I have always kept an open mind when it comes to spirituality. What others confidently call ‘woo woo’, I try to keep a little more space for that. After all, we tend to accept that people have different religious beliefs, so I have a similar attitude towards spiritual beliefs.
Being of Indian descent, it helps that my culture is generally spiritual anyway, so I like to think I’m open-minded. I believe in the evil eye (what we call ‘nazar’), manifesting, not feeling well during the full moon, removing bad energy and seeing ‘coincidences’ as signs from the universe.
That said, tarot readings, psychics and fortune tellers always seemed like a step too far for me. I couldn’t get past the idea that someone has contact with those who have passed away, or can predict what your future holds.
When I was offered a psychic reading in early 2024, I was intrigued to find out what they would say – as long as they didn’t give me bad news. As the year came to a close, I decided to look back at what was said, and how much of it came true…
The Zoom session started with a few deep breaths as Susana, who cooperated The Wellness Foundryregulated our energy. I have to admit, I started out skeptical, especially since we were talking through a screen and not in person.
Shortly afterwards, Susana told me that she felt a slight chaos within me, where people saw one thing on the outside, but I felt different on the inside. She also said she felt I was being harsh on myself – which all rang true at the time. Although these are arguably quite general statements.
She then made contact with “the spirits,” who told her to advise me to “take it easy,” be compassionate toward myself, and try not to take on everything. Again, I’m sure this is true for many people, but I remember it hitting a nerve at the time because I felt like I was completely consumed by work and life. It’s actually something I’ve been actively working on (with the help of therapy) ever since.
Person talking in therapy
Susana went on to say that there was something ‘blocking’ me, that ‘time was a healer’ and that I had to ‘let go’ of this blockage in order to move forward. On reflection, that means some of what I was already dealing with in therapy at the time, and some of it means the bullying in my youth that I experienced and wrote about here.
Speaking of which, the part of the session that I felt most accurately predicted how my year would go was when Susana explained that she was seeing a change of agency for me. ‘You’ll be moving to another agency soon. And it doesn’t necessarily feel like you’re changing jobs, it just feels like there’s going to be a nice shakeup,” she said. ‘You tackle new things. Things I don’t think you’re involved in right now. The articles you’re writing now are quite light, and it feels like you’re going to do heavier work… it will expand your portfolio.”
She then went on to say that it might be political writing, which didn’t happen, but I ended up writing the above article about bullying and relationships which was published in December – my first for the print edition of YOU Magazine – which is the most personal piece that I have ever published.
In the piece I discuss vulnerability, and my fear of it. At the time I wrote it, I had completely forgotten that Susana had identified this in me. “Yes, it’s going to hurt, but you know what won’t hurt? “When you feel like you’re choking, it’s almost like you’re choking or you can’t say something,” she said. “Take it out, you’ll feel lighter.”
And without realizing it, that’s exactly what I did in the position.
Susana also said that my heart was being ‘stuck’ together, and that it had to tear and heal again. She said I had to learn to open my heart It felt like a nod to the therapy I was doing, which Susana knew nothing about. One of the things I had been working on was allowing romantic relationships into my life and not being so afraid of being hurt by them.
As she talked about love and relationships, Susana felt that someone was already around me – a ‘nice connection’. I remember mentally scrolling through all the men in my life that I had hooked up with, which could possibly be this excellent connection, but there was no one that came to mind – and there was no one that came to mind over the course of the year either. the light came.
She also added, “There’s a pool and you walk around the edges, you get your feet wet. There is a reluctance to go in too deep and too fast. And your energy is very careful. You’d rather have the person swim up to you and grab you and pull you through,” which has been my dating style thus far, and I may have experienced it during a summer “situation.”
We ended the session with some oracle cards and a color reading. A ‘horn blue’ color presented itself to me, reiterating the need for me to be gentle with myself and open up more, while also showing off my vibrancy. The purple represented me tapping into my intuition and inner strength. The last one was green, to represent the need to feel grounded and less chaotic.
Has my reading changed my life? No. Did everything go well? Also no. But only when I think about it can I realize that there was truth in much of what Susana told me. Even if parts of what she said felt generic, it was what I needed to hear at the time, and it was part of the huge journey I’ve been on this year to challenge myself and change for the better.