Should you dump someone about their politics? Like Jodie Comer is criticized for going out with a Republican
Tanya Gold (pictured) states that the idea of not loving someone who doesn’t share your opinion is the height of narcissism
by Tanya Gold
Twitter has learned that actress Jodie Comer is dating a Republican who is believed to be a Donald Trump supporter: a man named James Burke.
She has decided, the cancellation club has decided, to drop him for someone who shares her leftist politics. If she doesn’t, the hashtag #jodiecomer isoverparty could be a trend forever.
But the idea that you can’t love or sleep with someone who doesn’t share your politics is the height of narcissism. Do you want to look at your love and only see a mirror image of yourself? What is the excitement – or the danger – in it? Isn’t that self-love instead of love?
It is fashionable, in the crazier corners of the left, to hate your political opponent and refuse to do business with them: “non-platforming” them. This is not just bad politics, as the latest elections showed – who could have guessed that people prefer persuasion over insults? – it also reduces those in your life to a collection of people who share your opinion.
If you let yourself be so limited, you will not change as you age and you lose the ability to be surprised. You will end up being the kind of person who shouts at bus stops. I am a social democratic Jew and eight years ago I married a Christian Tory. I think we were both stunned, but love will disappear.
I shout at him when the elections come, of course, and I think the resurrection probably didn’t happen, but I feel I don’t have the right to change his views, to be honest and wet Tory. I wouldn’t want to. If he changed himself for me and became a person in my image, would there be anything left of him to love?
I find his country Toryism tempting, with its promise of Agas and wet dogs and cross-border kisses for Newsnight.
I am a Jew, married to a Christian Tory. Love will disappear
Rather, it limits your sexual chances if you’re only willing to jump in bed with people who want to talk about how wonderful Rebecca Long-Bailey is.
My suspicion is that young far-left people date their mirrors because they are too pocked to date opponents, then run away to watch porn only.
Wouldn’t they rather shout at Vladimir Putin in Russia, Recep Tayyip Erdogan in Turkey or Jair Bolsonaro in Brazil, or some other tyrant tyrant thriving all over the world as leftist politics pick up?
This invasion of people’s private lives is outrageous. I hope Jodie ignores her critics. Social media doesn’t keep you warm at night.
Flora Gill (photo) said that political views are a reflection of your principles and morals
by Flora Gill
Writing off someone for a political view is often seen as intolerant or shortsighted.
However, to paraphrase the old adage, “politics is personal” – the political beliefs you have reflect your innermost values. I can accept certain opinions when discussed at dinners or even discussed with friends, but when it comes to the person I see, I’m not ashamed to say my bed can be biased.
A few years ago, I went on a date with a boy I met at a friend’s party. He had a friendly, unsteady smile and wore scarves whatever the weather.
But despite the date progressing well, he shared political views that I think were grounded in sexism (maternity rights and abortion laws were both discussed). I walked out of the bar and decided not to continue eating.
Why? Because your political views are not the same as hating Game of Thrones or making tea with milk first. They reflect your principles and morals.
Let’s face it, a man who doesn’t value maternity rights at work is unlikely to treat his wife’s career with the same importance as his.
And it’s not just about views that will affect your life together personally. If a man went to my best friend and her friend and told them that their love was not real or equal to his straight friends, I would dump him immediately. So why would I want to date someone who said they were against same-sex marriage?
These may seem like extreme examples, but they were topical topics in the political debate just a few years ago.
Dating is not a BBC panel show. Sharing values is important
If you understand why these would be deal breakers, there is no reason why the problems that we think about just as much today shouldn’t create the same moral lines. Views on Black Lives Matter, immigration, trans rights and even the dreaded Brexit are all reasons enough to break up with someone.
It’s not a question of “Can I miss this?” – it makes them less attractive to you.
Of course, whom Jodie Comer is dating is not up to her fans, but if his views are really the opposite of hers, they are likely to cause more problems than just a trending hashtag.
Because when it comes to your bed and your life, you can be picky and draw red lines. This is not a BBC panel show or debate club at school. You don’t have to spend the same amount of time on different opinions.
If you think that a political position is so important that you see it as moral, you have to break up with someone who disagrees. If you fundamentally believe that their opinion is wrong, you will never be able to see them as Mr. / Mrs.