A woman was left humiliated when her best friend, the bride, lost her temper with the four-year-old son of one of the guests after he made a mess of the wedding cake on her big day.
Instead of trying to make amends, the 29-year-old felt her longtime friend, 28, should first apologize for “yelling” at her in front of her son, husband and other wedding guests.
The woman, OP for short, decided to take to Reddit’s infamous r/AmItheA**hole forum to gauge whether this was a reasonable expectation, captioning the post: “Am I an idiot for not apologizing to my friend after she yelled at me and my son at her wedding?”
She went on to offer the “important context” that her friend “spoke to me during her wedding planning about her insecurity about whether or not to allow children in her wedding.”
A woman was left humiliated when her best friend, the bride, lost her temper with the four-year-old son of one of the guests after he made a mess of the wedding cake on her big day.
The bride was left furious after the woman’s son was caught red-handed digging into the wedding cake, but the woman felt the bride should be the first to apologise (file image)
The bride also has two sisters with children of roughly the same ages as OP’s son, whom, OP added, the bride practically views as her own nephew as well.
“But she wanted to be able to relax and enjoy her wedding without worrying about the kids ruining everything,” the post continued.
‘I gave him my opinion and told him that my husband and I allowed children to be at our wedding and that we wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.
‘The children were still family and deserved to be included.
“After that, and speaking with her sisters, she and her husband gave the go-ahead to have kids at the wedding,” OP described the decision-making process for allowing children at the wedding.
“The ceremony was perfect. My best friend’s nieces sat with me, my husband and son, while her sisters were in the bridal party. I brought along calm activities to keep them entertained and everyone behaved. I even cried because it was so beautiful,” she described.
At the reception, the bride’s nieces returned to their parents, while the woman and her husband looked after their own son.
‘Dinner went well and then the couple hit the dance floor for their first dance.
After thousands of comments, the broad consensus was that the woman was the a**hole, with Redditors declaring YTA, short for ‘You’re The A**hole.’
‘Afterwards, everyone was invited out onto the dance floor for a bit of a dance before the cake was cut.
“At the time, the kids were running around and playing with each other and it was a pretty safe space and I knew almost everyone there, so I felt comfortable with my son playing with the other kids while my husband and I had fun dancing,” the woman continued.
Her husband was the designated driver, so the woman let off steam with a couple of glasses of wine, as did the bride.
In the midst of the confusion of the celebration, the couple apparently lost track of their son for a moment.
The bride and her groom then approached the cake, while OP and her husband had a crowd blocking their view as they approached.
“Suddenly, I hear my best friend shouting her son’s name. My husband and I walk over to see what’s going on.
“I see my son with frosting on his mouth and fingers. The cake was missing a small piece.
‘I try to apologize, but my best friend turns around and yells, “This is YOUR FAULT. Your son RUINED my cake. He’s only here because YOU told me it would be worth it to include the kids!”
‘I shouted at him that it had just been an accident and that the rest of the cake was still edible. That he was shouting for his nephew.
“He told me in front of everyone that I was not his friend and that he was not his nephew. He told me to leave or he would call security,” the woman continued.
By then both the woman and her son were crying and she, her husband and son left the wedding.
The woman then listened to one of the bride’s sisters, who apologized on behalf of the bride, but insisted that the guest also “should apologize” to the bride.
“I don’t think I have any more apologies after his outburst. I told his sister and told her I expected an apology before I said anything to him.
“Not only did he get angry at me in front of everyone, but at my son as well. I feel humiliated, but even more angry on his behalf. So what’s wrong with him if I refuse to apologize first?” she concluded.
Reddit was quick to reach a consensus that the woman was wrong and dubbed her YTA (short for You’re The A**hole).
The post racked up thousands of comments, some of which excellently and succinctly summed up the broader sentiments expressed in the comments.
As one irate commented: “YTA. Your child is very young and needs supervision. No matter how safe the place is, there are many things that are NOT safe (like the cake, cups, etc.) in the place.
‘Not only should you apologize, you should have apologized at the time instead of reacting with, “The rest of the cake is still edible (because it’s gross. I doubt your kid has washed his hands in a while)” and “It was an accident.”
“It wasn’t an accident. Your son is little, so it wasn’t malicious, but it certainly wasn’t an accident. You also have to pay at least part of the cost of the cake, because that layer was not edible.”
A second echoed: “YTA. Your son taking a big bite out of the wedding cake was not an accident. He did it because he wanted some cake and didn’t want to wait. He’s four but you could have told him not to touch the cake. This would have been avoided if you had supervised him properly.”
“You need to apologize to your friend for being so negligent to the point that your son ruined the wedding cake. Parents like you who let their children get out of control and then fail to take responsibility are the reason why so many people don’t want their children to attend events like this.”
A third chided her: “YTA. She allowed there to be kids based on your assurance that it would be okay to have kids at the wedding. It’s especially outrageous that the only person who said kids deserved to be included is the person whose kid screwed up her wedding celebration.”
“It’s a big deal. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event. Let’s hope she doesn’t get married a second time. You’re a jerk for not taking care of your kids after yammering on about how they should have kids at the wedding. And you’re doubly a jerk for not apologizing.”
Another chimed in: “YTA to the extreme, and I’m sure you know it. Not because you were advocating having kids at the wedding, but because you didn’t even have the slightest idea what your son was doing.
“Your son ruined the cake. Your response got you double TA, and then refusing to apologize got you triple TA. I’m so sorry your son has such an irresponsible father and bad role model like you.”
And as a fifth said: ‘YTA – You and your husband did not raise your child. This was not an accident, it was negligence/incompetence on your part. You are the reason people want childless weddings. Don’t get me wrong, your friend is trash too, but this was totally avoidable thanks to your husband and you.’
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