on Valentine’s Day, Jack would rather be with Stacey. Jack – forget her too. Your life would be much easier with me!