Monday was my sober night.
During my wild days of partying with bikers, dancing for money, and doing drugs recklessly, there was one night a week when I didn’t punish my body with cocaine. Looking back, how I managed to do that was a miracle.
My story may seem conflicting at first, but I share it because I want the world to know that it is possible to break the cycle of addiction and come out on the other side.
You see, I was surrounded by drug abuse growing up. And, ironically, it was fleeing this toxic environment that launched me headlong into my own addiction.
Lost at 17, I met some bikers (outlaw motorcycle gang members) and they introduced me to cocaine. I didn’t get hooked right away; That would not happen until two years later, when I moved from Western Australia toward Gold Coastthe party capital of Australia, and started going clubbing.
I was trying to escape my chaotic home life by moving interstate. Rather, it only made things worse. By the end of my adolescence I was hopelessly addicted to coke.
Before I talk about my addiction, you’re probably wondering if I ever felt intimidated by the criminals I hung out with who gave me drugs. The thing is, I had never felt safe growing up in my family, so I was comfortable with danger; It was normal for me.
And it was fun too. With these guys around, every night there was a party. And finally I decided to make partying my profession. As soon as I came of age, I took a job as a skimpy (a bikini-clad waitress) and worked private events. Cocaine kept me alert and I felt like I never lost control, unlike when I drank alcohol.
Lezly Kaye (pictured) was a teenage cocaine addict. She is now sober and a successful businesswoman. “From Tuesday to Sunday it was continuous chaos. He made quick money and enjoyed the thrill of being around bad guys,” Lezly writes.
From Tuesday to Sunday the chaos was constant. He was making money fast and enjoyed the thrill of being around bad guys. I was a high-functioning addict and eventually got to the point where I couldn’t go two days without cocaine, which was always available when bikers were around.
In many ways, I was still a child, but doing drugs elevated my sense of status. I felt big and important and I could also I fooled myself into thinking cocaine was “acceptable” because it wasn’t a “hard” drug like heroin. No, it was just a fun party drug, not to mention the drug of choice for the rich and famous.
Fortunately mine is not a story of tragedy.
I didn’t endure a lifetime of addiction only to end up destitute and broken. My time as an out-of-control cocaine addict lasted only two years, and I am proud to say that it is now a thing of the past.
“Normally I would make between $2,000 and $5,000 a week as a half-naked waitress. For me, looks were power: I was tall, toned, and had big breasts. Who wouldn’t want to celebrate with me?
But before I talk about my life today, let me paint a picture of my life as a party girl.
My work week was Wednesday through Sunday and I typically made between $2,000 and $5,000 a week as a half-naked waitress. For me, looks were power: I was tall, toned, and had big breasts. Who wouldn’t want to celebrate with me?
But while I was pretty and bright on the outside, on the inside my self-esteem was in tatters.
I grew up surrounded by drug addicts, gangs and abuse. My childhood was a constant battle to survive, emotionally and physically. He had always sworn that he would not follow the same path of drugs. And yet, I would look in the mirror on a Monday (the one day of the week when I abstained from drugs, got some exercise, and actually ate proper food) and saw a young woman I didn’t recognize.
Despite everything I had tried to escape, here I was going down the same path: the partying, the drugs, the excessive drinking… it all felt too familiar. She was trapped in a cycle of survival that she had inherited. When I was 21, I knew I had to change.
I remember the morning when something inside me broke. As I looked around my apartment, littered with the debris of another crazy night, a horrible sinking feeling crept up my body and into my throat. Whether it was the paranoia of the fall or the realization that I was no longer in control of my life, I simply knew that this was my rock bottom.
I made a decision: I was not going to let my past define my future. I packed my bags and planned my return home. I didn’t tell my boss or my ‘friends’. In fact, I didn’t tell anyone I’d met on the Gold Coast that I was leaving.
The return to WA marked the beginning of Lezly’s rebirth. ‘At age 21 I was baptized into the Catholic Church and began a proper career: in recruiting, not as a bikini-clad waitress. I had always been an atheist, but I thought that if I got baptized, the old version of me would be “erased.”
Returning to WA marked the beginning of a journey that changed everything.
At age 21, I was baptized into the Catholic Church and began a professional career: in recruiting, not as a bikini-clad waitress. I had always been an atheist, but I thought that if I was baptized, the old version of me would be “erased.”
I rose through the ranks quickly and In my second year on the job I was making over half a million dollars. I quickly purchased five investment properties and by the time I was in my twenties I was already planning to retire early..
Sounds like my happy ending, right? What was really happening is that I had exchanged my drug addiction for a work addiction. I was pulling 12-hour days six days a week. I was blocking out the ghosts of the past by keeping myself obsessively busy. Yes, it was lucrative, but it was still a form of self-medication..
And of course, my new industry was awash in drugs.
Recruiting sometimes feels like a Wolf of Wall Street type industry: you work hard and play harder. While I never fully relapsed, I occasionally used cocaine socially when my colleagues did.
Around that time I met the man I would marry. We were together for a decade but divorced three years ago..
Despite being together for 10 years and having a son, who is now six, I never told my husband about my past as a cocaine addict because I was ashamed. I wanted to forget that the old me ever existed.
It was a good relationship. We traveled a lot and were fantastic parents; we still are. But in a way we never really met because I kept that chapter of my life a secret from him. That’s why, Intimacy, depth and connection were lacking in our marriage. I don’t think he ever saw me cry.
Because I desperately wanted to pretend that my past ever happened, I spent most of my twenties and thirties wearing the mask of a successful, well-rounded young professional. I didn’t want to admit that I was still that broken party girl inside, and that I had just exchanged drugs for addiction to work and money..
But, as I discovered at my parties, euphoria is always followed by a brutal fall. And that’s exactly what happened to me.
He had gone from barely surviving to thriving. In total, I spent 15 years in recruiting, staying at the same company for eight years and rising to the top of the ladder there. Then, after taking just six weeks off work to have my son, I was presented with an offer to partner with an investor to start my own business. It was too tempting to resist.
I built that business from scratch until it was valued at $60 million. Not a bad effort for 18 months of work. But the good times didn’t last.
In 2022, I was so exhausted that I sold the company’s assets and took 12 months off. Despite our success, when I closed the business I was $3 million in debt to the taxman.
Most people would be scared if they had such a huge debt, but after everything he had been through, he had a strong feeling that he could get out of any situation, no matter how impossible it was. – which I did.
In January 2023, I started my coaching and virtual assistant business and in my first year I reached six figures in income. I’m now on my way to achieving a seven-figure turnover.
The path to success is rarely linear and my journey was no exception. It was complicated, full of mistakes, setbacks, and lessons learned the hard way. But every decision I made after that moment was driven by the desire to overcome my past.
In January 2023, I started my coaching and virtual assistant business and in my first year I reached six figures in income. Now I’m on my way to seven-figure turnover.
It wasn’t easy (coming out of the darkness never is), but I knew that the life I wanted was possible if I worked hard.
I took advantage of the same restlessness that had driven me to party six nights a week when I was a lost teenager to become a force of nature in business. But the difference this time was that he was not on a path of self-destruction, but rather he was build something real and meaningful.
I am not afraid of fear. As the cliché goes, I’m sorry and I do it anyway. Even with my debt and the demons of my past, I have been able to move forward to become the best mother and businesswoman I can be..
I want other women to know that no matter where you come from, no matter how dark your past is, your future is determined by your decisions.
You can rewrite your story. That would be my message to my 19 year old self.
- As told to Carina Stathis