A woman who separated from her husband of 20 years has revealed that her friend now wants a romantic relationship with him.
But turn to the British platform for parents MomsnetThe mother of two explained that she and her ex, who decided to split in January, still love each other “a lot” and have even slept together several times since the breakup.
Asking online users for advice on how to deal with him seeing a mutual friend who they’ve “both known for years,” she admitted the situation was “distressing” for her, especially since the blossoming romance is happening at her family home and she is “taking care of him” after a sports injury.
Commenters chimed in to criticize the man for “showing his true colors,” but also said she was being “a pushover” and being taken for “a fool.”
“AIBU is upset because a friend has fallen in love with my husband,” the post said.
A woman revealed on Mumsnet that her friend is in a romantic relationship with her husband of 20 years, from whom she recently separated (file image)
‘Recently separated after 20 years of relationship (most married, 2 AD). Since we decided to separate in mid-January, we were still living under the same roof with our children and reflecting on what to do.
“There was still a lot of love for each other, respect and, confusingly, we still had sex a few times, most recently a few weeks ago.”
The woman explained that her children did not find out about the breakup until a few weeks ago and that she did not start moving out of the family home until earlier this month.
She continued: ‘It was agreed that our children would stay with me every two weeks, at the moment I am between two houses and I also look after DH as he is incapacitated at the moment due to an injury (which he picked up while playing sports with the woman which I’m about to mention!!)
‘DH started going out with a friend for walks in early January and they had previously done things together too, but it quickly progressed to being very frequent (not a close friend of mine by any means, but someone we’ve both known for a few years ). years, father in the same school as our DC).
“Today I found out that she has indicated that she wants a romantic relationship with my designated hitter and has been at my house when I was away.”
She revealed that she found the idea of having someone else in her “beloved home” extremely distressing, as she hasn’t even completely moved in yet, and it made her feel uncomfortable that the woman was so quick to make a move during the “firsts.” stages of their relationship. separation’.
He added: “For context, the family home will still be mine after the finances are sorted out, but my designated hitter was very interested in staying on short-term for ‘stability for himself.’ I’m looking forward to him being able to move on and to find happiness.
On the British parenting platform, the mother of two explained that she and her husband still love each other “very much” and have even slept together several times since the breakup.
Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts, with some saying her husband is being “hugely disrespectful.”
“I think all my upset is directed at the woman who has approached him when I feel like there is so much unfinished business (i.e. my house/me largely supporting him while he is unable to cope) and he feels really awkward that she thought. It was okay to spend all that time with him when she supposedly didn’t even know about our separation since we only told people outside of our family a couple of weeks ago. Will AIBU find this so upsetting?
Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts, with some saying her husband is being “wildly disrespectful.”
“To be honest, I think this is really bad form on both of their parts,” one wrote.
“He’s taking you for an idiot and he’s clearly had his eye on this woman for some time.”
‘She is behaving inappropriately for a mother and should know that dating a man who has not yet been physically separated is something that cannot be done for the sake of the children she knows.
‘I would tell you that it is very disrespectful to you and your marriage and that you are no longer prepared to take care of it. I would also like him to go away.
Another said: ‘If you are separating, why do you care about him? And why are you between 2 houses? If he is dating someone else and you are staying in the house, let him move out! It is very confusing for children if they are small. You’re being a pushover!’
“Come back in immediately, collect your things and call him a taxi – it’s time for you to go,” added a third.
‘He’s using you. Making you play dumb. No more sex, taking care of it or facilitating it. He can go and get his ass wiped with the side brake.
Meanwhile, others were on the husband’s side, with some saying she has no right to dictate who he sleeps with while they are separated.
Another wrote: ‘He is showing his true colors and is possibly trying to hurt you. Stop helping him and more. Yes, the woman likes him but he has spent time with her. I think he is poor of her since he knows you. But he is the bigger problem and I would be more upset with him. It’s time to part properly.’
Meanwhile, others were on the husband’s side, with some saying she has no right to dictate who he sleeps with while they are separated.
One wrote: ‘You’re done with him. You have no right to care about who you spend time with or have sex with.
‘If you agreed to move out and let him stay, you also won’t be able to dictate who has or what he does in the house.
‘Having sex with him after you broke up was wrong and sent mixed messages. The same goes for helping him, even though he makes you feel better, he confuses things.
“I would seek legal advice before leaving home, I think he will stay much longer than expected.”
Another wrote: “I don’t think it’s fair of you to try to ruin your ex’s new relationship when you don’t want it.” Breaking up with him but sleeping with him and then saying (here) that you didn’t enjoy it/the heat of the moment but it hasn’t changed the breakup is cruel.
“What you need to work out with him are living and dating arrangements that won’t bother the kids.”
Someone else said: ‘You wanted to break up but have sex and help him.’ In reality, you have no say in how you choose to live now. What happens if she stays over once you’ve completely moved out? ‘She’s bound to move on… Are you sure you can let it go completely?’
