I wear headphones when my new baby cries and my wife hates it – but I have a good reason
- Dad wears headphones to block out baby’s crying
- He’s autistic and doesn’t want to be ‘overwhelmed’
Hundreds of people are slamming a new mum after she asked her husband to stop wearing headphones to drown out their crying baby.
The father explained that he had been diagnosed with autism and had to wear headphones to tend to his crying daughter so he wouldn’t be “overwhelmed”.
He said that while the noise canceling headphones don’t completely block out screaming, his wife “hates it” and asked him to stop.
The new mum says her husband should be able to cope with “everything” that parenthood entails.
“She also said it probably scared our daughter to see her dad with stuff on her head when she was most distressed,” he added.
The 33-year-old asked if he was wrong and a ‘bad father’ or if his wife was making an ‘unreasonable request’ in dismissing his disability.
New dad asked if he was wrong for wanting to wear headphones to drown out his three-month-old daughter’s crying despite his wife’s protests
The dad says he and his “incredible” wife of 30 years have a three-month-old child who “is a cold, happy little thing that makes our world shine” but, like most babies do, can cry, “sometimes a plot’.
“I’m diagnosed with autism and as a result I have some pretty severe sensory issues, especially around sound, and especially when I’m tired,” he wrote in a Reddit. job.
“I have noise canceling headphones which are a godsend so I started wearing them when I found her crying too overwhelming, especially when I get up at night with her.”
The father said he could still hear her crying softly while wearing the headphones and clarified that he did not put them on to ignore her sobs.
“It’s quite the opposite, I wear them so I can hold it without feeling overwhelmed,” he said.
Hundreds have sided with the man after he explained he had autism and had to wear headphones to care for his crying daughter so he wouldn’t be ‘overwhelmed’
“Most of the time she is a joy, I love our 2am feedings when it feels like no one else in the world is awake but us, enjoying the quiet and solitude. I love him so much.’
However, the mum wants to end the man’s headphones habit saying he should be able to deal with all the ‘bad things’ they ‘signed up’ for when becoming parents.
“(She said) it’s important not to block her crying so I can feel what our daughter is feeling,” the father wrote.
“What she said made a lot of sense, so I stopped wearing them and dealt with the resulting meltdowns afterwards.”
The man’s family agrees he should stop wearing headphones and he fears he will ‘overlook’ his daughter’s needs by not hearing her screams at full volume.
However, he has a friend who said it was an “unreasonable request” and that his needs with his disability “matter too”.
Hundreds of people were quick to voice their opinions and sided with the dad saying he had found the perfect solution to being able to care for his daughter when she is in distress without being ‘overstimulated’.
‘Why can’t you wear the headphones? There is nothing wrong with that. It’s really weird to say that the baby will have trouble with you by having it on his head when he’s in distress. The baby won’t know anyway!’ said a woman.
‘It’s crazy. What difference does it make? That’s like saying you have to hand wash diapers to experience the bad stuff,” a second added.
“You’re taking care of your baby, not just immediately, but long-term, making sure you don’t have sensory overload and autistic burnout. This would really impact your ability to co-parent! a third replied.
Others called the woman an ‘ableist’ for forbidding her husband to deal with his sensory issues as he sees fit, but the father was quick to defend her.
“For the most part she’s amazing with my autism, she can understand my needs even before I can put them into words and respond accordingly, but on that point she was wrong,” he replied.
