A woman wonders if she is wrong to refuse to go to her little sister’s wedding, after finding out her sister is marrying her ex-boyfriend who she broke up with just a year ago.
“Am I an idiot for refusing to attend my sister’s wedding after she secretly dated and got engaged to my ex-fiancé?” the 28-year-old captioned a post requesting feedback on Reddit’s infamous r/AmITheA**hole forum.
She went on to explain that she had been with her ex-fiancé, named Mike, for five years, and that they had been engaged for two.
They had planned to get married last summer, but just months before the wedding date, she discovered that he had been cheating on her.
“Am I an idiot for refusing to attend my sister’s wedding after she secretly dated my ex-fiancé and got engaged to him?” the 28-year-old captioned the post.
“It was devastating and I called off the wedding immediately,” she wrote.
Shortly after, Mike moved out and she thought, “That was the end.”
“It broke my heart, but little by little I started to move on with my life,” she described.
But last month, the woman received a phone call from her 25-year-old younger sister, named Lily, who told her she had “exciting news” and asked her to come to her parents’ house for dinner to reveal it to her.
“When I arrived, Lily and my parents were all smiles and she dropped the bombshell: she was engaged to Mike,” the woman continued.
“My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to faint,” she recalls.
Apparently, Lily and Mike had been secretly dating for the past year, and had just gotten engaged.
“Her parents knew about it for months, but they decided to keep it from me to ‘protect my feelings,'” the woman added.
She wondered if she was wrong to refuse to go to her little sister’s wedding, after finding out that her sister is marrying her ex-boyfriend who she broke up with just a year ago (file image)
“They actually thought that I would eventually be happy for them,” she described her parents.
“Lily tried to justify it by saying that she and Mike fell in love after our breakup and that their relationship was meant to last,” the woman said of her sister’s excuse.
The sister also swore that they had not started dating until after the woman broke up with Mike.
However, it is understandable that the woman “felt betrayed on many levels.”
She continued: ‘I told everyone I wanted nothing to do with their wedding and stormed out.
Since then, my parents and Lily have been bombarding me with calls and texts, calling me selfish and saying I’m overreacting.
‘They claim that true love is rare and that I should support Lily’s happiness.’
“Now, the wedding is in a few months and the pressure is great,” he continued.
‘My parents have even threatened to cut off my funding if I don’t attend.
‘Some friends think I should leave to keep the peace and show I’m over it, while others are horrified and say I have every right to be angry and stay away.
‘Worse still, Lily now asks the woman to be her maid of honor, “claiming she wants to fix our relationship.”
“This request has left me heartbroken. I don’t want to ruin the family dynamic even further, but I can’t help the pain and betrayal I feel.”
Across thousands of comments, other Reddit users overwhelmingly called the woman NTA (short for “Not The A**hole”) for wanting to sit out the wedding.
The post concluded: ‘So you’re a moron for refusing to attend my sister’s wedding after she secretly dated and got engaged to my ex-fiancé?’
Across thousands of comments, other Reddit users overwhelmingly called the woman an NTA (short for ‘Not The A**hole’) for wanting to sit out the wedding.
The most upvoted comment stated: ‘I find it baffling that all the adults in this situation are accepting all of this without question and are pressuring you to do the same… that’s WILD.’
The commenter added: ‘Your sister and parents REALLY let you down, and are digging themselves even deeper holes by demanding you to respond in a certain way and threatening and forcing you to obey. Disgusting!’
A second commenter analyzed the situation this way: “Let’s recap this. Mike has cheated on you and broken your heart ((presumably) with someone else since Lily says they started dating after your breakup).
“Now that same cheater is with your sister and they, including your parents, hid this fact from you. Now they drop this bomb on you, calling you heartless for not believing in their ‘true love’ and Lily even dares to ask you to be her maid of honor?
“If Mike cheated once, he’ll do it again. That’s what I foresee,” they predicted, also advising the woman to maintain little to no contact with her immediate family.
A third chimed in: “I can’t help them ending up together. They started dating after your relationship had ended. If your sister is in love with your roommate and he’s a known cheater, all the best for her. I think deep down you’ll process the truth of that for yourself and maintain your relationship with your sister.”
‘BUT YOU NEED time to process this… I’m dropping the bomb on you two months before the wedding. Expecting you to get over your feelings and also be a part of the wedding party is A LOT to ask in this situation.
“Your parents and sister made a terrible mistake by NOT telling you about this sooner and giving you time to process your feelings,” they reasoned.
And as a fourth said: “OMG it’s a mess that she’s marrying your ex who cheated on you. The fact that they were secretly dating makes me think she was the other woman.”
“I don’t blame you for not going. I’m sorry this is happening. Your parents are wrong too. But your sister is the worst.”
(tags to translate)dailymail
