Shane MacGowan’s wife Victoria Mary Clarke admitted she felt suicidal at times following her husband’s death.
The Pogues frontman died at his Dublin home last year aged 65, surrounded by his family, after developing pneumonia.
He married Irish journalist Victoria, 58, in Copenhagen in 2018 after being engaged for 11 years and dating for decades.
And now, almost a year after her death, Victoria has opened up about her intense grieving process and said that “there is no easy way to overcome” the pain.
talking to the independentVictoria detailed the anguish she felt over the loss, explaining: ‘There were obviously huge amounts of desolation and despair. There were quite a few days where I thought I definitely wanted to kill myself; I wanted to get out of here and go be with him.’
The publication reports that Victoria called suicide charity The Samaritans “several times” and also received support from loved ones during her heartbreak, with Victoria adding that she doesn’t believe there is “a quick or easy way to get over” the pain.
Shane MacGowan’s wife Victoria Mary Clarke admitted she felt suicidal at times following her husband’s death.
The Pogues frontman died at his Dublin home last year aged 65 surrounded by his family after developing pneumonia.
Speaking further about her struggles, she continued: ‘You just have to allow yourself to feel it. “So there was a lot of howling and crying and shitty feelings (the symptoms are very physical, like pain in the ribs) and you didn’t want to get out of bed.”
She went on to say that for most of her time, her “world” consisted of just her and Shane, adding, “He took care of me, we took care of each other.” We were complete.’
The writer also added that she had recorded their conversations and listened to them continuously, saying how doing so made her feel as if her husband was “in the room.”
During the very candid interview, Victoria, who recently opened her first solo exhibition, told how her late partner has been an influence on her work and told how she gave a talk about grief, but then Shane kept “making me say funny things”. , leaving the audience in stitches.
Victoria also added that Shane’s friends, including Nick Cave, had been helping her through her grief, and Nick, who sadly lost two children, recommended ice water to her as it makes you feel like you want to “stay alive.”
The legendary Irish rocker, who was behind the iconic Christmas song Fairytale of New York, died ‘peacefully’ with his wife and family by his side.
The singer was battling viral encephalitis, a life-threatening condition that causes inflammation of the brain, and had been in and out of St Vincent’s Hospital in Dublin for months. He was discharged before his next birthday on Christmas Day.
In June this year, Victoria paid tribute to her “soulmate” six months after his funeral and says she doubts she will ever find her “connection” with anyone else.
Almost a year after his death, Victoria opened up about her intense grieving process and said that “there is no easy way to get over” the pain (Victoria and Shane in 2012).
“There were obviously enormous amounts of desolation and despair. There were quite a few days when I thought I definitely wanted to kill myself.’
‘You just have to allow yourself to feel it. Then there was a lot of howling and crying and shitty feelings; The symptoms are very physical, like rib pain, and you don’t want to get out of bed.
Victoria, from Dublin, met her late husband when she was 16 at The Royal Oak pub in north London in December 1982.
The couple, who had an eight-year age difference, began dating in 1986 and married in 2018.
Appearing in an episode of the what a woman podcastThe Irish journalist spoke about her early relationship and her pain since Shane’s death at the age of 65 in November 2023.
Speaking about the beginning of their 40-year love story, Victoria recalled in a teaser clip on instagram: ‘Everything about him was so magnetic and charismatic.
‘My life changed completely. “It was as if the missing piece in my life had arrived.”
Victoria spoke about her pain and continued: “When you have a soulmate, you feel very one with them.
In June this year, Victoria paid tribute to her ‘soulmate’ six months after his funeral and says she doubts she will ever find her ‘connection’ with anyone else.
“It’s a very deep connection that I’ve never had with anyone else and I don’t even know if it’s possible to have it with anyone else.”
talking to BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s HourVictoria said shortly after Shane’s death: “When I look at his photo, I feel him smiling at me and I really feel a real smile, a genuine connection.”
‘I feel their love and I feel that connection very strongly. So it’s very hard to feel sad about it, although sometimes I burst into tears over my own loss.
“I can’t feel sad for him because I really feel like he’s in a very happy state.”
He then went on to describe their relationship as “having a part of your soul that’s in another human form.”