A man has been defended after he revealed he no longer finds his wife attractive after she had plastic surgery.
The unnamed man took to Reddit to share that he now ‘turns off the lights’ during sex and tries to avoid looking at her after she’s had ‘the fat sucked out of her face, lip fillers, a neck lift, other things’.
He explained that after she came back from the procedure, he was shocked to see her face change so drastically and no longer wanted her in a sexual way – prompting him to tell her, causing problems in their marriage and even getting his spouse to go out the door.
In a thread titled ‘Am I an A**hole,’ he asked if he was wrong to tell his wife that he was no longer attractive to her.
A man has been defended after he revealed he no longer finds his wife attractive after she had plastic surgery (stock image)
At the beginning of the post, he noted that his spouse was convinced to have the operation done by her mother and sister.
Despite disagreeing with them, his wife went ahead with the procedure.
The post read: ‘My wife recently had plastic surgery. We had discussed it and I was against it. It wasn’t my decision and in the end I had no say.
‘She looks strange now. She had the fat suctioned out of her face, lip fillers, a neck lift, other things I don’t really understand.
‘She’s giving me creepy valley vibes now. It scares me. She is fully healed now and she wants us back to normal. Like I initiate sex. I have, but not as much as I used to. And when I do, I try to make sure there is very little light.
‘It’s been a few months and I’m a bit scared to look at her. She has obviously noticed that. She’s been bugging me to tell her what’s going on. I’ve tried telling her I’m just tired of work. Or that I’ve crashed. Really anything but the truth.’
He noticed that his wife caught his behavior and was then certain that he was cheating on her.
She even demanded to go through his phone, which he let her, but she found it tied him to an affair because he doesn’t have one.
The unnamed man took to Reddit to share that he now ‘turns off the lights’ during sex and tries to avoid looking at her
Finally, the man decided to tell his wife about his feelings.
He explained: ‘She broke down and asked me if I was having an affair. I said I wasn’t. She asked to look at my phone. I unlocked it for her and handed it over. I wasn’t worried about her finding anything because there is nothing to find. She spent an hour looking through it and found nothing. She asked me to explain why I changed. I tried to explain that I just wasn’t that interested right now.
“Nothing I said was good enough for her. She kept digging. I finally told the truth. I wasn’t harsh or brutally honest. I just told her that her new face was not something I found attractive and that I was turned off. She asked if that’s why I’m turning off all the lights now. I said yes. She started crying and said she needed time alone. She went to live with her sister.’
After revealing the truth, his wife stormed out of the house, leaving him with some choice words.
He added: ‘I’ve been called every name in the book since this happened. Her sister said I’m a piece of shit for insulting my wife’s looks. Her friends all think I’m an a-hole.’
At the end of the post, he questioned whether he was wrong to tell the truth.
He added: ‘I wasn’t trying to say anything. I can’t force myself to find her attractive. I still love her but her face is just weird now.’
People online flooded the comments section and came to his defense.
One person said: ‘SHE. DID. ALL. OF. THIS. ….and still can’t manage to take any personal responsibility or act like an adult about it.’
People online flooded the comments section and came to his defense
Another user added: ‘NTA I think you handled the situation as well as you could but there is a difficult conversation you and her will have to have soon.’
Another wrote: ‘NTA. It’s not my thing and I’m very lucky it’s not my husband’s thing either. You discussed it, you voiced your concerns, she did it anyway, as was her right. But choices have consequences, and those are the consequences she actively chose, knowing how you felt. Freedom of choice does not mean freedom from consequences. She can’t pretend to be surprised by Pikachu now (well, I mean, I guess technically she could, but I’m not buying). And do her flying monkeys taunt you? Not cool.’
‘NTA, it’s not your fault you don’t find her new face attractive. It is not a choice of conscience. I’m all for people doing what they want with their bodies, but if they’re in a relationship and their partner states that they don’t like the body modification, then that person needs to remember that the risk of doing it will be their partner’s lack of attraction.
Now do I think you might want to make fun of what was wrong much earlier? Absolutely,’ another person wrote.
Another added: ‘NTA. Just like if she had gotten zombie face tattoos, she has the right to choose to go through such things, but she also has to accept the consequences.
‘You made your position clear beforehand, it’s not like you pushed her to get it and then backed off.’
Earlier, a man asked Jane Green for help after his wife was involved in a horrific car accident that left her with horrific injuries – and ultimately led to her leg being amputated.
He noted that she now had a prosthetic leg and was doing physiotherapy – adding that it has been a tough few years for them, especially for her, but she has been quite positive about her future and her ‘new normal’ as she calls it .
He then asked if he was a hole if he divorced her and walked away.
Jane noted that the man would not be wrong if he left her.
Another woman told Jane that her husband had turned her father’s body into a fitness freak and she was no longer attracted to him.
Jane encouraged her to start a journey to love herself.