When Anne rejected Paul’s marriage proposal for the third time in 1975, the small business owner, then 43, vowed never to ask her again.
Anne, then 45, had been married before and simply didn’t see the point in doing it again.
Fortunately, his refusal did not affect their relationship at all and they lived happily as a couple, sharing a home, finances and their lives for the next 46 years.
In fact, the couple was so inseparable that neighbors and friends simply assumed they were married.
Cruel: Paul was kicked out of the house he had lived in for 35 years at the age of 89 after his long-term partner died and his children inherited the property.
Sadly, Anne died aged 91 in February 2021, leaving Paul living alone at the age of 89 in his three-bedroom bungalow in Kent. Then, just six months later, Paul received the shock of his life: a letter ordering him to leave his home.
“I thought it must be some kind of mistake,” Paul says today. ‘The letter was from a lawyer and said that I had to leave my house at the end of September. “I had lived in that house for 35 years and I was determined to stay there.”
However, Anne’s son and daughter, Toby and Lesley, now in their 60s, were the sole heirs to Anne’s estate and now owned the house, which had been placed in Anne’s name when she and Paul They bought it.
The brothers wanted to sell the property to inherit the cash value.
Paul had no choice but to leave his home and watch Anne’s precious belongings taken away.
He was also not entitled to a penny when the house he had lived in for three decades sold for more than £600,000 in late 2021.
With the help of his daughter Carole, who remortgaged their house, Paul was able to buy a two-bedroom apartment in a quiet retirement complex in the south-east of England.
Three years later, Paul doesn’t know where Anne’s ashes are, and sadly the only thing he has left of hers is a robe.
He says: ‘Anne and I always said we would be fine if one of us died because we would always have a roof over our heads. We never thought this could happen; “She thought I could stay at the house.”
For this reason, Anne did not express her wishes in her will. When the will was read to Paul, there was no mention of the property.
Paul’s experience is a warning to couples who live together in old age but do not marry.
Cohabitation is now so common that only one in ten couples wait until they are married to live together. More than 6.8 million people in the UK are currently cohabiting, the highest level since records began in 1994.
Left out: Paul was not entitled to a penny when the house he had lived in for three decades sold for more than £600,000 in late 2021.
But few are aware of how precarious their future finances will be if they never make their relationship official in the eyes of the law.
If a cohabiting couple dies and did not make a will, the surviving partner has no automatic right to inherit anything from their estate.
However, nearly half of people believe that cohabiting couples have the same legal rights as married couples in the event of death, according to a survey by law firm Stowe Family Law.
Contrary to widespread belief, the concept of common-law husband and wife does not in fact exist in law and, more importantly, does not give any rights to either party.
Whether a couple has lived together for one month or 30 years, there is no difference in the way their assets are divided in the event of an inheritance or in the event of a breakup. Cohabiting couples do not enjoy the same tax exemptions as married couples.
In Paul’s case, any money left would have been subject to inheritance tax at a rate of 40 percent. If he and Anne had been married, there would have been no charges.
Couples in civil partnerships receive the same legal rights and protections as those who are married.
A financial planning expert at wealth management company Rathbones says: ‘Unlike married couples or those in a civil partnership, there is no legal right to property that is not jointly owned.
“If you have children together, this could mean your partner is at risk of not being able to stay in the family home or not having enough money to raise your children.”
Paul says he saw his entire life uprooted before he turned 90.
And he adds: “I was very depressed and I didn’t want to move, I didn’t want to continue.” A couple of months later I had a heart attack due to stress.’
But Paul discovered that he had no claim on the three-bedroom bungalow they had downsized to in the 1980s. Paul had run a successful shop and his finances were tied up in the business, so, to keep his risks separate, he only Anne’s name appeared in the property registry.
Paul says: ‘When you’re in love, you do everything together and you share everything. We never questioned it because I loved her and she loved me.
As Paul has learned, couples can live together for decades, sharing bills and even children.
But if the relationship breaks down or a partner dies, a person can be left with nothing. In some cases it doesn’t even matter if you paid the mortgage or down payment.
Contrary to widespread belief, the concept of common-law partnership does not exist in law and, more importantly, does not grant any rights to either party.
If the house is in one person’s name because they already owned it when the relationship began or have since purchased it with their own money, this can result in the beneficiaries of the deceased’s estate kicking one of the partners out of their family home.
You will have more rights if you are listed as a co-owner of the home. If they are ‘co-owners’, they have equal rights to the property, regardless of who paid more. And upon the death of one of the partners, their share in the property will pass to the survivor.
If held as “tenancy in common”, each tenant can own a different share of the property.
For example, if a partner puts down 40 percent of the deposit on the house and pays 40 percent of the mortgage, their share will be 40 percent of the price of the house, whether it goes up or down. However, this must be clearly stated in writing.
There is one exception. When Paul first received the eviction notice in 2021, his lawyer told him he had the opportunity to claim a “charitable interest” if he had proof that he had supported Anne in some way or had paid for the house.
This could include old utility bills, receipts for major home work, or mortgage payments. But Paul and Anne paid for the house in cash, so over the years there was little paper trail.
Paul says: ‘I told (the lawyer) he must be joking. I paid for all the outings, all the birthday celebrations, and all the vacations. But do you think I’ve saved restaurant receipts or energy bills from 40 years ago?
“I couldn’t prove it so my solicitor told me I could take Toby and Lesley to court but I would lose and it could cost more than £40,000.”
‘We all got along as a family for 50 years. My son and daughter played with them in the garden, in the paddling pool, when they were four years old. I’ve known them all my life.
‘My daughter Carole, who had grown up with Lesley, was distressed when she was told that if she wanted to speak to any of them she would have to do so through a solicitor.
‘When I went to see Toby to see how he was coping with his mother’s death, he didn’t invite me into the house and I haven’t spoken to him since. He did not even attend Anne’s wake and will only speak through a lawyer.
‘Children can change like this: one moment they can love you and the next they can hate you. But I never expected it.
In a further cruel twist, Paul sells his business for around £300,000, with Toby and Lesley claiming half of the profits. This is because Anne was also listed as the owner of the company on Companies House.
He says: ‘Anne and I were in love and we both trusted each other. But at 92 years old, I wake up bitter every morning. To the rest I say: learn from me and, for the love of God, get married if you live together.
- All names have been changed.
j.beard@dailymail.co.uk
Some links in this article may be affiliate links. If you click on them, we may earn a small commission. That helps us fund This Is Money and keep it free to use. We do not write articles to promote products. We do not allow any commercial relationship to affect our editorial independence.