A woman has admitted she was left questioning her husband’s sexuality after he asked her to join him in a threesome with his best friend.
In an interview with British parenting platform Mumsnet, the woman explained that, although her partner of 17 years “is in touch with his feminine side”, “it had never occurred to me that he was gay.”
She revealed that her husband asked her if she would like to have a threesome with him and his friend, who was also the best man at the couple’s wedding.
The woman explained that her partner and his partner have been friends since school, but have become closer recently, and she fears the relationship may have “changed.”
Many were quick to comment to offer her some advice, with some saying she should “leave the marriage alone.”
A woman admitted she was left with doubts about her husband’s sexuality after he asked her to join him in a threesome with his best friend (file image)
The post read: ‘I have been with DH (dear husband) for 17 years, married for eight. We have two children together, DS (dear son) and DD (dear daughter), and have raised a wonderful family together.
‘I had never questioned DH’s sexuality, beyond my friends’ comments about some of DH’s slightly feminine qualities.
‘Although he is in touch with his feminine side, he is an electrician and has always loved having a pint at the local pub with his friends, so it had never occurred to me that he was gay.
‘He has always had a close relationship with his best friend, but recently I feel like things have changed…
‘He and Paul* have been best friends since school and Paul was best man at our wedding. Paul and I get on well but we don’t have as close a friendship as I have with my own friends.’
She went on to explain that she had no personal connection to her partner’s friend, but her husband approached her with the idea of a “possible threesome.”
She continued: ‘Having been together for so long, it’s fair to say things aren’t as exciting as they once were in the bedroom for DH and I respectively, so I understand wanting to spice things up a bit now that the kids are older.
‘DH didn’t give much explanation about where the idea came from, but he seemed excited and assured me it would be fun for all three of us.
On a British parenting platform, the woman explained that although her husband is “in touch with his feminine side”, he never questioned his sexuality until now.
Some suggested her partner could be cheating on her and others said he could definitely be gay.
“This has made me question DH’s sexuality as Paul himself has never shown much interest in me beyond banter which makes me wonder if this was DH’s idea and I’m not sure what that would mean. DH and Paul have always been very close and trust each other but now I’m starting to question the nature of their relationship. Any advice is welcome.”
Some suggested her partner could be cheating on her and others said he could definitely be gay.
One person said: ‘In my opinion, and it’s just my opinion… I don’t understand how someone can love another person and yet want to have sex with another person and watch them do the same thing.
“I can’t imagine myself ever doing it. If my husband proposed a threesome, I’d assume he was going to do it or that he’d been cheating on me. I’d leave the marriage.”
Another said: “I wonder how the subject came up between your husband and Paul. They’d obviously already had the conversation.
‘I don’t think they would be willing to risk their friendship by having sex and possibly ruining their marriage just for the sake of experimenting, if there wasn’t already a strong attraction there.
‘I’d bet you’ve had sex before, or at least explored things before, possibly even years ago.
‘If you agree to the threesome, they can go ahead and explore with your “consent”, and lo and behold, afterwards your husband has discovered that all these new feelings have surfaced and he’s done a lot of soul searching and he and Paul are really shocked to discover that they have feelings for each other, and in fact, honey, I may be gay, and you’ve helped me see that.’
Meanwhile, others claimed that the original author should not be concerned about her husband’s suggestion.
Meanwhile, others claimed she shouldn’t be worried about her husband’s suggestion. One person said: “Of course he’s not gay. He just wants a threesome and has decided his partner is probably the best person to do it with.”
“It guarantees that even if you said yes, it wouldn’t happen anyway. They probably got drunk at the bar one night and thought it was a great idea. Just say no if it’s not for you and move on with your day.”
Another said: “Wanting a threesome doesn’t make you gay. Wanting to expand your sex life after 17 is very common and a way to try and keep things exciting in the bedroom. Wanting a threesome is a very common fantasy.
“Wanting to fantasize about and then explore your first threesome with your best friend isn’t unusual. I know three people who have drunkenly said, “If I’m ever going to do it, I’m going to do it with my best friend.” One of those people did it with her best friend.
“You may not have even thought that things like sex toys, new positions, role-playing, dirty talk, erotic fiction, etc., would be a great way to spice things up a bit. Some men seem to go for the “get someone else involved, that’ll do the trick” option without even thinking about the long-term implications of what that means.”
Meanwhile, another said: “I don’t understand the connection between wanting a threesome and your husband being gay. A threesome might not involve any physical contact between your husband and his friend (too much to describe).”
A fourth man said: “Many straight men get turned on by the fantasy of ‘sharing’ their wife with another man. That doesn’t mean he’s gay.”
*The name has been changed
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