Home US SARAH VINE: Harry’s right. A crisis can unite families …but actions speak louder than words

SARAH VINE: Harry’s right. A crisis can unite families …but actions speak louder than words

by Jack
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For once, Prince Harry is right. He said his father's illness could have a reunifying effect on the family.

For once, Prince Harry is right. He has said his father’s illness could have a reunifying effect on the family.

From my point of view, this is 100 percent true. My family could rival the Windsors when it comes to dysfunction.

A lot of trauma, resentment and bad feelings, with repercussions that resonate from generation to generation: infidelities, fights, denial, depression, abandonment.

And yet, when my father (in many ways the focus of much of this) became seriously ill a few years ago, we recovered.

My brother and I, who, despite being very close as children, have had little contact over the past 30 years, have become, if not best friends, then definitely able to communicate and work together in a friendly and constructive.

While he was once the only person I’ve ever physically confronted, we now exchange gleeful WhatsApps and eye-rolling emojis as we navigate the challenges of caring for our grumpy, sick, almost comically ungrateful old bastard of a father. He still drives me crazy, but there’s no malice.

For once, Prince Harry is right. He said his father’s illness could have a reunifying effect on the family.

When you come from a family as fucked up as mine, it's comforting to know that not even the King of England is immune to such vicissitudes.

When you come from a family as fucked up as mine, it’s comforting to know that not even the King of England is immune to such vicissitudes.

The truth is that, perhaps a little like Harry, the stark reality of almost losing the old man made us realize that no matter how much we resented the way he had behaved when we were children, no matter how big of a mess he had done with things, No matter how badly he had treated our mother, he had shaped us as people and, whether we liked it or not, we were inextricably connected to him and to each other.

And that helping clean up the mess Dad seemed to have made of his (and our mother’s) life, as well as supporting him on his physical journey of recovery, was not only part of his healing process, but it was also part of the our.

At the risk of sounding too Pollyanna, I hope something comes out of this olive branch. If not now, soon. Before it is too late

At the risk of sounding too Pollyanna, I hope something comes out of this olive branch. If not now, soon. Before it is too late

There was, and still is, enormous benefit to be gained from facing the demons that tear families apart, from overcoming resentment, not only from offering forgiveness where it is not deserved, but also from going the extra mile.

When my friends compliment me for trying hard with my father for his behavior, I always correct them. Not selfless but selfish, actually. Because ultimately, the person who benefits the most is me: I get my little brother back, I see the smile on our mother’s face, I get to see glimpses of the old man before life turned sour.

These are all moments of joy, little nuggets of emotional gold far more beneficial to me (and by extension my own children) than the icy blanket of resentment.

When my parents leave this mortal coil (I hope not too soon) my family can close a toxic cycle that has haunted us for generations, since my grandfather went crazy in the jungles of Burma, since my grandmother was hospitalized for postpartum depression. and electroshock therapy was administered.

Parents don’t ruin you because they want to: they do it because they are repeating patterns of trauma in their own lives. You can perpetuate that cycle or try to end it. And to achieve this it is necessary to reach an agreement.

Many families are like that. That is why the soap opera Royal exerts such fascination. Their vulnerabilities, no matter how embarrassing, uncomfortable, or embarrassing, make them relatable.

When you come from a family as fucked up as mine, it’s comforting to know that not even the King of England is immune to such vicissitudes.

So Harry is right. These crises can and do have “reunifying effects” on families. But words are one thing and actions are quite another. Harry may say it, but does he mean it? Does he really understand what reunification entails? Based on his recent actions, no.

Calling your website Sussex.com and adopting the title conferred upon you by the late Queen as your children’s surname is not an act of reunification. It is a move that can only aggravate the feelings of frustration, resentment and anger between him and his family.

As for his offer to be willing to take on a temporary royal role while the King is indisposed, again, it’s not about helping his father, but rather helping Harry remind the world of their royal connection.

For things to work there have to be sacrifices. Altruism is a key element, as is the ability to admit where you were wrong. Acknowledging your own negative behavior and apologizing for it is an important starting point, one that Harry doesn’t seem to be on.

Words are not enough; You must show that you mean it. You must also understand that sometimes it is not about you but about the greater good of the family.

At the risk of sounding too Pollyanna, I hope something comes out of this olive branch. If not now, soon. Before it is too late.

I don’t know why everyone is so hysterical about plans to hire foreign dentists. I have only had one English dentist and he was a butcher. The rest have been Italian, Asian or, like my current dentist, Mr. Marwa, from the Middle East. There’s a reason why having “English teeth” is considered a joke…

The breast milk theory is crazy

According to Sussex University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, breast milk is now called “human milk” and can be produced by both men and women, although in the case of the former it must be induced by drugs and is a weak sauce in comparison with the real thing.

When women like me talk about the invasion and appropriation of our safe spaces, it is not just in areas where the presence of biological men endangers vulnerable women, or where it robs them of their achievements, for example in sports.

It is situations like these, in which our identities are eroded to satisfy the desires of a minority. Worse yet, what’s really scary is the idea that, to support this crazy theory, babies should be fed this stuff. There is only one word for such dystopian behavior: eugenics.

Another Saturday, another pro-Palestine march. What bothers me about some protesters is the fact that they don’t know how to spell. A woman was arrested for carrying a sign that said “Long live the intifada.” I’m sure that’s not how you spell “peace.”

Another Saturday, another pro-Palestine march. What bothers me about some protesters is the fact that they don't know how to spell

Another Saturday, another pro-Palestine march. What bothers me about some protesters is the fact that they don’t know how to spell

The ‘sleepy’ Joe Biden continues to demonstrate his inability as president; Hillary Clinton is now concerned about his cognitive ability. The death of Putin critic Alexei Navalny is a reminder of what is at stake. In 2021, Biden said there would be “devastating consequences” if Navalny died in prison. I wonder: Does Biden now remember who Navalny was?

My favorite store no longer

In my opinion, John Lewis has always been synonymous with motherhood. While I was pregnant, I looked for her strollers and cribs. I bought a lot of my baby and nursery equipment there, and looked after my children at Peter Jones.

Weekends always included a visit to the toy department. So finding out that John Lewis now offers advice to parents on how to bind their daughters’ breasts feels like the ultimate betrayal. I have been a loyal customer my entire life. Unfortunately not anymore.

Everyone tells me I should watch One Day on Netflix, which of course means I won’t.

Now I'm in my Griselda Blanco era (played in the Netflix drama Griselda by Sofía Vergara)

Now I’m in my Griselda Blanco era (played in the Netflix drama Griselda by Sofía Vergara)

Plus, I don’t get depressed about men anymore. Now I’m in my Griselda Blanco era (played in Sofía Vergara’s Netflix drama Griselda, above).

It is estimated that delays in the diagnosis of skin cancer due to lockdowns have caused the loss of 12,000 years of life. I had a dodgy mole a couple of years ago and after a lot of cajoling I got a referral from my GP. The hospital told me I could have an appointment within 18 months. That is one way to reduce the number of patients.

If, as reported, Ant McPartlin didn’t tell his ex that he and his new wife Anne-Marie were expecting a child, he’s sunk in my opinion. He was with Lisa, his first wife, for 23 years.

If, as reported, Ant McPartlin didn't tell his ex that he and his new wife Anne-Marie were expecting a child, he's sunk in my opinion.

If, as reported, Ant McPartlin didn’t tell his ex that he and his new wife Anne-Marie were expecting a child, he’s sunk in my opinion.

She supported him through his depression and drinking, and helped forge his television career. She gave him the best years of her life, the fertile ones, but they never had the child she longed for. The least she could have done was give him the kindness of a call.

Has London Mayor Sadiq Khan been chatting to Harry and Meghan? What else can explain his absurdly new names, at a cost of more than £6 million, for the London Overground lines? That sort of thing may be common in Montecito, but Londoners can spot a scam a mile away. Especially in an election year.

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