A new mum has revealed her husband kept waking up their sleeping baby after spending hours setting him up.
The woman took the UK platform Mumsnet to explain that she takes care of 90% of the parenting and that it sometimes takes more than an hour to install the baby.
She wondered if her partner liked seeing her struggling with the baby or if he was just being “a jerk”.
Many rushed to the comments, with some saying they would go so far as to end the relationship.
The message read: ‘Dear husband and I have a 5 month old who does not sleep at all. I do ALL bedtimes (and 90% of general parenting, but that’s irrelevant I guess).
A new mum has revealed on Mumsnet that her husband kept waking their sleeping baby by screaming around the house (stock image)
“My gripe is that once again after spending over an hour putting baby to sleep, DH is screaming upstairs at the top of her voice asking me for something.
“It happens several times a week and it wakes baby up. I am now trying to relocate baby while DH enjoys his free time alone downstairs like he does every night.
“If I don’t yell at him in case the baby doesn’t wake up, he’s still yelling!”
‘He says he’s still screaming in case I didn’t hear or something happened to me?!
“He’s not thinking about walking five seconds up the stairs to check if me and baby are already asleep, because that would probably be too easy.
“He just shrugs when I explain how I feel. I’ve even cried sometimes because I’m so exhausted and then I have a baby to sort out again.
The mother said it had happened so many times that she was starting to wonder if it was intentional.
She explained: “For context, this is the same man who, when baby was three weeks old, went out for his hobby and when he arrived home at midnight, slammed the front door and walked away. shouted “HELLO” at the top of his voice.
“When I didn’t respond the first time, having just woken up and was in shock, he screamed again and woke me and the baby.
‘It would have been really reckless already if I hadn’t texted her half an hour earlier to tell her that I had finally taken the baby out, I was going to sleep myself before she had her next meal and please be quiet as you walk in, to which he replied “okay I’ll be fine”.
“I hadn’t slept that week because I had a nasty infection from my episiotomy and the baby had a terrible reaction to the antibiotics that passed through my breast milk, so we were back and on dates, etc better.
The woman took to the UK platform to explain that she does 90 per cent of the parenting and sometimes it takes over an hour to set the baby up
“I told him how I felt and said basically everything I wrote above, but it never comes in.
“I don’t know if he’s completely stupid or if he doesn’t want me to rest and enjoy watching me wrestle with baby.”
‘How can I handle this?! Anything I could do to disturb her sleep would probably disturb baby too, so I’d cut off my nose to upset my face.
Many have suggested that her husband was exhibiting “strange gaslighting behavior” and appeared to be in control.
One person wrote: ‘You texted him ahead of time warning him to shut up and he still came in loudly and slammed the door.
‘He gaslights you and it’s pretty sick. How could someone be so stupid when they have already been told and asked to shut up? It must be intentional..’
Another said: ‘I was going to say stupid until you said you texted him to say you were going to sleep and he still came shouting HELLO down the stairs. Weird gaslighting behavior as a previous comment pointed out.
“I mean any normal person would just pay attention even to a sleeping stranger and naturally try to shut up, let alone their own wife and child.
“I would hand the baby over to him and tell him to go put baby to bed, which means you can’t do that without disturbing!! Either that or you need to be more direct with him, people sometimes need to be called. Ask him directly if he is stupid? Or is he trying to play with you.
Many have suggested that her husband is showing ‘strange gaslighting behavior’ and appears to be in control
Another agreed saying: ‘F’ing hell this is awful!!! Dim and thoughtless, maybe, if he did it once… but to continue despite demands, with explanations and tears, is deliberately shitty.
“He’s either incredibly self-centered and stubborn and happy to not give a d*** by refusing to adjust his behavior even a tiny ounce to make things better, or… he really likes to twist the knife and screw you Anyway, it’s unbearably cruel.
A fourth wrote: ‘I agree it’s abusive – it’s coercive control, not even well hidden. I bet he doesn’t like being wrong or being told what to do.
Others have suggested that she should end the relationship as soon as possible due to her behavior.
One person said: ‘Honestly, I would seriously consider ending a relationship over this, and I’m a very tolerant person.
Another wrote: “I’m telling you now…He’s mean and mean. Don’t bother trying to pull him up on his behavior.
“He knows exactly what he’s doing. Take your baby and get out ASAP!’
While another agreed, saying: ‘I’m so mad at you. If you are financially independent, leave it and get child support. This can help pay for responsible adult childcare.
“I can’t imagine a happy life with this person for you or your child. He’s a fool.
Some women suggested that he should settle the baby once he wakes the child.
One person said, “Why doesn’t he put the baby down if he woke him up?”
“If it was me, I would come down and do it. He wouldn’t wake the baby again, I’m sure. Also, you should split the nights 50/50 – why are you doing all this? »
Another wrote: ‘I would tell him the next time he does something to wake the baby once you put him to sleep you will hand the baby over to him to settle back in.’
Someone else said, “Ask him to bed, and he can be responsible if baby wakes up. I bet he’ll stop screaming.
