First the WAI question! Who am I? Thanks for asking! I’m probably best known as the world’s leading WG (Wellness Guru), but I’m also known as the PRC (Personal Relaxation Consultant) to top WS’s (World Statesmen) such as Sir Gavin Williamson and Matt Hancock.
Do you suffer from AIS? Recent studies show that up to 83 percent of the AP (Adult Population) suffer from this very worrisome condition.
So what exactly is it? AIS stands for Acronym Incomprehension Syndrome – or, in layman’s terms, the inability to figure out what initials stand for.
Unfortunately, with so many hundreds of new acronyms introduced every year, AIS is on the rise. Within a year, many experts predict that it could become a WP (World Pandemic). Many AIS patients are unaware that they have the condition, or confuse it with something else. “When my counselor told me I had AIS, I was initially very excited,” said Ms Diplock of NSW, New South Wales. ‘After all, who wouldn’t want an Airborne Intercept System in these uncertain times?’
Nowadays, when she finds herself suffering from acute stress, Anna wears extra dark glasses over her first set of dark glasses, for extra safety
Mrs. Diplock was shocked to find out that she actually had the Acronym Incomprehension Syndrome, although she quickly got over it. Like many in her position, she finds ignorance a great comfort. “If I have AIS I don’t worry because luckily I don’t know what it means,” she says.
Of those who suffer from AIS, between 64 percent and 77 percent also suffer from PBD, or Percent Blindness Disorder – a condition in which 49 percent of those affected struggle to get to 69 percent of the rates for them 31 percent of the time.
Another 36 percent of PBD patients have little or no idea what the initials PBD stand for. Some experts attribute this condition to AIS.
Stress is also increasing, especially among High Achievers (HAs). There are many ways to combat stress. Here are a few tips:
What would Anna do?
Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue, swears by wearing specially tailored dark glasses at all times, except in the shower. “I tried wearing them in the shower for a year, but found that their little wipers didn’t go fast enough, making it hard to find the soap.”
Today, whenever she finds herself suffering from acute stress, Anna wears extra dark glasses over her first set of dark glasses for added safety.
The look has since gone viral: Leading rapper JC, the performer formerly known as Jay Cloth, was recently spotted with three or four pairs performing his latest hit, Da World’s Gone Dark On Me, at Madison Square Garden.
Many High Achievers report hearing a harsh inner critic whisper in their ear that they might fail. Many of those who seek help from me tell me they can’t stop making TDLs (To-Do Lists)
The fun of to-do lists
Many High Achievers report hearing a harsh inner critic whisper in their ear that they might fail. Many of those who seek my help tell me they can’t stop making TDLs (To-Do Lists) — often three or four times a day. And they also stick hundreds of different colored Post-it’s all over their house: on and in the fridge, next to their bed, on the WL (clothesline), over the television, on their CAPs (cockapoos). Living like this can be hard. How to cure it? I urge with my vote to TIE (Take It Easy). “Put ‘Stop making to-do lists’ at the top of your next to-do list and put Post-it notes on your Post-it notes that read ‘An End to PINs’.”
I also advise them to make small shifts in their daily habits. That way, they suppress the need to over-achieve. An end to ambition! For example, why not pick up the bassoon instead of donning designer trainers and jogging 10 kilometers every morning? With a little practice, they could easily progress to the position of lead bassoonist in the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra by December 31, 2023.
Many HAs who visit my Wellness Clinic also suffer from WSD or Wild Swimming Disorder. Basically, this is the uncontrollable urge to clamber through nettles in your underwear (NIYU) and slog around in 2ft 6in MWB (Mud, Water and Brambles) to make you feel GAY (Good About Yourself).
The only cure is to force your central nervous system to focus on something else by pursuing another, more soothing activity, such as SAFTV (slumping into an armchair in front of the TV). There’s no better time to do this than now, when you can enjoy watching my most prestigious client, Matt Hancock, CWP (Connecting With the Public).