Revealed the bewildering language of modern lonely hearts and the women who know what it all means

Jemma Prittie, 43, living in London, was a victim of cohabitation after retiring with her partner after a month

Jemma Prittie, 43, living in London, was a victim of cohabitation after retiring with her partner after a month

Jemma Prittie, 43, living in London, was a victim of cohabitation after retiring with her partner after a month

You may have heard of & # 39; ghosting & # 39 ;. It is a dating term that has been devised to describe what happens when a person disappears from another person's life by abruptly stopping communication.

But would you know if you were scrooged or breaded? Or is it time to go FBO?

It may sound like something that millennials do not have to worry about. But because online dating is becoming widespread in all ages, its language affects every generation.

If you are new to the dating game, you need to be familiar with the jargon – and here the experts help to compile a glossary of terms from all the terms you encounter.

So what is a kitten fish, and a job, and why should you do DTR if you discover that someone is fooling you?

Four women tell the Mail on Sunday about their experiences …

Jemma Prittie, 43, runs wild dolphin retreats in Hawaii and lives in London

A few years ago I worked as an events organizer and met a man who came to one of my events.

We could make up for it and went on our first date a few days later. He lived with a friend in a flat and his lease was about to expire, while I just wanted to rent a two-bedroom apartment in London. He was the one who drove that he would move in with me.

I really liked him and although I knew it was too early, I think that if you're older, you accept things go faster and you want it to be okay.

So a month after we met, he went to live with me. My friends thought I was crazy, but I wanted to try and make things work. And to begin with, they did that. But after six months the cracks were clear. He did not pull his weight – I paid all bills.

A year after we met, I finished it. Yes, I wanted things to work, but not at all costs.

Rachel Stone, 22, lives in Bristol and works in PR

Rachel Stone, 22, lives in Bristol, you were turned around by her partner after they went to Berlin and she had planned a party for him

Rachel Stone, 22, lives in Bristol, you were turned around by her partner after they went to Berlin and she had planned a party for him

Rachel Stone, 22, lives in Bristol, you were turned around by her partner after they went to Berlin and she had planned a party for him

In November last year I met a man at Tinder. We had a few days before our first date and there was chemistry. Within two weeks we had been on three dates and he said he wanted us to be a friend and a friend.

I was happy because I really liked him and within a month we planned a city trip together and he had introduced me to his family and friends.

Things were very intense but I was happy. I organized a party for his birthday in February and a month later we went to Berlin for my birthday.

We were committed to each other. But in June he came to my house and told me that he no longer felt the same, he did not love me anymore, it did not work and he wanted to part.

It was a cover that I did not see coming. There was no discussion about it. He took all his stuff from my house, followed me on social media and I have not heard from him since.

Claire Cazier, 50, is a project developer from London

I was dating online and looking for a man around my own age when I was contacted by a man who sounded interesting. He said he was 51, and looked good for his age on the photos. I know that some men retain their natural hair color, and that is why I had no reason to suspect him.

We talked back and forth and agreed to have a drink. When I walked into the bar, I saw a young man who looked a bit like my date and I assumed my date had his son with him.

Claire Cazier, 50, was puma hunted by a man who said he was 51, but turned out to be 27

Claire Cazier, 50, was puma hunted by a man who said he was 51, but turned out to be 27

Claire Cazier, 50, was puma hunted by a man who said he was 51, but turned out to be 27

He did not – the man who told me he was 51 was actually 27. He had managed to find a picture that made him look older than he really was.

He told me that he loved older women, but found that when he told his real age to women they were not interested, so he hoped to meet them online and develop a relationship before revealing the truth.

He was pretty prosperous, an architect who had graduated from Cambridge and lived in Chelsea. Although it was very flattering, I did not stay for that drink.

Rayah Harley, 31, lives in Chichester, West Sussex and works online

I am looking for men at this time of the year. The most recent one was a few days ago, but I've probably done the same for the past three or four Christmas days.

Rayah Harley (31) said she scans men at this time of the year, meaning she does not have to buy a Christmas gift

Rayah Harley (31) said she scans men at this time of the year, meaning she does not have to buy a Christmas gift

Rayah Harley (31) said she scans men at this time of the year, meaning she does not have to buy a Christmas gift

It's not just that I do not want to buy a present for them, I think you're evaluating your relationship this time of year. It is a time of the year that is about family, thinking about what has been worked out in the year and what is not, and where you want to be in the new year – and who you want to be with.

You look at the person you are and think: & # 39; Do I really want to spend Christmas Day with you? & # 39; And, yes, I suppose: I want to put my hand in my pocket and buy a present for you? & # 39; the answer is no, well, you know what to do …

The man I last scanned was someone I met on Tinder who had been dating each other for a few months, seeing each other about three times a week, but it just did not work for me, so why would I take it off?

benching

When a footballer sits on the bench, they stay on the sidelines with the substitutes, but they get the hope that they can go on the field at a given moment. The same goes for romantic romance – when you get just enough attention to make you think that things are not completely over yet, but you are not the first choice of anyone.

bookmarking

Vague suggest to meet each other, but not to make a fixed plan. & # 39; You Friday free? & # 39; Is a bookmark.

breadcrumbing

Very similar to benching, breadcrumbing is when you get just enough information or affection to keep you interested, but not enough to feel that there is commitment. It happens when you do not like someone nice enough to be in a relationship, but you cut them because you prefer someone on the back burner than being single.

Caspering

Think of Casper, the friendly spirit? Caspering is friendly ghosting (when a partner disappears from your life without explanation). It ends a first date with the words & # 39; I liked to meet you, but I do not think we are a match & # 39; and then never contact the person again.

Cougar hunting

This is a fairly recent phenomenon, says Charly Lester, dating expert at Lumen, a dating app for over-50s (lumenapp.com). It is when older women specifically target younger men (who often lie about their age) because they are looking for a sweet corn – or an older partner who is less needy and will not seek children from them.

Online dating terms such as curving and Grande-ing are important for all generations to know

Online dating terms such as curving and Grande-ing are important for all generations to know

Online dating terms such as curving and Grande-ing are important for all generations to know

Cohabidating

Connect your new partner before you are ready to relieve financial stress.

cuffing

Often used as part of the term "cuff season", which defines the period, usually during the colder winter months, when singles who are normally quite satisfied with their only status, decide that they want to be paired (or tied up, or handcuffed). More prosaic, Christmas parties offer plenty of opportunity to maneuver, and finding a person to spend the rest of the winter on the couch.

curved

The way someone swerves to dump you by lowering you, but not making a direct rejection of it. The classic is the work-out: & # 39; Sorry, the work is crazy and I want to see you, but I'm just as busy now … & # 39;

DTR

With more and more people dating several times or seeing multiple partners at the same time, unless you've had the DTR chat – or Defined The Relationship – you can not assume that your relationship is exclusive and that they do not see other people.

FBO

If you have DTR & # 39; d, it might be time to use FBO (Facebook Official) – when you change your relationship on Facebook to & # 39; In a relationship & # 39 ;. That is serious.

Fire-Dooring

You know what a fire door is – it's a heavy door that hits your face. So fire door is when someone will contact you now and again, but if you send a message to them, or try to contact them in some way, they simply do not respond at all.

Grande-ing

Named after pop star Ariana Grande and her recent hit single Thank You, Next – which goes on to go further. Grande-ing is a personal party after a break-up. It is about recognizing what you have learned from ignoring the relationship and negativity as you continue with your life.

Insta edgestanding

Curate your Instagram feed with one person in mind – placing photos that appeal to your loved one or that they want to emphasize.

Kittenfishing

You may have heard of catfishing, where someone pretends to be someone they do not have on a website or in an app, using a fake profile or a fake image. Kittenfishing is when the recording is actually the person looking for a date, but the picture is very flattering, thanks to careful use of filters, or you look like a size 10 if you are actually closer to a 14.

Micro-cheating

It is cheating, but in a very small way. You did not kiss anyone, it was just a bit of a flirtation at the Christmas party at the office, or a somewhat coquettish text for a friend who did not look great when your partner saw it.

monkeying

When someone moves quickly from one relationship to another without much time in between, like a monkey swinging from tree to tree.

& # 39; This is usually a very masculine trait and not something that men are always honest about & # 39 ;, says Ezgi Ceren Isik, dating expert at the Once-app (getonce.com) who claims & # 39; the magic bring back to online dating & # 39 ;. & # 39; Our research has shown that this kind of lack of involvement is a big red flag for many women. Once it contains functionality that allows women to rate their data to warn other women with shadowy behavior. & # 39;

orbiting

You may no longer see each other, but certain people are in the habit of having a job. They will not send you a message, but they will like your photos on social media, so they are still circling around in your life without actually being in it.

To peel someone off

We can thank ITV reality show Love Island for this gem, which means to dump someone. Think of it as getting a custard tart in the face.

So: & how does it work with James? & # 39;

I do not know, he bit me away. & # 39;

Cake hunter

Originating from & # 39; subtracting someone & # 39 ;, is a tinker someone who does not intend to enter into a relationship, but looks for vulnerable people who are perceived as easier and low-maintenance and less likely to cause a problem if they fur must be out.

R-bombing

WhatsApp and other message apps can let you know if and when a message has been read and this can lead to abject paranoia. When someone reads your messages but does not reply, they are bombarded by you.

Scrooging

A seasonal occurrence. This is when someone completes a relationship shortly before the holidays, so they do not have to buy a gift. According to research from the long-established dating site eHarmony, men are more likely to be scrooge than women – 11 percent against seven percent.

Slow dating

Although we've become accustomed to quickly sweeping dating apps, research suggests a counter-reaction to it.

& # 39; Research from YouGov showed that 30 percent of Britons are sweeping and scrolling through an app & # 39; boring & tiring & # 39; finds, & # 39; says Once & # 39; s Ezgi Ceren Isik.

The alternative – what we might just & # 39; dating at a time & # 39; have mentioned – is slow dating & # 39 ;. Instead of seeing multiple partners at the same time, it's about spending time with one person and deciding if you might have a future before you move on.

stashing

When a person hides the existence of the person they go out with their friends, family and even social media.

submarining

This is when one person repeatedly deals with another, and then reappears before he disappears, and then reappears in the future, often when other options have dried up elsewhere.

Textationship

A romantic relationship that is exclusively based on texting and a partner instead of talking on the phone or meeting face-to-face. The rise of multi-dating and apps means that this is common – and makes it easy to have multiple textures that give the illusion of having a relationship, because there is someone you visit regularly, even though you may never have met them .

enthroned

Select your date to improve your social status, profile or reputation. The modern version of & # 39; dating & # 39; or & # 39; social climbing & # 39 ;.

Vulturing

When you are much more romantically interested in a particular person when you feel that their current relationship is about to separate, so that you can remain free to pick up the pieces.

U-turn

Falling about losing someone, but suddenly changing their mind for some reason.

Zombieing

When an ex-partner who ended a relationship by a few times later to show his or her significant other, he comes back from the dead. This is probably in the form of a form of social media interaction or an out-of-the-blue SMS message.

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