My bro-tastic taste in video games means that, in 15 years of writing about this stuff, I haven’t made the post where I crave a Japan-only release to come out west. That changes today No paper!, the game that turns a roll of john paper into a nintendo switch controller. It launched yesterday in Japan.
When Mike McWhertor first mentioned this game to me, I thought it was going to be some kind of Nintendo Labo hack (what happened to that?). No, although to play No paper! you will need a large piece of cardboard and a slightly to unused roll of Quilted Northern, sold separately. With that, and the motion sensors in a Joy-Con controller, you can play what looks like a rather demanding puzzle platformer.
Are you already giggling like a toddler? Wait until you see it this trailer:
That’s right, the goal is to get a roll of asspaper for a guy who’s in the mode with no roll. The Google-translated Nintendo product page reads (slightly edited for clarity): “There is a man who is in trouble because he has no toilet paper! You start from the ceiling of the bathroom and work your way up to the man. However, several traps await along the way!
You’d think checking the toilet roll holder would be a priority when there are saw blades, trap doors, and other dangers between you and the Charmin. This man needs to be in one Real hurry. Takuhiro Miyazawa’s downloadable game is available on Nintendo eShop for ¥600 (probably $5 if it gets here, as it should).