A mother has wondered if she is an idiot for refusing to change her surname to her maiden name now that her ex-husband is getting remarried.
The 39-year-old took to Reddit to vent her frustrations against her husband, 38, after he demanded she go back to using her maiden name because his fiancée, 24, was uncomfortable with her continuing to keep her name. name.
She noted that she didn’t want to go back to her last name, even though she and her ex were divorced because she wanted to keep the same last name as her children.
In a thread titled ‘Am I an idiot?‘She questioned if she was wrong to keep her ex-husband’s last name.
A mother has wondered if she is an idiot for refusing to change her surname to her maiden name now that her ex-husband is getting remarried (file image)
The post was titled: ‘My ex-husband (39F) (37M) insists I change my last name to my maiden name because her new fiancé (24F) feels it will be awkward for her and me to have the same last name. Am I the idiot for refusing to change it?’
The mother wrote: ‘My (39F) ex-husband (38M) has been dating this woman for three years. For context, she is 24 years old. My ex and I were married for 12 years and have been divorced for five years, we have three children together who are now teenagers.
‘My ex and I divorced because we were young when we met, got married and grew apart as people. “It was a mutual decision and we agreed that our children came first and they have always been very good parents.”
She explained that she and her ex were separated and had maintained a good relationship with their children, until he found a new woman.
‘This has been the case until last year, when his girlfriend moved in with him. Previously we celebrated holidays and children’s birthdays together, now when she is around, they don’t even sit near me at our children’s sporting events. I have always been nice to this woman, even though my children express that they don’t like her and feel that her father acts differently when she is around her.
‘My ex told me from the beginning that she was not a fan of mine and felt that I intimidated her. “When I asked her for examples of how he bullied her, she said she’s my face, I have a resting bitch face and that makes her uncomfortable,” the Reddit user said.
During the divorce, the exes had agreed that she could keep her last name because she didn’t want to have a different last name than her children.
However, now that he is re-engaged to a 24-year-old who feels “intimidated” that her ex is keeping her lover’s last name, he has demanded that she change it back to her maiden name.
The 39-year-old took to Reddit to vent her frustrations against her husband, 38, after he demanded she go back to using her maiden name because his fiancée, 24, was uncomfortable.
She added: “My ex called me yesterday and told me that she advised me that I have a year to change my last name to my maiden name, as her finances are expressing her displeasure and concern about her and I having the same last name.” name when they get married.
‘I told him that we agreed in our divorce that he could keep his last name until he felt the need to change it, and that’s what’s on our paperwork. I also told him that I don’t want to have a different last name than our children.
However, despite giving her ex her reasoning for why she doesn’t want to go back to her maiden name, he continues to cause a fuss about it.
Her ex-husband accused her of being “unreasonable” and begged her to see her new lover’s perspective.
She said: “He said I’m being unreasonable and I refuse to see how this could make his fiancée uncomfortable.” I told her that I can’t see it from her side because I am an adult and not an immature child like her. She told me that she could ask anyone about this situation and they would all agree with her.
‘So I’m an idiot for refusing to change my last name to make her happy?’
People flooded the comments section and rushed to the mother’s defense.
People flooded the comments section and rushed to the mother’s defense.
One person said: ‘Not the jerk.’ Tell her that you will only consider changing your last name to your maiden name if you can also change the children’s last names.
‘If you don’t agree. You can sit on it and spin.’
‘The solution is quite simple. You can change her last name to that of your fiancée. Problem solved,” someone else wrote.
Another user added: ‘My mother has been divorced from my father for just over 50 years. She still has her last name and he has no problem with it. ANT. They are both acting immature. That’s his legal last name. If it is not written in the divorce decree that you will change it, both of you can kick stones.’
It’s easy for him to say it when he doesn’t have to do any paperwork or deal with the consequences. He knows how to crush sand,” someone else added.
‘Then he can take his new girlfriend’s name! Problem solved. You and the soon-to-be new wife will not have the same “married last name,” another person added.
Someone else added: ‘This right here. He chose to marry an immature woman, he can deal with her. Her “concerns” are not OP’s problems.’
‘NTA’. It is no longer his name; is your name. If your fiancé doesn’t want to have the same last name as you, that’s okay. She doesn’t have to take her name. Or you can change both your names to Mr. and Mrs. Big Crybaby. But no, he has no right to force you to change your name. Your feelings don’t matter less than hers just because she’s the new Mrs. Crying,’ one user commented.
The anonymous mother has since shared an update on Reddit about her last name fiasco and revealed that her ex-husband finally saw her perspective and agreed that she can keep her last name.