After a week of relentlessly depressing headlines, finally some encouraging news—well, for overweight middle-aged white men, and for hams in general, that is.
Jeremy Clarkson has been voted the sexiest man in the UK and Ireland, beating the likes of Idris Elba and Cillian ‘Cheekbones’ Murphy.
Many have expressed their dismay, including myself. I’ve met Jeremy Clarkson several times and “sexy” is not the term that comes to mind. “Rude”, “loud” and “a little drunk” would be closer to reality.
Jeremy Clarkson has been voted the sexiest man in the UK and Ireland, beating the likes of Idris Elba and Cillian ‘Cheekbones’ Murphy.
One time we were at the same party and for some reason he mistook me for a waitress (possibly because I was helping the host with the cooking) and before I could say a word, he waved his empty wine glass at me demanding I refill it. , which I meekly provided.
Interestingly, my daughter was temping a few years ago and found herself waiting on Clarkson’s table at a corporate event. He was, remember, equally abrasive.
So maybe her attractiveness falters a bit up close, or maybe we were both immune to her charms. Still, at least from a distance you can’t deny that he has a certain arrogance. And women love a little swagger.
In a world of smooth-breasted, groomed baby boys who spend more time on skin care than most teenage girls and who wouldn’t know how to change a tire if their life depended on it, Clarkson is an old-school man, in The Meaning of the Word by Muddy Waters.
In fact, in many ways it is the acceptable face of toxic masculinity. The proof is what he said about the Duchess of Sussex in a newspaper column in 2022. He wrote that he was ‘dreaming of the day when (Meghan) is forced to parade naked through the streets of every city in Britain while the crowd chants: ‘Pity!’ and throws pieces of excrement at him.’
He later explained that he had been thinking about a scene from Game of Thrones, but had written the column in a hurry and forgot to mention the television series. (Even the libertine nature of that excuse is purely Clarkson.)
Still, it had provoked a furious response from those who, quite rightly, felt it had gone too far. A record 25,000 people complained to the newspaper industry regulator, which ruled the images were “humiliating and degrading towards the duchess”. Clarkson apologized and the newspaper removed the article from her website.
But if it had been anyone else, the matter would not have ended there, as it miraculously did. People have been canceled for much less, but somehow Clarkson has not only survived, but thrived. His Amazon Prime show Clarkson’s Farm destroys ratings. And with good reason: it is tremendously entertaining; He’s wildly entertaining, flaws and all.
It’s not just his personality, but also his ability to annoy the selfish and self-important, particularly the council planning committee that makes decisions about his Diddly Squat Farm.
However, there is also a kindness and generosity in Clarkson’s heart that shines through. And she never hesitates to take the mickey out of herself and her own absurdities, another commendable quality.
This same lack of shine and many imperfections make it attractive. It represents a subversiveness that is too lacking in modern life.
It’s similar to the way many Americans adore Donald Trump, despite his numerous misdemeanors and generally egregious behavior, and also to the enduring appeal of our former prime minister, Boris Johnson.
Chaotic, poorly dressed, shabby rogues, all of them, but strangely adorable. Their flaws are an element that makes them so attractive, perhaps in part because they reflect our own flaws, but also because there is a refreshing authenticity in a world of artifice.
And besides, let’s face it, they’re anything but boring.
People like Clarkson are the perfect antidote to the prevailing culture of humorlessness and unfriendliness, where no one ever says what they really think and we are all encouraged to agree that two plus two equals five, as long as Meets all requirements.
Jeremy Clarkson is a rare thing: an explosion of flesh and port-induced vigor against the anemic kale salad of life.
And I’m afraid that’s why women find him sexy and why they would ultimately rather go on a date with someone who looks like he spent a week living in a badger with a grizzly bear than with the little guy and Brilliant Tom. Holland with its perfect six-pack.
OUR nation’s supposedly brightest young minds support Hamas: two in three students at Russell Group universities say they do not consider the 7 October massacre an act of terror and almost four in ten see it as “a “understandable act of resistance.” It is disconcerting how they defend a anti-Semitic death cult linked to Iran (a misogynistic and homophobic regime that tortures and kills its people) instead of lamenting the kidnapping, rape and torture of young people like them. But this is what happens when you get all your news from the BBC and TikTok.
My fears for Fiona
The Netflix drama Baby Reindeer, with its protagonist Martha (played by Jessica Gunning, right) later revealed by online sleuths to be a woman called Fiona Harvey, worries me deeply. It’s clear that Fiona is not at all ready to be the center of attention. She reminds me of Susan Boyle, another vulnerable and slightly childish Scottish woman who struggled with fame after success on Britain’s Got Talent. I hope Fiona has sensible people around her.
The central protagonist of the Netflix drama Baby Reindeer, Martha, has been discovered by online sleuths as a woman named Fiona Harvey.
I feel sorry for Ant McPartlin’s ex-wife. Her marriage never produced children and now, at 47, it is unlikely that she will ever be a mother. His ex, however, just had a baby with his new wife and won’t stop talking about it on social media. Yes, he is cause for celebration, but think about the woman who provided the best and most fertile years of her life.
There’s no need to be so direct, Eva.
I am NOT convinced of the trend of necklines touching the navel. For anyone with a flat chest, like Emma Stone, they look quite strange, and for those with a fuller bust, like Eva Longoria, left, it’s all a bit, well, in your face. In no way particularly flattering or sexy.
Eva Longoria opted for a revealing cleavage on the Kinds of Kindness red carpet in Cannes
Old CCTV footage has emerged of P Diddy (aka Sean Combs) allegedly attacking his then-girlfriend Cassie Ventura. He is seen slapping her, throwing her across the floor before kicking her to the ground and dragging her down a hotel hallway. The rapper can’t be prosecuted because it was eight years ago, but there’s a special place in hell for motherfuckers like him.
The rent cap plan is a fantasy
With Labour’s promised tax on private schools already driving parents away from the independent sector (and costing taxpayers an estimated £22 million for extra state school places this academic year alone), the shadow chancellor Rachel Reeves has not ruled out another excellent idea: empowering councils to limit rents. This was tried in Scotland but simply led to the owners selling up.
The result would likely be similar in England, with fewer affordable rental properties. This sounds like the worst kind of fancy Labor maths ever.