SAUCY SECRETS: I’ve been sleeping with a married TV star every time she’s in town. The sexual chemistry is amazing – will she leave her husband?

Dear Jana,

I’m a single reality TV contestant and I’ve been seeing **married TV star** every time she’s in town. We have incredible sexual chemistry. What are the chances that I’ll leave her husband so we can be together?

Dear Reality TV Contestant,

I’m afraid I have bad news for you. The odds are very low. I’ve seen this happen a million times and never in favor of just one person.

The number of hours I have spent on the phone with friends crying over their married lovers is extraordinary. Telling them over and over again to get rid of the failure and find someone available, and they do it? No. Not for long. And that time they could have spent making love with heart emoji eyes with their future husbands. So please don’t waste your time.

Unfortunately, we singles are very good at stroking the egos of these married lotharios and making them feel desirable outside of their marriage, but why would they want anything more than that? They have their cake and they are eating it too.

And here’s some sobering news: Statistically only 3 to 5 percent of married people who have affairs divorce their partner and marry the person with whom they have been unfaithful.

So let me ask you this: If she left her husband for you, would you ever really trust her? If she was happy to cheat on him, there will always be a question in your mind if she could do the same with you. Suspicion would eat you alive little by little.

So, my advice: get rid of failure.

Dear Jana,

My wife recently told me that she wants to try an open relationship. We are high school sweethearts, we met when we were 16 and married at 24.

Now that we’re quickly approaching our 40th birthday, she feels like she’s missed out on dating and is upset that she’s only slept with one person: me.

At first I was upset by his request, but the more I think about it, the more excited I am. We have both stayed in good shape and I think we could do well on the dating scene.

Do you think this is a right decision and how would we approach it?

José.

Hi Josh,

Am I’m going to be perfectly frank with you. Yes, yes, I think it is a right decision. No one should be denied a full and solid sexual life. When I’m old and grey, I want to fondly remember the time I spent between the sheets. And my goodness, if I had married my high school sweetheart, I’m afraid life would have gotten pretty boring being with the same person my entire life. But get ready for an incredible ride because open relationships are not for the faint of heart.

Believe me, there will be tears. But also, hopefully, orgasms.

I’ve been with men in open relationships and seen the pros and cons. So here are some important things to consider:

Jealousy: Sure, you might be ready to jump into apps and swipe right on some beauties, but remember that your wife will do the same. And God forbid you discover, like most men, that apps are always working in women’s favor. Yes, statistically she is more likely to get more matches than you. She assesses how that would make you feel. Do you feel like the green-eyed monster comes out just by thinking about it?

Rules of the game: This is where most people in open relationships find themselves in a bind. If you don’t have a frank discussion about what is allowed and what is not, you will mind finding yourself involved in many arguments. Are you happy for them to go out with other people (we’re talking dinner and sex) or would you rather your partner only had one-night stands?

Be realistic: Let’s face it, humans are living longer now and it’s a little ridiculous to think that a single romantic partner can give you everything you need in life. But before you open up your relationship, consider the risks and decide if it’s worth putting your marriage on the line. Also discuss possible alternatives, such as reintroducing date nights or adding some new problems to your bedroom antics. If you still want to experiment with someone new, I recommend you do so. Keep checking on each other. Communication is key.

Jana Hocking shares advice on what to do if your partner wants an open relationship

I am married to a university professor (music). I am a corporate lawyer. We are both sapiosexuals. We have an ‘open marriage’ but only with other sapiosexuals, who must pass credentials with the other before continuing. It’s not easy… but it’s worth the extra effort, it makes it exciting.

Sapiosexual: someone who is aroused by the intelligence of others.

MY VERDICT: Seems like too much effort.