A woman has revealed she needed to rehouse her dog four years ago because her friend of less than 12 months had a pet allergy and wanted to move in.
Go to parenting uk site mumsentShe loves her partner and wants to start a family together, the conflicted poster insisted, but is understandably upset about giving up her dog.
Commenters were torn as some expressed outrage at the idea of ”giving up your fur baby” — but others sided with her partner, who they said was being asked to “take a big risk.”
The couple made tentative plans to start living together around June. “The only problem is that I own a dog and we recently found out she has allergies,” the anonymous woman wrote.
She’s also mildly obsessive-compulsive and struggles with dog hair/smells. I suspected she had an allergy but didn’t want to admit it to myself.
A British woman asked for advice on how she would deal with rehoming her dog – whose partner has allergies (Stock Image)
The pet’s owner agreed to rehom the dog — but with June only to come, her partner was frustrated by “the lack of progress on this.”
The post continued, “I said I would probably ask family or friends to take him along as I could visit him at that time.” I will struggle to get him back with strangers that way i can be sure he is okay.
I haven’t mentioned any of this to my family/friend yet, so we have no idea if they are willing to take the dog. They are all animal lovers, so I’m sure at least one of them will say yes.
The woman admitted that she was silent about the issue because it was “difficult for her to think about it.”
She added, ‘My partner understands that it is difficult with me, but he finds that this is not proactive because we are not really able to plan for her move until the dog has been moved into his home.’
Taking to Mumsnet, the conflicted poster revealed that she “loves it” and “wants to get married and have a family with” the partner, but is understandably upset about giving up her puppy. Stock image used
“We discussed it several times but ended up going in circles and crying because I didn’t actually make a plan.”
Her partner suggested bringing the pets back by the end of May — but because conversations on the topic rarely end with a plan in place, she feels her needs and health aren’t a priority.
The woman admitted that there is more to this dilemma.
She added, “If I’m being honest, I’m afraid of being judged by family and friends even though I know they will probably understand that she has allergies.”
‘What were you doing in this situation?’ Breaking up isn’t an option because she’s the one I want to be with, but I struggle with everything if I’m being honest. Thank you.’
The range of suggestions ranged from calling it quits with a partner to more practical solutions like antihistamines and filters.
The range of suggestions ranged from calling it quits with a partner to more practical solutions like antihistamines and filters
“June is very close,” someone warned. If she is moving to live somewhere, she needs to make arrangements to move…
“You’re asking her to take a big risk and maybe she should just move in so you can prove that you’re really committed to the relationship.”
Another agreed that the choice had to be made one way or another.
Well, I mean, you need to separate, or get your dog home, or tell the DP that she can’t move because you’re not ready to rehouse your dog, they explained.
The latter seems like the truth based on your post, but it leaves your DP hanging around waiting for you to get ready and it’s understandable that she might not be so ready.
“You need to actually decide what you want most: for your dog or your partner to move in. And tell her you’re struggling, because what’s going on right now is really unfair to her. She obviously needs to know where you’ll be living in June.”
A third person admitted that he couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t live with his puppy.
Others insisted that the partner should try to deal with allergies with filters and antihistamines
“I really can’t give my dog back for a new partner,” they wrote. “They wouldn’t be the one for me if that was necessary… I feel so sorry for your dog.”
Elsewhere, someone suggested postponing the move, where the partner would live with the family and wouldn’t need to worry about things like the lease.
‘I think if he went to a family friend and you knew he was okay, it would be some consolation,’ they said, but that would be the only way I could do it.
Do you think if I had to resettle him, it might lead to some resentment in the future? It’s really early days – can you wait another 6 months and then see how it goes?
Many were outraged that returning the dog was a consideration, and said it put its safety at risk.
One commenter commented, “This is ridiculous.” I’ve been with her for about 5 minutes. But whatever happens, please don’t get another dog if it’s disposable and you think you can give it away and get it back when it suits you.
Others insisted that the partner should try to deal with the sensitivity.
‘Take a strong antihistamine, take extra care and if it doesn’t help at least go to the doctors,’ they advised.
You don’t give away your baby’s fur that you had 4 years ago. It might be better for the poor a** though you care that much. This sad.’
Another explained that they could buy things and be more careful about cleanliness to make it more manageable.
There are also HEPA filters that remove pet dander from your home. You say your house is full of dust – how about stepping up the cleaning, investing in a filter and seeing if that improves things before you take the drastic step of relocation.
