Dear Jana,
I think my son might not be my son. He looks suspiciously like my best friend, they both have blonde hair and very blue eyes. I have brown eyes and almost black hair. My wife has always flirted with him, but I thought it was all for fun. Now I’m not so sure. Is it wrong to ask for a paternity test?
jackson
Oh Jackson, this is quite a dilemma! I remember a doctor friend of mine told me that this is MUCH more common than we assume, isn’t that crazy? And I daresay you’re not the first man to look at his son and wonder if his partner had been telling the truth, but let’s look at the statistics on this case.
A 2022 study published in ‘Human Reproduction’ delved into data from 1,211 men seeking paternity testing in the United States. The findings revealed that a whopping 11% were not the biological parents of the children they were raising.
Shameless, shameless women!
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I’ve always said that our guts don’t lie when it comes to cheating. Any guy I thought was unfaithful to me, he was. Each. Damned. Time. So I think it’s fair to question something your spidey senses have already picked up on.
However, there are a couple of things you really need to consider here before requesting a paternity test.
1. Do you want to know? Like really. Once test results are available, there is no turning back. How would this affect your relationship with your child? You have to ask yourself if it’s worth it.
2. Are you prepared to have an awkward conversation with your wife? Because let’s be honest, if your wife has been faithful, she will be very angry that you asked her. Evaluate whether her need to know the truth outweighs her need to keep the family together.
If it makes you feel better, my brother and I are nothing alike and we are definitely related. I was born with white blonde hair, light skin and blue eyes. My brother has dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and beautiful olive skin.
I thought it was funny to tell everyone at school that he was the postman’s son for a cheap laugh, until one day he broke it and I got punished. Outrageous. It turns out that my brothers’ beautiful dark features come from my mother’s Tongan ancestry, and both my great-grandmother and cousin are the same.
So before you drop a bomb on your family, maybe take a wonder down the path of ancestry. Maybe you will find the answers you are looking for.
Dear Jana,
My boyfriend is driving me crazy! He likes all these attractive ‘models’ on Instagram and constantly likes their photos and leaves fire emojis under their bikini photos. Every time I bring it up, he tells me I’m crazy and all the guys do it. He says that he is part of being a man. He makes me feel very insecure and I feel like I’m being tricked. Am I wrong or is he being disrespectful to our relationship? Aid!
Chain
Oh Jess, he’s doing it all wrong. I should do what all the weirdos on my Instagram do and create a ‘finsta’ (which means fake Instagram account) to enjoy their daily kink.
At least once a day I get a new follow request from some account called @josephrogersmore847237 or something like that.
When I look at who else they’re following, it’s just a stream of women in bikinis. And I think to myself ‘ahhh, yeah, another married guy who doesn’t want his wife to know they’re going crazy.’
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Doing it so publicly from your own account is a rookie mistake and just plain rude. Don’t let this man fool you into believing that he is fine. He is showing very little respect for you and I think this is where that dreaded word “boundaries” should come in.
Explain how it makes you feel and try to find out what their intention is. Do you like everyone’s Instagram photos or is it just the pretty girls? Context matters.
Listen, at the end of the day we all have eyes. And when I finally jump into the deep end of a relationship, I’ll still be drooling over Jeremy Clarkson’s account (I said what I said!) but I’ll leave thirsty messages under photos of him. No. That’s just disgusting.
Dear Jana,
My boyfriend won’t stop farting in front of me. It’s the most unpleasant smell I’ve ever smelled. I actually told him he needed to change his diet, but he says it’s the protein shakes at the gym. It’s really turning me off to the point where I don’t want to have sex with him. How do I get him to stop?
wool
Lana, I think farting in front of someone other than your dog should be a criminal offense. We’re talking about jail! However, the last time I spoke about my hatred of farts in public, I was completely annihilated by men and women in the comments section.
Jana often helps men with their problems, including a man who is sure his blonde son is his best friend’s son.
They went on to say that there is nothing wrong with having a healthy foot in front of your loved one. ‘It’s perfectly natural’, ‘It’s healthier to let it out and then keep it in’, blah blah blah. But I have a question for these people… Are they having sex? Oh really.
If a boy I like drops a drop, I instantly think of the disgusting poop particles floating around his nether regions. Oh. It makes me want to hand him some toilet paper and run. So I can understand where you are coming from.
I think a “small” threat will suffice. Let this man know in no uncertain terms: you do not want to be a Dutch oven. You don’t think it’s fun to let one break down on a road trip with the windows down.
And you certainly don’t want to detect their dietary imbalances by the smell of their horrendous pop-off. Tell him to squeeze those butt cheeks or he’ll never touch your breasts again. That should stop you quickly and smartly.
My parents were married for 20 years without a single ‘brrrrt’ being heard, and that’s just good manners.
What happened to romantic people?
