A mother has sparked a fierce debate after revealing that she continues to invite her son’s ex-girlfriend to family gatherings, even seeing her as a daughter.
The unnamed mother, believed to be from the US, shared her dilemma on Reddit forum ‘Am I the A******’.
In her post, the woman explained how her son, now 27, broke up with his high school sweetheart when they went off to college, but she is still a very important part of the family.
Now her son is married to someone else and his wife is not happy that her ex is still invited to the family event, but the mother stands firm, saying that she is like a daughter to her and that she has a difficult relationship with her own parents. .
Commenters were split, with some insisting it would be wrong to start excluding the ex, who is actually part of the family, while others sided with the daughter-in-law, saying they understand why she’s upset.
An unidentified mother from the US took to Reddit to explain her situation after being pressured to exclude her son’s ex from family gatherings (file image)
The mother explained that she sees her son’s ex as a daughter and that her husband will walk her down the aisle at her next wedding.
The mother explained: ‘She is in my eyes our daughter. Her family are horrible people and she sees us as her father figures.
Additionally, the woman also revealed that her husband will be walking Sabrina down the aisle at their upcoming wedding.
At the time of their breakup, the mother revealed that her son was “not happy” that his parents refused to “leave” Sabrina.
However, she made peace with it and did not resist when her parents continued to invite her ex to family gatherings.
That being said, the woman’s daughter-in-law recently confronted her about Sabrina always being around at key family moments.
Giving context to his relationship with his son’s wife, he explained: “We never clicked, we don’t have much in common and they live two hours away, so it’s hard to plan things to get to know her more.” I really am sure that she will grow with time.
The woman recently hosted a family picnic, describing how “Sabrina was there as normal.” I thought the night was nice.
But she said her daughter-in-law “came up to me at the end of the night and expressed that she’s uncomfortable with her ex-husband being everywhere and if I (could stop inviting her) to family things.”
In response, the mother-in-law told her that her son’s ex was part of the family and had been in their lives much longer than she had.
Several commenters said it would be unfair to dump his son’s ex, who is part of the family, just to avoid his new wife’s feelings.
She said her son has now called her a jerk for choosing her ex “over my now royal family.”
Asking other forum members to weigh in, the mother said her husband agreed her daughter-in-law is “crazy” but admitted they are being biased.
The post sparked a heated debate in the group, with some arguing that the daughter-in-law was wrong.
One replied: ‘Oh come on, the ex has been in the family fold for years by now. She’s engaged and her husband is walking her down the aisle. She hasn’t done anything wrong, and she shouldn’t be removed from her family (blood doesn’t always make family).
“The wife is being insecure, which happens, but OP is right that not inviting her to the family events she’s been going to for a long time would basically say I don’t think you’re my family anymore.”
Another said there’s nothing strange about the situation, writing: “I know some people who were semi-adopted by other families as kids, like the girl OP loves like a daughter.”
“That has an impact on people, especially when the original home situation was trash.”
Another added: ‘Some people are just vile. Just look at how many commenters here see it as appropriate and even expected to abandon a close and long-term family member for no reason, other than the relationship that brought them into the family ended through no fault of their own.
“People who can’t handle the existence of a friendly ex of their partner have to grow up mentally.”
The post sparked a heated debate in the group, with most arguing that the mother-in-law was wrong.
Seeing both sides of the argument, another added: ‘You think of Sabrina as your own daughter. She’s invited to things because you became her surrogate family.
“Bethany isn’t a geek for being upset about someone her husband once loved being invited to all her family events. I would also be upset if my husband’s ex was accepted into her family while I continue to struggle to feel part of the family.”
Meanwhile, a third wrote: “I agree with everything you said but… you should see Sabrina separated from your son and Bethany.”
However, others thought that the mother-in-law should apologize to the couple for her behavior.
One reviewer said: “She’s not your daughter, she’s your son’s ex and it’s so weird to keep inviting her to family events when your son has moved on and gotten married.”
‘It was so rude to be so dismissive and nasty to Bethany when she was trying to open up about how uncomfortable she was feeling. If you want to be friends with her ex then do it when you’re not around.’
Another responded: “You spent the last five years making sure your son knows you value this relationship with his ex more than his comfort and now you’re letting his wife know too.”
“I’m glad she sees them as father figures as they’re going to destroy her real relationship with her son over this.”