Titanique (Criterion Theatre, London)
Celine Dion’s siren song is very big. The teeth-loosening vibrato and enamel-melting schmaltz of the queen of power ballads could even pose a danger to shipping.
But don’t let that stop you from booking your ticket to this musical parody of James Cameron’s 1997 blockbuster, Titanic.
Celine’s stunning Welsh doppelganger, Lauren Drew, hijacks a guided tour at the sunken ship’s visitor center to tell the “true” (as in delusional) story of how she survived the famous shipwreck.
Driven by Celine’s best melodies, what follows is 100 minutes of cast-iron oceanic hysteria in the high Cs.
We also learn that the heart-shaped diamond given to Kate Winslet’s character, Rose, is not from Asprey & Garrard but from Claire; her mother’s pearls came from TK Maxx; and her millionaire fiancé has a donut wall on Pinterest.
Sharing her own sparkly ball fantasies, Drew’s sinuous and athletic Celine wears a wig of cascading blonde curls and a sequin split-to-the-top dress, as she excitedly jumps between the actors as she tells her side of the story.
Celine’s stunning Welsh doppelganger Lauren Drew hijacks a guided tour of the sunken ship’s visitor center to tell the “true” (and delusional) story of how she survived the famous shipwreck.
Kat Ronney almost steals the show from under Celine’s nostrils with a glorious turn as Rose.
Drew not only has the larynx for the singer’s lungbusters (including the climactic My Heart Will Go On), but she also sings with Celine’s strange French-Canadian accent.
And yet, Kat Ronney almost steals the show from under Celine’s nostrils with a glorious turn as Rose.
Ronney is a sensational actress, with big believing eyes, a huge warble in songs like To Love You More and deliciously lascivious instincts in her steamy sex scene Because You Loved Me (with a plastic eggplant).
Rob Houchen, as her lover Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio’s role in the film), is introduced as a randy opportunist, before being handcuffed for stealing the diamond and sent “down to Dua Lipa.”
This is one of the most joyful performances I’ve seen in the West End, with each actor looking at the audience to check that they are watching too.
The company joins in like galley slaves, whether it’s Jordan Luke Gage’s millionaire Cal and his falsetto in left field, or Layton Williams’ icy drag queen Tina Turner announcing the sinking of the Titanic with: “I’m the iceberg, bitch “. !’, triggering a RuPaul-style drag race.
The main audience for Richard J. Hinds’ scandalous production may be Celine nuts, Titanic boffins, bachelorette parties and drag parties.
But if you ask me, it has the mass appeal of running for months, even years. Titanic? It’s fantastic!
The Lightning Thief (The Other Palace Theatre, London)
Based on the first of Rick Riordan’s children’s novels, The Lightning Thief is basically Greek mythology revitalized as a high school musical, with a touch of the kindergarten adventures of Dora The Explorer.
Without worrying about the CGI of the 2010 film, it’s a homemade geek-fest in which our demigod (half-man, half-god) hero, Percy Jackson, has to recover Zeus’s lost lightning bolt from the underworld.
Diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia, the misfit Percy is accompanied on his quest, like Dora on her missions, by trusted friends: Grover (the chosen successor of the god Pan and friend of the squirrels) and Annabeth (daughter of the goddess Athena and ego killer). .
And, like Dora, Percy has a very important backpack containing specialized tokens (a magic pen, a seashell, and bus tickets).
The fun of Joe Tracz and Rob Rokicki’s soft rock musical lies in its inventive staging and storytelling.
Based on the first of Rick Riordan’s children’s novels, The Lightning Thief is basically Greek mythology revitalized as a high school musical, with a touch of the kindergarten adventures of Dora The Explorer.
Without worrying about the CGI of the 2010 film, it’s a homemade geek-fest in which our demigod (half-man, half-god) hero, Percy Jackson, has to recover Zeus’s lost lightning bolt from the underworld.
Diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia, the misfit Percy is accompanied on his quest, like Dora on her missions, by trusted friends: Grover (the chosen successor of the god Pan and friend of the squirrels) and Annabeth (daughter of the goddess Athena and ego killer).
Best lyric: ‘Things couldn’t be worse, when your parents run the universe.’
In the rusty dystopian set, grunge costumes are complemented by animal legs for the half-animal characters, plus moments of rock god couture, as human, equine and immortal identities shift and collide.
Heroically, Morgan Gregory replaced an indisposed Max Harwood on the night I was there, and proved to be a very capable and motivated singer as Percy.
Also fun were Scott Folan’s goofy Grover and Jessica Lee’s feisty Annabeth. But it’s a team effort, concerned with issues of friendship and teen self-esteem.
Older guests may prefer to book for their teenage children and enjoy a super-powerful night out at the pub next door.
Titanique will run until March 30; The Lightning Thief until August 31.