NRL marriage bombshell: Benji Marshall’s wife Zoe reveals the former Wests Tigers star ‘GHOSTED her’
Benji Marshall’s wife Zoe has revealed the rugby league great ‘ghosted’ her twice at the start of their relationship – but she was able to win him back both times.
‘Ghosting’ is dating lingo for when someone ends a fling without offering the other person any explanation, simply disappearing from their life as if they were a ghost.
The retired NRL star, 37, made two attempts to call it quits because of his ‘avoidant’ personality, podcast host Zoe said during an Instagram Q&A on Monday.
Benji Marshall’s wife Zoe has revealed the rugby league great ‘ghosted’ her twice at the start of their relationship – but she was able to win him back both times. (The Marshalls are pictured at the Dally M Awards in Sydney on October 2, 2019)
But she was able to salvage the relationship because of her complementary romantic personality type: anxiously attached.
Zoe shared her personal experience after a follower asked her if ghosting always means ‘game over’ for a fledgling romance.
‘No way,’ she replied. ‘@benji6marshall ghosted me twice (avoidant). Lucky I’m anxiously attached.’
The retired NRL star, 37, made two attempts to call it quits because of his ‘avoidant’ personality, Zoe said during an Instagram Q&A on Monday. She shared her experience after a follower asked her if ghosting always means ‘game over’ for a fledgling romance
Attachment theory explained
All human beings tend to mirror one of the four attachment styles: Secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganised.
Attachment styles are formed in childhood when a child is bonding with its parents – and how the parents behave towards their children tends to shape what their future attachment style will look like.
Secure attachment style
Securely attached people have little trouble communicating with their partners. They don’t shy away from intimacy, but they are also comfortable on their own. They find it easier to form long-lasting and fulfilling relationships.
Typically, securely attached people have benefitted from warm parents who were consistent with affection in childhood. Around 50 per cent of the population have a secure attachment style.
Anxious attachment style
About 20 per cent of the population have an anxious attachment style. These people are often needier in romantic relationships and need more reassurance.
Anxiously attached people tend to have received inconsistent affection from their parents while growing up and they have a deep-rooted fear of rejection and abandonment.
Avoidant attachment style
On the opposite end of the spectrum, approximately 25 per cent of people have an avoidant attachment style.
Avoidants are much more likely to avoid intimacy altogether and keep other people at a distance. They are wary of closeness and can feel trapped by romantic relationships.
Disorganised attachment style
The remaining five per cent of the population have a disorganised attachment style – which means they are a combination of both anxious and avoidant.
People with this attachment style crave closeness but shun it at the same time. It usually stems from an abusive background where their parents were a source of fear.
According to attachment theory – a psychological theory that explains interpersonal relationships – about 20 per cent of the population have an anxious attachment style.
These people are often needier in romantic relationships and need more reassurance – so perhaps it was Zoe’s persistence that brought Benji back as he tried to withdraw.
By contrast, those with an avoidant attachment style tend to keep other people at a distance.
They are wary of closeness and can feel trapped by romantic relationships, which may explain Benji’s lack of commitment when he first met his future wife.
Zoe said she was able to salvage the relationship because of her complementary romantic personality type: anxiously attached
Zoe has been refreshingly honest about her marriage to Benji.
The TV presenter admitted last year, when she was pregnant with their daughter Ever, that they split up three times before getting married in 2013.
The blogger posted their first photo together on Instagram, and wrote: ‘Three break-ups later (ghosted me twice) and a heap of therapy over a decade, and we are on the brink of our next transition, a baby girl.’
The couple, who are also parents to son Benjamin Fox, born in 2018, are happier than ever these days and recently moved into a new $4.75million family home in Sydney.
The Marshalls, who are parents to son Benjamin Fox (pictured) and daughter Ever, married in Byron Bay in 2013. Zoe said last year they broke up three times before making it down the aisle