Life can be so cruel. As if the king with cancer wasn’t brutal enough, now this. The news that the Princess of Wales, aged just 42, is also battling this terrible disease is almost too much to bear.
Hasn’t the royal family suffered enough in recent years? Prince Philip and its great matriarch, Queen Elizabeth II, dead; the tragic and embittered departure of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex; the king fell ill so soon after the coronation, just as he was about to begin.
It has been one hammer blow after another. And yet it seems the fates are not yet done with the House of Windsor.
The Princess of Wales? It’s the cruelest twist of all.
Not only is Kate a woman in the prime of her life, she is also the mother of three young children
Her video message to the nation was stark in its simplicity and sincerity. Sitting on a garden bench and wearing a muted striped top and jeans, she looked a little pale but still managed to smile. A few times she dropped her gaze and a wave of sadness briefly crossed her face. Obviously, as she said, it’s been a tough few months.
How desperately unfair. Not only is she a woman in her prime, she leads an exemplary lifestyle. She should be the last person to face a serious illness at her age. But then cancer, let’s face it, respects nothing and no one.
She is also the mother of three young children: George, ten, Charlotte, eight, and Louis, five. They will be her top priority now: shielding them from the public reaction to her illness and assuring them of the most important thing of all—that Mom will be just fine.
Nothing is scarier for a child than seeing a parent sick. I have had friends who have been in similar situations – and the guilt and worry is intense. In particular, going through exhausting and debilitating treatment while putting on a brave face is incredibly hard. But that’s what you have to do, even when your stomach hurts and you can barely lift your head from the pillow.
Life must go on for the children of the Welsh in as normal a way as possible. A degree of seclusion is undoubtedly best for all of them now. As the princess said in her poignant video message: ‘It has taken us time to explain everything to George, Charlotte and Louis in a way that is appropriate for them and to reassure them that I will be fine.’
She looked so sad when she said those words, and so terribly frail. Poor children. It’s a lot to deal with for any child; given the additional pressures they face, these difficulties can only be doubled.
We should also spare a thought for William. Both his beloved father and his beloved wife are afflicted with the same disorder, and he can’t turn to his brother Harry for support – at least not as things stand at the moment.
Maybe that will change. But in the meantime, the two figures he relies on most for support and advice are both indisposed. And Grandma, who was always such a source of reassurance and wisdom, is gone. It must also be a deeply disturbing time for him.
She has always been exemplary in the performance of her royal duties, and since the death of the late Queen and the departure of the Sussexes, she has taken on more than her fair share.
But the person who needs the most care and attention is of course the princess. Like most women in her situation – a busy wife and mother with a demanding role of her own – I suspect she can take her foot off the pedal and let herself be taken care of by a challenge. Women like her are not necessarily used to putting their own needs first – but those around her who love her must insist.
My friends who have had access to the big C have had to learn to let go, to get used to the change of pace. And it’s not always easy, especially if you’re the kind of woman who, like the princess, demands the highest standards of herself. As challenging as treatment can be, it’s not always the physical side effects that are the hardest to deal with; the mental ones can also be significant.
For a woman as dynamic and active as Kate, it won’t be easy to stay still. There is something of the eternal head girl about her, always the first to raise her hand to volunteer, never one to shy away from responsibility. She has always been exemplary in the performance of her royal duties, and since the death of the late Queen and the departure of the Sussexes, she has taken on more than her fair share. She is such a dutiful, reliable person, she will no doubt be worried about letting everyone down.
But she must not. If there’s one thing the last few weeks have reinforced, it’s the sense that she’s held in high regard by the British public. In fact, I would go so far as to say they love her. It’s quite clear that in the 12 years she’s been married to William (and the nearly two decades she’s been in the public eye), she’s truly earned their respect. Unlike some others, she has never expected or demanded anything. She has simply worked hard and consistently, winning hearts and minds bit by bit.
That is why she is such a valuable asset to the royal family. She occupies a place between the late Princess Diana and the late Queen herself: a unique combination of the former’s beauty, glamor and warmth and the latter’s staunch sense of duty and strength of character.
This diagnosis is not only a blow to the royals as a family, but also to the institution itself, which has rarely seemed more vulnerable.
But she will get through this. As she said herself, the treatment is ‘preventive’, meaning that the cancer has been caught early. And she has all the help and support she needs, not only from her excellent medical team, but also, no doubt, from her own parents, the redoubtable Middletons and the King himself, who last night said he is ‘so proud ‘ of her.
In her video message, the princess said touchingly that Prince William had been a ‘great source of comfort and reassurance’. She has been his rock and anchor during their marriage; now he will be hers. I have no doubt that they will come closer to this crisis than before.
All the princess needs to do now is focus on giving herself the space and time she needs to fully recover. Indeed, if goodwill and loving wishes were a cure, she would already be better off. All our prayers are with her and her family.