Parents have candidly revealed why they wouldn’t have children if they could go back in time.
Go to the anonymous parenting platform mumsnet, a curious person asked others if, knowing what they now knew, they would have the same child, or decide to become a parent.
They wrote, “I feel it can be a taboo topic and often lead to unrealistic parenting expectations. As a witch sitter I would like to hear everyone’s opinion.’
And the question sparked quite a debate — with some parents saying they regret having kids because they “were older” and they’re “super jealous” of their childfree friends’ lifestyles, while others said they’re living their lives couldn’t imagine without their little ones.
British parents have gone to Mumsnet and admitted they wouldn’t have children if they could go back in time. Pictured, stock image
In the comment section, some exhausted parents across the country were adamant they wouldn’t have children if they could go back in time.
‘No, I wouldn’t. It’s only since becoming a mother that I realize what an absolutely shit show of a life we live in. It was fine when DS was younger, but he’s almost grown up now and it’s not pretty out there,” wrote one .
A second commented: ‘I love my children so much – they bring so much love and joy into my life. But – if I were reincarnated I would absolutely choose not to have children because the childfree couples I know have amazing lifestyles that I am super jealous of. I’d like to try that way of life.’
Meanwhile, a third added, “No. Never. Most importantly, of course, is “know what I know now”—at that time the biological urge and desire for a baby was incredibly strong—probably nature’s way of allowing women to have a child, and certainly more than one.’
One curious Mumsnet user commented, “I feel like it can be a taboo topic and can often lead to unrealistic parenting expectations. As a witch sitter I would like to hear everyone’s opinion’ (photo)
“But if I had known even a fraction of what it feels like (to me this is) to be a mother, I would never have had children.”
Elsewhere, some said they felt much older since they had children, while others admitted they would have waited much longer before getting pregnant.
“I feel like having kids has made me older,” one wrote. “You have to be a responsible adult when you have children, their needs have to come before yours, your days are planned around them, you can’t just be ‘you’ anymore.”
“I really miss the freedom to live my life without always having to consider someone else. It’s not a huge hassle… but it’s always there.’
A second commented: ‘I have often thought this and dared to say it aloud, but it was not well received. Of course I love them and they get more beautiful every day, but I don’t think I would, at least I would wait much longer to make sure it was what I wanted.’
Another wrote: ‘I don’t know. If it replaces my dearly beloved children with children, I would certainly consider a wonderful child-free life. Vacation, lots of free time, early retirement. Last night I dreamed that I was staring into a house of a childless couple and watching them on TV in the middle of the day without worry.’
Some parents admitted they thought they would be richer and happier without kids, and some were adamant they wouldn’t go for kids if they did it over.
Meanwhile, others revealed that they would still have children, but fewer than they actually had.
“Was on the fence too,” wrote one. “I had my son, love him, but most days are a drag. I would never have a second. Ever. And I’m lucky that he’s relatively easy going (now he slept badly until he was about 18 months).’
A second commented: ‘I would have children again, but only one. I get broody but then I remember how long it took to get to this point, how cranky I’ve felt most days and remind myself I’m a better mom for one than I would ever be for 2. ‘
However, some parents said that they would not change their lives even if given an option, and that they were perfectly happy with their family.
Other parents said they wouldn’t trade their kids for anything, even if they admitted it was hard work
“I have been a fence sitter for a long time, but I can honestly say that nothing has brought me more joy and happiness than my daughter. So no, I wouldn’t change it,” one wrote.
A second commented: ‘Yes, without hesitation. My oldest rescued me from the darkest time of my life. Both have brought me great joy; my life without children would be meaningless.’
“I wish I had more time and money when they were younger, and family around us.”
A third added: “I find most of motherhood/parenting absolutely soul-destroying and incredibly exhausting and hard-working, but I could never be without my DC. So on balance I probably wouldn’t change it.
“Although I might be happier if we didn’t have kids. Sometimes, though, they’re pink-tinged specs… because I’ve always been a pretty miserable person when I look back on them, haha,” they ventured.