Had it not been for her recent facelift, which seems to have frozen her features, even Madonna would have raised a questioning eyebrow over her latest partner choice – the 6ft 4in, 17th boxer Josh Popper who is 35 years her junior.
Popper trains people to box in a New York gym and is said to have met the Like A Virgin star while coaching one of her children.
Well, Madonna, 64, is no virgin when it comes to seducing much, much younger men – Popper follows in the long line of hot toyboys with the superstar. In her defense, she says, “I didn’t choose to get into a relationship with a younger man. That just happened, that’s the romantic in me.’
Romance? Or the reckless idea that you are ageless and endlessly attractive to men half your age?
Before we make fun of her for this, let’s remember that no one raises an eyebrow when men date much younger women. Maybe Madonna has just turned the tables and is showing us that older, wealthier women can be catnip to aspiring young men.
If it weren’t for her recent facelift, which seems to have frozen her features, even Madonna would have raised a questioning eyebrow over her latest choice of partner – six-foot-tall, 17th boxer Josh Popper (pictured together) who is 35 years her junior.
But there’s a catch – and I know it as I’ve been there. After my marriage ended in my thirties, I was in a six-month relationship with someone half my age, whom I met at the office. It wasn’t until he confused Nelson Mandela with Mohammad Ali, sputtering in his defense that they were both “black guys fighting for freedom.”
Later, the handsome young Eastern European who fell in love with me – or rather my paycheck – contributed nothing, loved the heavy metal band Metallica, thought The Beatles were insects, and Bob Dylan’s Like A Rolling Stone was written by Mick Jagger.
The sad truth is that Madonna hasn’t yet realized – as I finally did – that a healthy relationship for middle-aged women is one with a man of the same age with shared experiences. Men who know that Dire Straits is not a conflict in the Middle East.
Pictures of her clutching her new toyboy Popper don’t make her look younger and more powerful, just a bit tragic and old. As Rod Stewart sang in his hit Maggie May, “The mornin’ sun when it’s in your face really shows your age, but don’t worry, you’re everything to me.” Until you are nothing to him.
The idea that you are as young as the man you feel is a myth. Toyboys are fun, Madonna, but they come at a price, not least for your dignity.
Pictures of her grabbing her toyboys don’t make her look younger and more powerful, just a bit tragic and old. Pictured: Madonna with ex-boyfriend Andrew Darnell
Harry’s mistake
It was reported that the King decided to evict Harry and Meghan from Frogmore Cottage after learning of his son’s attacks on Camilla in the book Spare.
That just goes to show how fat Harry is – Charles made it clear in 1999 when he first appeared in public with Camilla that she was ‘non-negotiable’ and would always be by his side.
After being thrown out of a women’s prison, double rapist trans woman Isla Bryson will be serving time in a men’s prison. The next thing we hear from her is when she complains that her human rights are being denied on her blonde wig, mascara and acrylic nails.
Westminster wars
Following the revelation of his private WhatsApp messages exposing misjudgments during Covid, an outraged Matt Hancock (pictured right) says he is “extremely disappointed” by the “massive betrayal and breach of trust”. Maybe now he knows how Martha – his dumped wife of 15 years – feels.
When Labor MP Betty Boothroyd became the first female Speaker of the House of Commons in 1992, her party claimed to have broken the glass ceiling for women in politics. Three decades later, no Labor Party leader has been a woman, while the Tories have had three female prime ministers.
Leveling Up secretary Michael Gove wants to punish parents of children who play truant by reducing their child support. What, making society’s most dysfunctional families even poorer and hungrier? I thought we had calmed down the evil Tory party.
Paula the fast worker
Some wonder if a new documentary about Paula Yates will be true to her intoxicating life. When asked how long it took her and INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence to “get started” after interviewing him on her Big Breakfast show, she giggled “five minutes” in the Green Room. That sounds pretty good – a cab driver who told me he picked the couple up from the Savoy Hotel said they had sex in the back of his cab within minutes!
Isabel Oakeshott is battling allegations of betrayal against Matt Hancock by publishing his WhatsApp messages, saying, “There are plenty of things I could say about his behavior that I’m not going to do, at least at this stage, because it wouldn’t be pretty.” .’ Isabel needs to be careful, her current partner’s ex-wife, Richard Tice, might have a thing or two to say about her that wouldn’t be nice.
Jude is on the hook
Prior to playing Captain Hook in Disney’s Peter Pan & Wendy, Jude Law says, “Part of childhood is the nightmares and fears we all have, and Hook embodies that.”
As a father of seven with four different mothers dividing his time between his respective families, Law may have caused his own children’s nightmares. Feed him to the crocodile!
Great to see Sheridan Smith getting critical acclaim for her one-woman show Shirley Valentine. Should we care about the trials of a middle-aged woman who questions her everyday life, her banal compromises, and her rebellion against them? Only a man would ask that question.
The spy who screwed up
The head of MI5, Ken McCallum (pictured right), apologizes for missing opportunities that could have prevented Manchester Arena bomber Salman Abedi from killing 22 pop fans.
He’s a photofit for James Bond’s Q, the geeky inventor of weird 007 gadgets, played by Ben Whishaw.
The difference is that this is about real lives while Bond is fiction.
Following upbeat reports that Jeremy Clarkson had been fired from the next Who Wants To be A Millionaire series, ITV has made it clear that ‘Clarkson has not been cancelled’. Why should he be, given the extra millions of viewers he’s gained since taking over that tired old show?
A Worcester high school has covered mirrors in its girls’ toilets with posters warning that wearing makeup is akin to addiction, adding that boys would go for “natural beauty.” Tell that to Cleopatra, lover of the Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, who never appeared in public without a blow.
Let’s see justice for Auriol
Disabled and visually impaired Auriol Gray (pictured right) protested a cyclist riding on the sidewalk, causing her to fall into the path of a passing car.
A terrible tragedy, yes. But Gray got three years for manslaughter, even though the law states that sidewalks are for pedestrians and not cyclists, who now seem to think they control our streets and paths.
She will appeal her sentence and if there is any justice, she will win.
At the launch of his new album Subtract, Ed Sheeran reveals his mental health struggle, saying it’s “a trapdoor in my soul.” Yes, he’s had a rough year after his friend Jamal died, his wife had a tumor during pregnancy, and he had a lawsuit against him for a false claim of plagiarism. But isn’t it a little weird when your personal pain is used in this way to promote your latest disc?
My moggie Ted has just recovered from learning that during lockdowns ministers were considering killing all 11 million cats in the country for fear of cat-to-human transmission of Covid, even though there had only been one case worldwide.
Obvious cattism, he calls it, since the dog-loving Tories would never consider a mass culling of their beloved four-legged friends.
