From the outside, Patric Gagne appears to be an ordinary, middle-class mother of two from Los Angeles. Her Instagram page, peppered with images of her and her children, projects the image of a typical doting mother.
But there’s one key difference: Gagne is a “highly manipulative” sociopath who “is capable of almost anything,” by her own admission.
He has now written a memoir detailing how he struggles to identify with many human emotions, and candidly shares that he is “mostly immune to remorse and guilt.”
Among his surprising confessions is the apathy he felt for the birth of his son.
“I wasn’t overwhelmed with emotion. I did not receive the deep wave of “perfect” love that I had been promised. …I couldn’t connect with my feelings, I was furious,” Gagne wrote in her memoir in an excerpt shared with the LA Times.
From the outside, Patric Gagne appears to be a normal, middle-class mother of two from Los Angeles, but she has long known that she is a sociopath.
Among his surprising confessions is the apathy he felt at the birth of his son, describing his ‘fury’ at not being able to feel the ‘perfect love’ promised.
He has now written a memoir detailing how he struggles to identify with many human emotions and candidly shares that he is “mostly immune to remorse and guilt.”
The 48-year-old is among about 13.7 million Americans who are sociopaths, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
The clinic describes sociopathy, or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), as a mental health condition, “which can affect the way you think and interact with others.”
‘It is common for people diagnosed with ASPD to show a lack of respect toward others, break the law, ignore the consequences of their actions, or refuse to take responsibility.
“ASPD can be dangerous as you are at high risk of causing physical or emotional harm to yourself and those around you.”
While keen to dispel the popular perception of sociopaths propagated in the media and pop culture, Gagne admits that his early years were marked by a desire for violence and crime.
“This impulse felt like an unrelenting pressure that expanded until it permeated my entire being,” Gagne wrote in The Wall Street Journal.
‘The more I tried to ignore it, the worse it got. My muscles would tense, my stomach would tie into knots. Tightest. Tightest.
‘It was claustrophobic, like being trapped inside my brain. Trapped inside a void.’
One of the first cases he remembers is when he stabbed a second-grade boy with a pencil.
Or the time she stole a pink barrette from a classmate’s hair, not because she coveted the item, but to help deal with the “nothingness” she felt.
The 48-year-old is among about 13.7 million Americans who are sociopaths, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
While keen to dispel the popular perception of sociopaths propagated in the media and pop culture, Gagne admits that his early years were marked by a desire for violence and crime.
It wasn’t just childhood, while attending UCLA, he would often break into houses for the thrill of it or go on fun rides before returning the car, sometimes with a full tank of gas.
Gagne is keen to point out that not all sociopaths are “dangerous criminals.” He hopes his heartfelt confessions will help other people with “limited access” to their emotions.
She has described her experiences as a child, feeling no remorse after being caught stealing no matter how hard she tried, but also not fearing the repercussions.
After years of studying and examining the link between feeling no remorse, anxiety, apathy, and stress with the urge to “behave destructively,” Gagne was able to diagnose and control her impulses and become a wife and mother.
He studied the disorder for years, undergoing intensive therapy and earning a doctorate. in psychology before accepting her disorder and realizing that sociopaths aren’t “bad” or “evil” or “crazy,” they just don’t process feelings and emotions as well as others.
“For more than a century, society has considered sociopathy untreatable and irredeemable,” Gagne wrote.
“Those affected have been maligned and shunned by mental health professionals who do not understand or choose to ignore the fact that sociopathy, like many personality disorders, exists on a spectrum.”
Scientists are still unsure of the causes of sociopathy, which psychologists now more commonly call antisocial personality disorder.
‘I don’t care what other people think. “I’m not interested in morals,” Gagne admits, but reveals how understanding his condition has helped her control his impulses.
Gagne has been able to become a wife and mother, but she still sometimes struggles to understand the neurotypical view of the world.
They believe that people are more likely to develop the disorder if they have a family history of sociopathy or if they had a traumatic experience in their childhood.
As an adult, when Gagne shares her diagnosis with others, they sometimes tell her their own, often disturbing, secrets.
Gagne said The New York Times that about two years ago I was sitting across from a man at a dinner and when she mentioned that she was a sociopath, he told her, ‘You know, I have a lot of thoughts about killing my wife.’
She asked him to tell her more and he said, “I’ve really thought about it.” I have contacted people to hire someone to kill her.
People assume Gagne sympathizes with their plight, she told the outlet, because they believe she would identify with them.
The term sociopath was not formally recognized as a disorder until the 1930s, when it was called psychopathy, but was not yet commonly discussed until 1952, when the term changed to sociopathy.
A person with sociopathy is not always easy to spot: they may seem friendly and charming, but their lack of conscience and empathy, their disdain for following rules and other social norms, their reckless disregard for their own safety, and their impulsive and aggressive tendencies make them stand out.
‘I don’t care what other people think. “I’m not interested in morality,” Gagne admits.
‘I’m not interested, period. The rules do not influence my decision making. I am capable of almost anything.