It took ten seconds for the first Oscars winner last night to unleash an angry political statement against President Trump.
To be honest, I am only surprised that it took so long.
Hollywood despises Trump with a volcanic passion, despite many of its own guiding lights that represent exactly the same kind of ruthless, venal, self-glorifying, ambiguous, charlatan, narcissistic and hypocritical traits that they hate the most in him.
But shameless hypocrisy and a chronic lack of self-awareness nowadays seem to go hand in hand with being a movie star.
Brad Pitt, who had spent the entire prize season so far making light, fun, self-abhorring speeches, decided it was time to take us “very seriously.”
Brad Pitt, who had spent the entire prize season so far making light, fun, self-deleting speeches, decided it was time to be “very serious” at Sunday’s Oscars Awards
“They told me that I only had 45 seconds here,” he said when he received the award for best supporting role, “that’s 45 seconds more than the senate gave to John Bolton this week.”
While the almost exclusively liberal audience cheered, he added, “I think Quentin (Tarantino) is doing a film about it, and ultimately the adults are doing the right thing.”
Tarantino films always end with adults who do the wrong thing and kill each other in frenzied murderous massacres of extreme violence – including, and the irony is strong here, the one for which Mr. Pitt actually got his gong, Once Upon A Time in Hollywood.
Behind the scenes, Brad doubled his accusation of conviction: “I was really disappointed with this week,” he said. “And I think that if gaming does the right thing, it’s a sad day and I don’t think we should let it slip, and I mean that very seriously.”
I’m sure he is, I just didn’t want to hear it.
I always enjoyed Brad Pitt. He seems like a cool, cheerful man who appeals to a broad cross-section of people.
So why would they suddenly alienate half of such a pointless partisan political intervention?
To borrow his own words, it is a sad day and I mean that very seriously.
The boring descent from Brad to Trump bashing set the tone for what in many ways were the worst Oscars ever, a dismal 3-and-a-half-hour snooze festival made uncomfortable by the bewildering lack of a host for the second consecutive year.
The weirdest moment came when Eminem suddenly and inexplicably appeared on stage, to perform a song 18 years after he won an Oscar, but did not show up to accept it
He was rewarded for all that homophobic roar with a standing ovation from the Oscars crowd, most of whom have spent the last year loudly claiming their LGBTQ “alliance” credentials (the happy, smiling crowd watches his performance)
A good host is the glue for every award ceremony, keeps everything together and ensures a strong narrative night by reacting to things that happen in the same way that we all look at home.
If you don’t have a host, it all feels a little weird, especially if the producers fill the gap with endless music acts that make it look more like the Grammy.
The weirdest moment came when Eminem suddenly and inexplicably appeared on stage, to perform a song 18 years after he won an Oscar but did not show up to accept it.
My surprise quickly turned to bewilderment.
I thought the Academy had a zero tolerance policy for everyone who performed at the Oscars who used homophobic slogans?
That was, after all, why comedian Kevin Hart was hosted two years ago without mercy when he refused to apologize for gay jokes he had made almost ten years earlier – causing a media furore that directly led to the ridiculous abandonment of a not host at all.
But here Eminem was fiddling on stage, the same Eminem who used the f-word for the past 20 years, in various forms of “f * g and f * ggot”, in his rap lyrics.
And of course he was rewarded for all that homophobic roar with a standing ovation from the Oscars crowd, most of whom have spent the past year loudly proclaiming their LGBTQ “associate” references.
Even this did not grate as much as the most awake speech of the night, delivered by Joaquin Phoenix – a brilliant actor but increasingly a crushing acceptance speech.
Even according to his standards, last night’s tirade was not in the charts.
Even this did not grate as much as the most awake speech of the night, delivered by Joaquin Phoenix – a brilliant actor but increasingly carrying a crashing acceptance speech
‘STOP!’ He begged the audience when they roared his arrival on stage to receive his earned Best Actor prize. “I have thought a lot about some of these painful problems that we face together”
‘STOP!’ He begged the audience when they roared his arrival on stage to receive his earned Best Actor prize. “I have thought a lot about some of these painful problems that we face together.”
My heart sank.
The most disturbing of these problems, it turned out, were people who ate cow’s milk.
Phoenix, a vegan activist, looked almost in tears as he raged: “We feel entitled to fertilize a cow artificially and when she gives birth, we steal her baby, even though her cries of fear are unmistakable. And then we take her milk intended for her calf and we do it in our coffee and in our breakfast cereals. “
I burst out laughing when he said this.
Not, as he would no doubt believe, because I am a callous star who does not care about the plight of calves.
But because of all the things for an actor to tell the world about, the suppression of cows for their milk is perhaps the most absurd.
Joaquin seems very contradictory when it comes to his personal sacrifices for our greater good.
He admits that he is a terrible hypocrite in the area, using fuel-guzzling aircraft to fly to climate change marches, where he controls us over our carbon footprint.
However, to reduce his guilt, he wanted to point out that he had worn the entire Stella McCartney tuxedo all season to minimize waste and save the planet. Does he even realize how absurd this sounds for the vast majority of film-goers who can only afford one tuxedo in their entire lives, if they can afford one at all?
We have seen the same kind of laughably misguided virtue signage at this year’s show dinners awards, where organizers have loudly and proudly served ‘vegetable’ menus to a group of people who have traveled to the events with private jets, and then took long limousines to make the trip a miles from their hotels to bridge the locations.
Similar delusions got deep when documentary maker Julia Reichert, who won an Oscar for the Obama-approved American Factory movie, made a Marxist call for “workers of the world to unite” against income equality.
The theme of “preaching one thing, doing another” continued with Natalie Portman, who wore a cape with the names of all female directors who were not nominated for an Oscar
She was also welcomed by the very privileged mega-rich crowd, dressed in $ 100,000 dresses and dripping in equally expensive jewelry, all seemingly unaware of their own grotesque contribution to this very inequality.
The theme of “preaching one thing, doing another” continued with Natalie Portman, who wore a cape with the names of all female directors who were not nominated for an Oscar.
A nice gesture, but as someone on Twitter soon said, Portman’s own production company “handsome charlie movies” hired only one female director to make films – and that was Portman himself.
The theme of hard-fought women dominated procedures.
“All women are superheroes,” Sigourney Weaver roared indignantly.
But they are not.
With all due respect for my opposite sex, some women are terrible.
Just like some men, and I realize that this will shock and discourage radical feminists, they are good people.
The Oscars propagated this hyperbolic pro-women guff all night to mask the fact that it still does not practice what it preaches and had a list of only men for directors, despite the fact that many very good female directors did very well last year did work.
Just as it is about diversity, but still had an almost completely white nominated list in every acting category.
So, to make up for that terrible lack of diversity, the Academy ordered a procession of various artists such as Janelle Monae to proclaim: “We are celebrating all women who have directed phenomenal films!” And ‘I am proud to be here as a black, strange artist! “
It became desperate, an organization full of old white male dinosaurs on his voting membership who couldn’t care less about delivering diversity, but didn’t want to be accused of being sexist or racist.
Unfortunately, I suspect that Parasite has won the best photo.
The Academy can now point to a non-English-language film that wins the highest prize, and several dozens of jubilant Koreans celebrating wildly on stage while the show ends, saying, “There you go, DIVERSITY!”
But at least it threw that one really bright light of the night – Parasite’s brilliant charismatic director Bong Joon-Ho who said, “I’m damn ready to drink all night!”
Towards the end of the worst, oscars of all time, I shared his sentiment.