rewrite this title I’m still breastfeeding my three-year-old son – some friends and family think I’m bringing him up wrong, but I’ll keep going even when he starts school

A mother has been branded “vile and incestuous” for breastfeeding her three-year-old son – but she vows to continue even when he starts school.

Martina Darling, from Stowmarket, Suffolk, said she faced harsh judgment from strangers online who misled her about breastfeeding her baby Winston.

And the 36-year-old is also facing raised eyebrows from some friends and family who are asking her to stop — or at least not feed it publicly.

But Martina said it would be “traumatic” for her and her son, who turns four in January, to suddenly stop breastfeeding and says breastfeeding has helped strengthen their mother-baby bond.

The business owner, married to Tom Darling, 32, even plans to continue breastfeeding when Winston starts school.

Martina, who is married to Tom Darling, 32, said she plans to breastfeed their son Winstone even when he starts school.

Martina said: “When I started posting about it online, especially on TikTok, I received a lot of abuse. There was a lot of negative feedback from people.

“I feel like I was personally attacked. People questioned my parenting choices. I probably cried for about a week.

“A lot of people were saying I was doing it for attention and it’s incestuous and vile, I find it quite hurtful.

“I expected full support from people I knew and loved and I didn’t get it.

“Breastfeeding is one of my parental values. This is what I believe as a parent and knowing that some friends and family members don’t agree with the way I am raising my child is truly lonely and hurtful.

“My relationships have changed because of this. They say I shouldn’t do it and don’t agree with that. They think I’m raising my child badly.

“A lot of people don’t understand and are very quick to judge if they haven’t been in this situation.

“It has nothing to do with anyone other than us.

“Breastfeeding is my parenting values, it’s what I believe as a parent and knowing that some friends and family members don’t agree with the way I’m raising my child is really lonely and hurtful “, said Martina.

But Martina said it would be “traumatic” for her and her son, who turns four in January, to suddenly stop breastfeeding and says breastfeeding has helped strengthen their mother-baby bond.

The business owner says she even plans to continue breastfeeding when Winston starts school.

“People tell me to stop but he knows exactly what he wants. It would be a real trauma for me and for him to stop.

“It’s his only comfort, he doesn’t have a stuffed toy or a pacifier. All he’s known his whole life is food.

“It would be really painful if I just had to take him away and it wouldn’t be good for my anatomy either.”

Martina said she entered the maternity ward with an “open” mind about whether to breastfeed or bottle feed Winston.

But after a difficult first few months, she began to experience a deep connection while breastfeeding and noticed the benefits both financial and emotional.

Martina explained: “I had Winston in January 2020 and I went into maternity with a pretty open mind, I didn’t mind if I breastfed or bottle fed.

“As soon as he came out, he spent two hours nursing, which made me think, ‘I’m going to try breastfeeding.’

“It was really difficult to go through three months. It was really painful but I kept going and then something clicked and it got easier and I never looked back from that point on.

The main reason behind the mother’s decision to continue breastfeeding Winston is to nourish their bond rather than giving him milk.

“I felt all the benefits of breastfeeding. It was very convenient and it was much cheaper.

“There’s a lot of research that indicates it helps with brain development, even at the age he’s at now.”

Martina started receiving negative comments about breastfeeding when Winston was around 18 months old.

She felt pressure to stop breastfeeding publicly and keep Winston’s eating habits a secret to avoid embarrassment.

The mum said: “When he was between 18 months and two years old, people said: ‘You shouldn’t feed him, he’s way too big.’

“Friends and family didn’t really tell me they weren’t okay with it until he was about two years old.

“There was a bit of pressure because I was feeding in public, so it was quite visible. I was quite happy to feed myself.

“Friends and family said. “It’s good but you shouldn’t tell everyone about it, don’t do it in public” and I thought: “Why not?”.

“Why shouldn’t I tell people? It’s my decision. People feel like it’s a taboo subject and that it’s not normal.

“People don’t talk about it and shy away from it and I think that’s wrong. I’m not afraid to be open about my little one’s diet.

“In the beginning, people keep talking about breastfeeding and its benefits, it’s a total conflict.”

The main reason behind Martina’s decision to continue breastfeeding Winston is to nourish their bond rather than giving him milk.

Martina, pictured with her husband and son, said she felt pressure to stop breastfeeding publicly and keep Winston’s eating habits a secret to avoid embarrassment.

Martina hopes sharing her story will encourage other mums not to feel ashamed about breastfeeding their child in the future.

Winston feeds three to six times a day and there are no immediate plans to stop.

Martina explained: “Even though I feed him now, it’s not for the milk, it’s for the comfort. It’s all he’s known his whole life.

“I felt like I had an asset to resolve any situation. We would be in a group of toddlers and other kids would have tantrums, but I could just give him milk and everything would be perfectly fine.

“There are no immediate plans to stop.

“Obviously when he’s at school he’ll be away from me all day, so we’ll probably feed him in the morning and at bedtime and it will slowly decrease.

“I didn’t think I was still going to feed myself now, I’ve just been very open-minded and gone with the flow.”

“It’s what we both wanted to do, I love the connection and so does he.

“I’m really led by him. I will probably cry a lot the day he says he doesn’t want it, I’m just enjoying the time we have. I am very aware that this could end any day.

“I don’t want to take it for granted.”

Martina hopes sharing her story will encourage other mothers not to feel ashamed about breastfeeding their child in the future.

“I wanted people to know that it’s okay to feed your child until you want to stop feeding them or your child wants to stop,” the 36-year-old explained.

She continued: “I wanted to help people – that was my intention in embarking on my breastfeeding journey.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a mom, it’s not to judge another mom for their parenting decisions.

“Everyone is doing their best to survive each day.”