A bride-to-be revealed her plight after her best friend and bridesmaid refused to attend the hen party unless she could bring her three-month-old baby.
On parenting platform Mumsnet, the woman explained that her “oldest and closest friend” said she couldn’t go to the shower unless her baby could go too.
The woman, in her 20s, said she feels “strongly that a bachelorette party is no place for a boy,” but she also wants to have her friend at the party.
Asking for advice on the forum, she asked other mothers if a three-month-old baby was too young to go away with his father for a night.
the publication read: ‘We are in our twenties and I recently got engaged and have no children yet. My oldest and closest friend just told me she’s pregnant. She also moved to Dublin with her husband for work.
A bride-to-be revealed on Mumsnet that her bridesmaid asked her if she could bring her three-month-old baby to her hen party (file image)
‘She is co-MOH (maid of honor). The current plan is for the hen party to go out in the evening in Bristol, and I think my other MOH is also planning some sort of daytime activity. None of my other friends have children.
“Her son will be three months old when we get the hen and she has said she can’t come unless the baby can come too.” I feel strongly that a bachelorette party is no place for a girl, but I also desperately want her to be there since I rarely get to see her due to her moving abroad.
‘So I turn to moms! Is she too young to leave at three months old and (I’m not reasonable) tell her that her baby can’t come? I understand that that means she can’t come and I would respect that.’
People were quick to comment with their own thoughts, with some saying they understand why the new mother wouldn’t want to leave her baby at home.
One person said: “It’s not unreasonable not to leave a three-month-old baby, there’s not a chance in the world I’ll do it.” Breastfeeding alone would make this impossible.
‘You’re not being unreasonable by not having a baby at the bridal shower, it’s completely inappropriate.
‘The only option is for her not to come and do something separate to celebrate. Don’t make her feel bad about it and don’t let her make you feel bad either.’
Another said: “She can’t bring a baby to a hen party BUT it’s also too early to expect her to leave the baby for a weekend.” Unfortunately she can’t come.”
On the parenting platform, the woman explained that her “oldest and closest friend” said she couldn’t go to the bridal shower unless her baby could go too.
People were quick to comment with their own thoughts, with some saying they understand why the new mother wouldn’t want to leave her baby at home.
Someone else said: ‘(You’re not being unreasonable) – but you also have to accept that it means she won’t come. Very few new mothers would happily leave such a small baby behind to go on a bridal shower.
The woman later added: ‘Thank you! The problem is that she lives in another country so she would have to travel and she feels it’s too early to leave her baby overnight, which I totally understand, so she’s asking if we can have a baby friendly activity during the day.
‘I’m reluctant because everything would focus on the new baby (understandably) and while I don’t want to be narcissistic, I put a LOT of effort into her bridal shower and I also want to make sure it’s fun for everyone else. The effort to come!’
Many thought it was “strange” that her friend asked her to bring a baby to the hen and include “a baby-friendly activity.”
One person said: ‘No, that’s not quite suitable for carrying a baby to a chicken. It will completely change the dynamic, you will not be able to have normal conversations, all attention will be on the baby.
The woman later added: ‘Thank you! The problem is that she lives in another country so she would have to travel and she feels it is too soon to leave her baby overnight.’
Many thought it was ‘weird’ that their friend asked to take a baby to the hen and include ‘a baby-friendly activity’
‘Limit places to quiet places suitable for baby strollers. I think it’s very strange of them to even ask to bring a baby. Just tell him no, you all want to relax and let your hair down.
‘And yes, as others have said, the husband should have the baby to let her go to rest!’
Another said: “If it’s a hen weekend I highly doubt people will want to do something baby friendly or spend more money on it just for her.” The nerve of her to even suggest that. It would be a no from me.
Someone else added: “To be honest, also if I knew someone’s baby was having a chicken I wouldn’t go.”
‘As a mother, I would like a break and a child-free environment. I would have felt strongly the same before children too. Be prepared for other hens to reject…’
A fourth said: “No chance.” I had something similar with a very close friend. It’s complicated and understandable, but sometimes when women get pregnant, they feel like the universe centers around them and their baby. In his world he does, which is understandable.
‘I’ve been in a VERY similar situation, but it’s too funny to put it here. But no, you’re allowed to have a drunken night out at your bachelorette party, and that doesn’t include having to coo over a three-month-old baby. Maybe have afternoon tea for moms with kids etc.