A mother has revealed she feels “trapped” after being “pressured” by her husband to have a baby she didn’t want.
The 31-year-old American woman took to Reddit to vent about her dilemma, in which she admitted that she had resented her husband for “pressuring” her into becoming a mother, despite a mutual decision they had made to remain child-free.
Posting anonymously on a disposable account, the woman detailed her frustration on the popular R/AmITheA*****e subreddit on January 9.
In it mailThe mother explained that she and her husband, 33, have been married for six years.
Before getting married, the woman explained that she and her husband had reached a “clear agreement” not to have children, since she “never wanted to be a mother” and initially thought he felt the same.
However, she claimed that her husband began to ‘change his mind’ four years into their marriage, which started with ‘little comments’ of “Wouldn’t it be fun to have a little one running around?”
She continued: ‘Then it turned into serious conversations in which he said he couldn’t imagine his life without being a father.
“I told him I didn’t want kids yet, but he kept saying, ‘You’d be a great mom!’ or ‘You might feel different once he’s yours.'”
A mother has revealed she feels “trapped” after being “pressured” by her husband to have a baby she didn’t want (file image)
Ultimately, the woman revealed that she “gave in” because she “didn’t want to lose her marriage” because of their different views on having children.
The woman, who is now the mother of a seven-month-old baby, admitted that while she loves her son, she “can’t shake the feeling” that she feels “trapped” as her career has since taken a backseat. flat and feels “constantly exhausted.”
She added: ‘My husband, on the other hand, is thriving. He loves being a father, but he works long hours and leaves most of the parenting to me.’
‘Recently, I told him that I am struggling and that I feel like I was pressured into doing this. She got upset and said I was being unfair because I “agreed” to have the baby. He thinks I just need to adapt and stop thinking about what I wanted before.
The woman concluded by asking her fellow Redditors for clarity about whether she should “feel guilty” for resenting her husband for pressuring her into making a decision she “was clear she didn’t want.”
The post has since racked up 1.3k comments, as a large number of Redditors sympathized with the mother, while others chillingly warned her: “Resentment will eat you alive.”
One person wrote: ‘If the man really wants to have children when the woman doesn’t want them and she finally agrees, that agreement must be with the following conditions: A. His career, if he has one, will not be affected B. He will stay with 50% of all parental duties and C. He pays for the child’s care.’
Another said: “I’m so sorry you gave in. Now it’s your turn to demand that he take his share of parenting.”
‘Tell him that you are no longer going to neglect your career and that he will have to make some sacrifices for the son he wanted. I would be mad with resentment if I were you.
A third wrote: “Women really need to stop giving in under these circumstances… it would have been better to lose the marriage.”
Another said: “It’s 2025, not 1965. Both parents should share responsibilities and care for the child.” This benefits the child and the marriage. Your husband needs to do more.’
However, one person warned: ‘People who long to have children are not compatible with people who never want to have children. Flatly, irreconcilably, they are not compatible.
“It’s a bigger issue than money, career, extended family, personality, religion or other issues.”
Another wrote: ‘He got what he wanted, he has few changes to his routine, his work is not affected and he doesn’t seem to care how you feel. NTA, but resentment will eat you alive. Get your life back and what you wanted for it.’
Elsewhere, a bride-to-be’s wedding plans have turned sour after she rejected her pregnant sister’s suggestion to host a big gender reveal at the reception.