Second Date Secrets: Scientists Say Good Manners Are Key For Men, But For Women It’s All About Flirting
- A study led by the University of Florida has shared the secrets to getting a second date.
- Women are looking for an educated man who is a good listener and asks a lot of questions.
- Men like dates who hand out compliments, shake hands, and even drink alcohol.
Whether it’s cheesy conversation or a bouquet of flowers, there are countless classic tactics to impress on a first date.
But now scientists have revealed some of the most successful ways to ensure a second exit.
Their findings suggest that the secrets to getting a second date differ drastically between men and women.
For the ladies, the study suggests it’s all about flirty eye contact, doling out compliments, and holding hands.
Conversely, educated men who ask a lot of questions are more likely to land a second date.
Whether it’s cheesy conversation or a bouquet of flowers, there are countless classic tactics to impress on a first date. But now scientists have revealed some of the most successful ways to ensure a second exit.
“I became interested in this topic by observing a really bad date at a bar while I was out with my friends,” said lead researcher James Moran of the University of Florida. psychiatry.
“The man on the date was acting so strange and aggressive towards the woman on the date that she got up and left, and he was flabbergasted.
“I was a master’s student at the time studying relationship science and was curious if anyone had researched behaviors that are most successful on a first date.”
He study recruited 131 participants to understand the green flags in the heterosexual dating scene.
Men and women were asked to rank what they thought were key attributes on a date into the categories of ‘etiquette’, ‘participation’ and ‘behavior’.
Being polite, attentive, and talkative was largely referred to as “etiquette,” while “participation” encompassed drinking alcohol and holding hands, for example.
Meanwhile, the ‘behavior’ only included two attributes that paid the date and kept the door open.
In the eyes of women, dates with the highest etiquette were perceived as more successful in the dating world.
So any date who gets too drunk or can’t stop checking their phone may be at risk of being ghosted.
On the other hand, men liked women who were more ‘involved’ and showed more romantic gestures like holding hands and flirting.

While flirty eye contact and drinking are perceived as a top priority for women, polite men who ask a lot of questions are thought to be more likely to close the deal.

Following these surveys, the scientists watched the Netflix reality show Dating Around to understand the true role of these perceptions and dating strategies.
Interestingly, these behaviors did not completely match the opinions that men and women have about themselves and their own dating strategies.
Scientists revealed that women prioritize wearing makeup and being fun on a first date if they want a chance at another.
But men are more likely to be silly and even pick up a woman in their car if they’re interested in a second date.
Still, researchers question how much influence these strategies have on reality.
After these surveys, the scientists watched the Netflix reality show Dating Around to understand their true role.
Etiquette and participation did not have much of an influence, highlighting a stark contrast between perceptions and real life.
However, the researchers acknowledged that TV shows are not always real and are heavily edited.
They wrote: “Reality dating shows similar to ‘Dating Around’ (e.g. The Bachelor) are notoriously popular for editing scenes or guiding people to like specific people in the interest of increasing TV ratings.”
They later added: ‘Single people can benefit from this research because many people are looking for their long-term romantic partner and experience a lot of dating stress.
“As the Ryan Reynolds quote suggests, ‘A first date is an interview.'”