A woman has revealed that she is considering postponing her wedding due to her fiancé’s drinking problems.
Taking to the breeding platform momsnet, the anonymous poster explained that he will get married in six weeks. However, her husband-to-be ‘has a problem with alcohol’.
In her post, she described how he “pooped in his pants” and on his bed, and once “peed all over the bathroom floor” after a wild night.
Her post sparked an influx of comments from people sharing her advice, with many suggesting that she he should call off the wedding, as his behavior is unlikely to change.
The woman wrote: ‘My fiance is wonderful and a great partner. However, he has a problem with alcohol: when he goes out drinking, he doesn’t have an off button and this happens at least once a week.
A woman has revealed that she is considering postponing her wedding due to her fiancé’s excessive drinking (file image)
On the parenting platform Mumsnet, the anonymous woman explained that she will get married in six weeks, however, her husband “has a problem with alcohol.”
“He doesn’t drink at home and he doesn’t drink every day, but when he does, he might have 1 or 2 or 42 and nothing in between.
‘He won’t remember what happened on these weekly nights, on one occasion he peed the bed, tonight he went to our old house, I was outside looking for him At 1:30 am, the new owners asked for his ID and then walked him out to home.
“Now he pooped somehow in his pants, dumped it on the bed and on the bedroom floor and urinated all over the bathroom floor. I feel like this has gone too far. This is not the life I want. However, I adore him and we are getting married in 6 weeks.
‘I’m going to go to my parents for some space to take care of myself instead of dealing with him. But when he wakes up I thought it might be a bit cold if I was already gone, so I’m waiting, obviously unable to sleep and on the sofa to avoid the smell in the room.
‘I’m trying to think of what I should do: postpone the wedding or offer her an ultimatum to help her drink/stop drinking or be gone? Any advice? It’s such a sad situation. I feel so bad.’
Taking to the comments section to share his thoughts, one poster suggested that the man’s behavior will never change.
Many were quick to comment to give the woman advice and some suggested that she should call off the wedding as this will likely be her life forever.
They wrote: ‘Sorry OP, this will probably be your life forever if you marry this man. Even worse if you have children with him and expose them to this behavior. I would call off the wedding and get out while it’s still a relatively easy process.
‘I understand that you love him, the rest of the time, and it will be heartbreaking for you. But think of tonight as normal.
Another said: “I’d be calling off the wedding and I’m saying that as a moderator on an alcohol addiction forum for several years.”
You are considering marrying an addict and that is not something you want to do. The amount he’s drinking, up to blackout levels, is extremely dangerous and if he doesn’t stop, he’s going to die sooner rather than later and you don’t want to be there for that or the run-up. He is not your problem to fix.
While another wrote: ‘Do.Not.Marry.This.Man. I know it can feel ‘easy to do’ since you have everything booked/the dress/everyone has made plans.
“But if you do, you’ve lost the biggest incentive for him to realize he has a problem and seek help (ie marry you) and you’ll most likely end up married to an alcoholic for the long haul.
The original poster was later updated in relation to Mumsnet users, saying that she had gone to live with her parents and was making plans to call off the wedding.
“Personally, I would leave him a note saying that I won’t marry him until he has dealt with his excessive alcoholism, that I will be there for him if he decides to seek help and start the recovery process, but until then.” that you will stay with your parents.
While a fourth person said: ‘You have done the right thing. What do your parents say about the situation? Cut your losses, OP. If nothing else, you’re doing this because you love it.
You could very well be saving his life and saving yourself from a life of misery. You don’t deserve that. You are not its guardian.
The original updated poster later concerned Mumsnet users to reveal that she had moved in with her parents and was making plans to call off the wedding.
She wrote: ‘I’m with my parents. I sent him a message explaining that I need time to think and try to sleep.
“I don’t want to live my life like this and I’ve told him so many times, but tonight is the worst he’s got.” There’s also always the worry of how each night will end, parties, birthdays, our wedding, random Thursday nights.
“Just constant stress that her friends mostly think is harmless and fun, they don’t have to deal with this side.” I feel a little cruel because I love him so much.
In another message she wrote: ‘no children. I will have to start looking at the cost of canceling/postponing the wedding. I’m so embarrassed that I have to do that.
Many took advantage of the comments to share their own horror stories and to give women a glimpse of what the future might hold if she stays with her partner.
One person wrote: “Post read too soon: the ’embarrassment’ of calling off a wedding is nothing compared to the embarrassment it will cause you later on.”
‘My relative had to beg the court not to impound the car he was driving when he was caught driving drunk for the second time. That was embarrassing.
‘Having to explain to his son’s teacher that the boy was not himself due to his father’s drunken behavior – THAT was embarrassing
‘Neighbors had to help him home due to his condition – THAT was embarrassing
‘Reporting her missing to the police – THAT was embarrassing. I could go on, please get out of this fucking ‘relationship’, his only relationship is with alcohol’.
Many took to the comments to share their own horror stories and to give women a glimpse of what the future might hold if they stay with their partner.
Another said: ‘I’d be calling off the wedding. My aunt married such a man. She didn’t get better. 2 of my cousins were like your dp it didn’t get better. She got less often, but still 6-8 times a year.
Both their wives kicked them out once they had children and realized the impact it wasn’t having on the family.
‘And I would leave it to my parents right now. It’s not much of a cold to leave a house covered in excrement and shit. It’s cold to put yourself in that state and expect someone else to sit on the stink or clean it up themselves.
While someone else was saying, ‘Go away, OP. I was in a similar situation 8 years ago. I woke up in a wet bed on several occasions.
Totally disgusting. He also had serious money problems despite the fact that he earned well and much more than me. I would have to pay him all at the end of each month. After I dumped him, he admitted that he had a coke habit too and it all made sense. LTB.’