Today’s work life is full of ever-evolving challenges and pitfalls. When is it okay to date a coworker?
Can you tell your team to return to the office five days a week?
Whether you’re a bewildered Boomer, a confused millennial or a confused Gen Z-er, our brilliant new columnist Nicola Horlick is here to help.
She will use her four decades of experience in corporate life to guide you through the pitfalls and set you on the path to success in an atmosphere that is supportive, not a minefield. Read on for an exclusive preview.
After four decades in the workplace, Nicola Horlick has tackled many difficult issues. She will use her wealth of knowledge and experience to help you in her new bi-weekly column.
Dear Nicola,
After a very drunk industry awards dinner, I stupidly had a one-night stand with a man who works for a rival company in my industry.
Several months later, I got another job and, to my horror, when I arrived at my new office, he was there.
My new company has been on a hiring drive and they had hired him too. We’re both on a similar level so at least he’s not in charge of me.
I felt too embarrassed to talk to him and was dancing around the office trying to avoid him, but I saw him looking in my direction. I’m definitely not interested in him, so that’s not a problem, but I’m worried that he might start to bother me or think I’m interested in a repeat performance, which I’m not.
I was really excited about this job and it costs a lot more money, but now I feel bad every morning at the thought of having to deal with it. It’s so mortifying. I know you’ll say this is a lesson not to drink too much at work events and I’ve learned that lesson the hard way, but what should I do now? – Anonymous
Nicola Horlick replies: It is always better to face these types of problems head on. You should take the initiative and suggest that you and your colleague have coffee together. Tell him that you want to establish a good working relationship and that you both need to get over the one-night stand.
Nicola’s advice is to tackle an issue like this head-on: take the initiative and suggest that you and your colleague have a coffee together to sort things out.
If you are the one who has taken the first step to work things out, then you should be able to give him a clear signal that you want the relationship to be strictly professional from now on. Remember, he’s probably just as embarrassed as you are, and he’s probably relieved that you just want to forget about the drunken night and move on.
If that approach doesn’t work and you still feel uncomfortable, perhaps you can request a transfer to another department. However, I think this would be admitting defeat and you should be able to walk into the office with your head held high and move towards a healthy working relationship.
The main goal of working is to make money, but it should also be fun and if you really feel bad every morning thinking about going to the office because of the past history with your colleague, then you definitely have to do something about it. immediately.
You’re right to avoid drinking too much at work events. In fact, when I joined a prestigious city bank after leaving university, drinking was strictly prohibited and the founder of the bank always made it clear to all employees that any alcohol consumption at work would impair their judgment.
In those days, business lunches involved large amounts of alcohol: sherry on arrival, white wine as a starter, red wine as a main course, and liqueurs with coffee. Everyone could always spot my bank attendant because we were the ones strictly drinking water. It’s definitely better to limit drinking to outings with friends rather than colleagues.
I am absolutely convinced that you can clear things up and move on. Please write and tell me how it goes.