A woman has sparked fierce debate after revealing the long list of rules she wants her mother-in-law to agree to before she and her husband move in.
The anonymous wife, from the US, took to popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to shed light on the lawsuits.
She explained that she wanted her mother-in-law and her boyfriend, both 66, to get rid of their dog, never discipline their children, and make her the primary owner of the house, to name just a few.
But readers were bitterly divided in the comments.
The anonymous wife, from the US, took to popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to shed light on the lawsuits.
She explained that she wanted her mother-in-law and her boyfriend, both 66, to get rid of their dog, never discipline their children and make her the primary owner of the house, to name just a few (file image ).
The post, which was shared earlier this week, was titled: ‘Am I the asshole for giving my mother-in-law a list of demands/rules after she asked us to move in with her?’
He began by establishing a list of rules numbered one to six that read: “She will get rid of her dog.”
‘Neither she nor her boyfriend should reprimand my children at all and are expected to come and tell me or my husband if my children are doing something wrong.
‘There will be a list of people who are not allowed to enter the house. (Your family and friends).
‘I, my husband and my children WILL be treated with respect at all times and I will not be treated like a child.
‘My husband and I will definitely be listed on the deed as primary holders before we move.
“If any of these demands are not met to the highest standard, I will retire.”
The disgruntled woman then further unraveled the difficult family dynamic.
Unsurprisingly, the post was soon inundated with comments, leaving readers bitterly divided. On the one hand, there were those who argued that the woman was not wrong.
‘My mother-in-law is getting older. She is not old but her health is not the best. Recently she asked us to move in with her because she can no longer work, she has no retirement fund and cannot move around like before.
‘She needs help and we are the only ones who can help her. She has until the end of the month to pay $12k in back taxes before her house goes into foreclosure.
‘My mother-in-law is an incredible woman. I love her to pieces. But she likes to please people to the extreme and that has caused her to fall into situations that I will never agree to put myself in.
Going deeper, she shared: ‘Her boyfriend is “Mason”, 66 years old. A felon, due to his continued charges of driving while intoxicated. He just got out of prison last year after six years in prison and is already back to drinking all day, every day.
“He got drunk one night eight months ago and decided to go adopt a five-year-old Rottweiler Mastiff mix and then made no attempt to train the animal.
‘Now he is food aggressive, kennel aggressive, toy aggressive and resource guarding everything. He is aggressively protective of my mother-in-law. Then the dog would have to go. Under no circumstances will I make an exception to this.
‘My children are small (one crawls) and that animal will not have the opportunity to mutilate my children. The dog stays, we don’t move and that’s it.
She went on to explain: ‘Mason also has an old-school parenting style and on more than one occasion has tried to father my children with an angry, old-fashioned parenting style. That’s why I said that neither he nor my mother-in-law will reprimand/discipline any of my children in any way.
“I said my name will be on the deed before I move out because my husband and I will spend the money to save his house and, frankly, I don’t trust Mason not to try to kick us out after we do it then.”
“So if they don’t put us on the primary deed, we won’t move and she may lose her house.”
But on the other hand, there were some who said she was the ‘asshole’ in this situation.
The concerned mother justified her other demands, explaining: ‘As for the limit on who can come into the house: Mason has a relative who is a convicted pedophile (the girl was four; he went to prison for 13 years). who he hangs out with often.
“He seems to think that since the man is in a wheelchair, he is now ‘harmless’. Absolutely not. He is not welcome in the house.
‘As for us being treated with respect in all circumstances and not being treated like a child: there have been several occasions where Mason and my mother-in-law have tried to make decisions for me and my husband or told us what to do and I haven’t. I will tolerate
He revealed that he had already submitted the list of demands that had met with resistance.
‘Mason and my mother-in-law say that the list makes them feel like they are children/guests in their own home and they feel that I have now decided that I am going to control their lives and have asked them to make changes.
‘That is, they want to keep the dog and have stated that we will simply find a way to keep the dog separate from us (no).
‘Mason also wants to allow a member of his family to come, but has stated that he will keep them in his part of the house and away from my children (no).
‘They also feel they should be able to reprimand and discipline my children if they are doing something wrong if it is “within reason” (not). I told them they can talk to the parents and that’s final. I said I’m not going to give in.
Other family members have since called the woman “ridiculous,” prompting her to ask if she was the one in the wrong.
Unsurprisingly, the post was soon inundated with comments, leaving readers bitterly divided.
On the one hand, there were those who argued that the woman was not wrong.
One person wrote: ‘NTA. It seems like everything on this list has a very valid reason behind it. It sounds like you would not only be a financial supporter, but also a caregiver. For that, you definitely need to set basic boundaries.”
Another added: ‘NTA. Your responsibility is to your children and, in my opinion, moving to live with them seems like too big a risk.’
And a third simply commented: “Not at all, boundaries are important.”
But on the other hand, there were some who said she was the ‘asshole’ in this situation.
‘YTA, for even considering this living arrangement. “If my wife and I were in this situation and she said it was me and my mother-in-law/her problems or her divorce, she would be on the phone with a lawyer so fast her head would spin,” one wrote. .
Another shared: ‘YTA for even considering this deal. You are not responsible for your MIL’s terrible life decisions.
‘Moving in with them puts your children, your finances and potentially your marriage at risk. Let him declare bankruptcy and move into a senior apartment.
Someone else explained: ‘YTA. For considering moving your vulnerable children with an active alcoholic.