A mother of three children whose first child was tragically stillborn after 38 weeks, has written a moving book to help parents explain children where their loved ones die after death.
Sam Kitson, 40, from Melton Mowbray, Leicestershire, & # 39; was completely destroyed & # 39; left behind after she discovered that her unborn daughter Kitty Rose was no longer in her womb.
Three days later, on July 30, 2009, Kitty was born after an & # 39; unexpectedly beautiful & # 39; eight-hour work.
& # 39; The silence was deafening, & # 39; Sam said to FEMAIL. & # 39; Even the midwife was in tears. & # 39;
Sam Kitson, 40, from Melton Mowbray, Leicestershire, & # 39; was completely destroyed & # 39; left behind after she discovered that her unborn daughter Kitty Rose was no longer in her womb. Pictured with her husband Woody and children Martha and Amos
But while the children's art and yoga teacher learned to live with her grief, her second daughter Martha, eight and son Amos, six, often asked where their big sister – whom they had never met – had disappeared.
Sam was inspired to write In The Stars, telling the story of Martha and Amos as they look for their lost sister and discover that she is everywhere in the world.
Now published by SANDS, the stillborn and neonatal charity, the book helps parents across the country talk to their children in a natural and gentle way about that biggest taboo – death -.
& # 39; When your small children look up to you and ask you where their sister is going and if you are going to die, what do you think? & # 39; asked Sam.
Sam noted that her unborn daughter Kitty Rose did not move after 3 weeks. Tragically, her heart had stopped beating in her womb
& # 39; It is not a conversation that a parent wants. But unfortunately some of us have no choice. & # 39;
Ten years ago, Sam and her partner Woody, now 43, a web developer, were about to make a 12-month trip to New Zealand when they became pregnant.
They acted easily in their traveling dream, lovingly turned the office of their cozy little house into a children's room complete with yellow gingham curtains and Hello Kitty artwork on the walls.
& # 39; When we found out we had a girl, Woody suggested the name Kitty. I said, "We can't call her Kitty Kitson!" But we actually fell in love with it, & Sam recalled.
A textbook pregnancy followed until after 38 weeks, Sam woke up in a panic one morning at 5 o'clock in the morning, not sure when she last felt Kitty was moving.
Kitty was born on July 30, 2009 after an & # 39; unexpectedly beautiful & # 39; eight-hour work
& # 39; I have tried everything that would normally make her active – drinking, eating, playing Woody guitar. But my bump was silent, & she explained.
At the Queen & # 39; s Medical Center in Nottingham the couple was told that no heartbeat could be detected.
Sam said: & # 39; I remember coming home and sitting on our garden bench in the blazing sun.
& # 39; While I rocked my huge bump, Woody stood next to me, with a leaflet with the text & # 39; What to do if your baby dies & # 39;. & # 39;
The grieving couple spent a precious night with their daughter after she was still born.
Sam said she didn't have & # 39; sad & # 39; mummy wanted to be for Martha and Amos, but she and Woody wanted to keep Kitty & # 39; s memory alive
& # 39; We are lying on the bed with our little girl in between us. I tried to stay awake all night and not want to miss a moment with Kitty, & Sam recalled.
& # 39; Her skin was fragile as a tissue, her lips ruby red. She looked like she was sleeping. But she would never open her eyes. I will never even know what color they were, & she added.
Instead of dirty diapers and sleepless nights, Sam and Woody had to deal with post-mortem reports and plan a funeral.
Cruel, her body did not know Kitty was gone and three days after the birth, Sam & # 39; s milk came in.
& # 39; It was terrible. I was a mother without a baby, & she said.
Sam was in bed one evening in 2015 when a poem began to take shape in her mind. She got up and wrote In The Stars – the story of Martha and Amos who discovered that their lost sister Kitty was all around them – in two hours
After an extremely difficult few months, the two were delighted – and terrified – to become pregnant again.
Because the postmortem did not discover the cause of Kitty & # 39; s death, the next nine months were ridiculous – but Martha arrived safely in September 2010 and looked exactly like her older sister.
Sam and Woody married in July 2011 and their son Amos followed in April 2012.
& # 39; I wanted to keep Kitty & # 39; s memory alive. We talked about her, visited her grave, and on the day of her death – always her birthday to me – we had a family BBQ, & Sam explained.
& # 39; But I didn't want & # 39; are sad & # 39; mummy for Martha and Amos. I kept my favorite photo of Kitty – of Woody lying next to her on our hospital bed – in my office, my private room, to see when I wanted. & # 39;
The grieving couple spent a precious night with their daughter Kitty after she was still born
Martha and Amos inevitably started asking where their big sister had gone and Sam struggled to answer their questions.
& # 39; Children are so obvious. One minute they asked why Kitty died and where had she gone. The next time they wanted to know what was going to eat, & she said.
& # 39; At other times Martha would be angry and say "I miss Kitty". It broke my heart. She missed someone she never knew. I didn't know how to reassure her. & # 39;
Sam was in bed one evening in 2015 when a poem began to take shape in her mind.
& # 39; I picked up a pen and two hours later In the Stars was completed & # 39 ;, she said.
& # 39; It is the story of Minnie and Moss – my nicknames for Martha and Amos – and discovered that their lost sister Kitty was all around them. In the stars, the grass and the flowers and our hearts, forever.
In The Stars went out in February and you can buy it for £ 8.99 at the SANDS bookstore
& # 39; I started to wonder if it could help other families to open a discussion with their children about loss more naturally. & # 39;
Sam & # 39; s best friend and talented artist, Katie Faithfull, drew a few illustrations to bring her words to life and SANDS, whom Sam sought help with when she lost Kitty, wanted to publish it immediately.
& # 39; They were struck by the fact that the first line contains the word & # 39; die & # 39; They had not come across any other children's books that embraced this & # 39; taboo & # 39; word and felt that it was a positive move, & # 39; said Sam.
& # 39; The book came on sale in February and we are inundated with reports that In The Stars helped to comfort families during the worst times.
& # 39; I would love to be at every school, library, and hospice. Kitty has never had the chance to live her life, but she has inspired this book that will help other children to continue theirs. & # 39;
You can buy In The Stars for £ 8.99 at the SANDS bookstore here.
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