A woman has revealed her best friend stopped talking to her after advising her to “shave” to appear more attractive to men.
The 29-year-old took to an American forum Reddit to seek advice on how to rekindle friendship with her “amazing” friend “Emily”, 32, who she says refused to shave in “protest against the patriarchy”. She added that her friend stopped shaving years ago, leading to the growth of “very long black hairs” on her legs, armpits and “lady areas”.
A few days ago, while the two were chatting over a few beers, her best friend revealed how dating had made her “sad” and that men rarely asked for a second date.
To remedy the situation, the poster suggested that her friend “shave” her body hair, after which the friend accused her of being the reason why women are “suppressed.” Although she later apologized, she has since encountered a wall of silence.
The story influenced many, with some saying her advice was “correct” while others sided with her best friend. She explained: “My friend, let’s call her Emily, she’s an amazing person.
A woman who advised her friend to “shave” so she could finally have a boyfriend, says her friend stopped talking to her (Photo: Friends at War archive image)
“She is fun, adventurous, smart, super active, a fantastic cook, outgoing and a great girl to be around.
“A few years ago, she decided to stop shaving (legs, armpits, feminine areas) as a sign of protest against the patriarchy, which resulted in her having very long black hair everywhere.
“A few days ago we were having a beer and she told me how sad her love life was, that she still meets guys and goes on really fun dates, but she doesn’t never received a call back.
“Or when she tried to ask for a second or third date, she was rejected in a very generic way.”
The woman said she first tried to compliment her friend before “taking a risk” to offer controversial advice.
She continued: “Now, after repeatedly telling him ‘you are so gorgeous and wonderful, the right man will come, don’t worry’, I decided to take a risk.
“I said something like, ‘I know this is a very superficial thing to say, but do you think it might help a little if you shaved?’ “
“She was very surprised and told me she was disappointed that I was suggesting she change her appearance for men and that I was the reason so many women were being suppressed.
The 29-year-old took to US forum Reddit to seek advice on how to rekindle friendship with her “amazing” friend “Emily”, 32, who she says refused to shave in “protest against patriarchy”.
“I immediately apologized but the evening was pretty much ruined. I texted her the next day to apologize again for hurting her, but she didn’t respond.
The woman appeared genuinely saddened by the matter and said she never intended to intentionally “hurt” her friend.
However, she also sought advice on how to phrase her next apology, as she didn’t consider the comment “that bad.”
Nearly 7,000 comments poured in, with users eager to give their opinions on this sensitive subject.
One person said it was as much a woman’s “right” not to shave as it was a man’s right to find it “disgusting.” They explained: “She has the right not to shave, and the men she dates have the right to think it’s disgusting.” People are attracted to what attracts them. It’s just reality. If she wants a man who doesn’t mind not shaving, that will be a much smaller percentage of the male dating pool and will make it harder for her to find a partner.
“If she asked you for advice and you tried to help her, then you’re not an asshole. Especially because you’re probably right and hair is the reason men don’t stay. I think it’s stupid that she’s mad at you for just stating the obvious truth.
” Edited to add: After thinking about it more, I think yes, guys don’t like hair, but the fact that she has it is probably actually a symptom of her personality, outlook on life and of his general opinions, and these things are probably what turns these guys off even more.
They concluded: “And I will also add now (since some people assume things) that I am not saying that men are right to have this view of her, or that I agree with this view. I’m just pointing out that, based on my lifelong observations of men, a general/average aversion to this type of view (“I don’t shave to fight the patriarchy”) may be why some men don’t stay. You may not like it, but it’s the reality we live in. There are some guys who won’t feel that way, and this is the guy she would probably prefer.
Siding with the poster, one person said: “You just suggested the reason she might be having dating issues. You are probably also right.
“Of course, she is free to do what she wants with her body and they may not accommodate other people’s preferences, which means they may not want to date her. This may mean they are missing out on a great person for superficial reasons, but it’s a choice they are free to make.
Meanwhile, one woman explained that ‘leg and arm hair’ had not hindered her ‘romantic relationship’ and advised the poster to be more ‘supportive’: ‘I have hair on my legs and arms and I am in a romantic relationship. relationship with a man who holds me while he sleeps.
“If I had listened to you, I would have felt bad for someone who didn’t care one way or another. A more encouraging thing to say would have been, “you will find someone perfect for you, just keep working on yourself and the rest will fall into place.”
She definitely wasn’t asking for advice, she just wanted the emotional support of a friend. The world tries to pressure women into conforming to shaving, and I’m sure it hurts to hear a friend also try to do the same.