A woman has sparked debate over whether people are now more eccentric than ever after revealing how some of her friends abandoned her 40th birthday celebrations with just six days’ notice.
The woman took to British parenting platform Mumsnet to explain that she booked a place with food and drink for 28 friends, but now eight dropped out at the last minute and she has to foot the bill.
She was worried that more people would leave the event as the event approached and considered canceling her birthday party altogether.
People quickly flocked to the comments to sympathize with the woman, with many saying people have become “woefully unstable” and “untrustworthy” lately.
the publication read: ‘People leave my 40th on Saturday. Should I cancel? Hello, this is sensitive and disturbing, so please don’t come to fight.
A woman has sparked an argument about whether people are now more eccentric than ever after revealing how some of her friends abandoned her 40th birthday celebrations with just six days’ notice (file image)
‘I’m turning 40 on Friday and I’ve booked a bar with catering for 28 friends. Invitations were sent out and people responded yes, so I ordered catering and drinks accordingly.
‘There is a minimum expense that I will have to cover if it is not spent; everything normal. With six days left, about eight of the “yeses” are turning into “noes.”
‘I’m not sure if there will be more. At what point do I cancel everything? Or how can I reframe my idea that a smaller thing will be just as pretty (although it might be expensive for me since I’ll have to cover the cost now)?
‘God, I wish people wouldn’t fall apart. It’s a big birthday milestone, not an in-between one. It makes me think I’m not important and I feel a little depressed! How would you rephrase this in your head or with your practical head?’
In response, several users highlighted that people “seem to be quick to cancel” plans, with one person suggesting this trend has “gotten worse” post-Covid.
One comment read: “I think many people have become woefully unstable and spending money for these events is not a good idea due to late cancellations.”
‘I would just invite a lot of other people, I wouldn’t tell the cancellers that you’re hurt unless you can do it face to face and it seems like the right time, because canceling is very common nowadays. I hope it happens and goes well. Happy Birthday.’
Another said: ‘People are unstable. We had about 15 no-shows at our wedding party, which out of 100 didn’t make much of a dent, but I still took them into account in catering etc. None of them had a decent excuse!
The woman took to the British parenting platform to explain that she booked a place with food and drink for 28 friends, but now eight dropped out at the last minute and she has to foot the bill.
Someone else said: “I’m so sorry to hear you have friends canceling.” I agree with other posters that people seem to cancel quickly now.
‘I find it selfish and rude unless they have a really genuine excuse, although I think a lot of the time it’s because they can’t be bothered to go out!
‘I had two very good friends cancel the day before my bachelorette party… I was very disappointed. It makes you feel trash. I’d be tempted to cancel now and spend a weekend away x.’
A fourth added: “How rude.” Unfortunately it has become quite common for some. I would definitely send out a bunch of last minute invites depending on whether you decided to celebrate last minute. People will say yes or no, nothing is lost.”
Another said: ‘I used to work in hospitality, it happens a lot and I think it’s worse since COVID.’ The general rule is to attend 20% less than what you intend to invite. I would invite a few more and move on at this point. “You will feel alone with those who made the effort.”
Many suggested that women should try to fill the gaps with other people, however, she worried that it would look bad, as if they were just “fillers.”
People quickly flocked to the comments to sympathize with the woman, with many saying people have become “woefully unstable” and “untrustworthy” lately.
She said: ‘Yes, I was wondering if he would invite others, but it seems obvious that they would be fillers now?’ It’s so last minute.’
After numerous people asked her what her friends’ excuses were, she revealed: “Work/travel stress x2, I have to go to the passport office (!), the baby isn’t sleeping (can’t one of them come?) ), husband has broken arm, I need to stay home, I forgot and can’t find a babysitter (you had a printed invitation 4 weeks ago), Pregnant and feeling tired.
‘So I’m not sure I can complain. But still. You answered “yes.” It feels like a punch in the stomach. I don’t want to remember my big birthday as the day I had to cancel because it obviously wasn’t that important to people.’
Others revealed that they had had the same experience when planning parties or weddings and said they no longer organize celebrations.
One person said: ‘This happened to us except we had 35 people which was reduced to 20! I had also rented a room.
‘Anyway we had a great time and our closest friends made it. I was bothered by the expense, since, as you say, I had to pay a minimum according to the original figures.
Another added: ‘I used to love a Christmas and DH party and put a lot of effort into it but after last Christmas I won’t do it again.
Others revealed that they have had the same experience when planning parties or weddings and said they no longer organize celebrations.
‘We had organized for about 10 couples to come to our house on the central Saturday of December, we had organized it through a WhatsApp survey well in advance, so it was definitely an appointment that we could all attend. Everything’s fine. Then, the week before, the ‘I’m sorry but…’ messages started coming in.
‘In the end I suggested that the 7 of us who were still available go out to the pub and have dinner (I managed to get the venue to accommodate us).
‘That caused two others to drop out because they wanted a house party and didn’t want to pay for food. It was still a nice evening, but I won’t put myself in that situation again.
‘When you’re a host, you can’t fall apart. I usually find that eccentric people rarely offer to host. They like having the option of having a better deal or “seeing if they feel like it that day.”
Another said: ‘I had the same thing when I turned 40. I sent out invitations and then, a few days before the party, I reconfirmed with everyone because the catering was per head.
‘I made it clear that I needed to confirm the number of meals, so I thought that people who RSVP would surely attend. No. A lot of dropouts. There are no apologies from some, and really lame excuses from others. It really made me reconsider who my friends were. Very sorry.’