Mother of three admits that she has the feeling that she has ‘lost herself’ and ‘wasted her education’
A mother of three has written an emotional message about how a dedicated parent has given her children the feeling that she has “lost herself” and “wasted her education.”
Kate Swenson, 36, from Minnesota, has written about motherhood on her blog Find Cooper’s Voice since her eldest son, Cooper, was diagnosed with serious, non-verbal autism.
The working mother, who also has sons Sawyers and Harbor, came along Facebook on February 3 to reveal how all the sacrifices she made as a parent have turned her into a shadow of her former self.
Honest: Kate Swenson, 36, from Minnesota went to Facebook earlier this month to tell what it’s like to be a mother to three sons, making her feel like a shadow of her previous self
Spontaneous image: Kate shared a picture of herself, bent on a stool, trying to suck two of her sons as part of her long post
As part of her job, she shared one black-and-white photo of herself bent on a stool while she tries to train her two youngest boys in a potty way.
“I have a serious case of loss of identity. Or maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Or a little post-partum depression. Or maybe I’m just tired, overweight and mentally empty. Who knows which, “she wrote.
‘I have three boys, a man, a house and a job that I love. I am more blessed. I have dedicated my life to the people in my life. “
Kate emphasized that on most days she usually likes to take care of her family, but she doesn’t always feel that.
“I feel like I’ve lost myself along the way,” she admitted. ‘I look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself anymore. And when I’m approaching middle age, that’s really scary.
“It’s not that I have to look old. It is that I look like someone I don’t even recognize. I look tired. I look like I let myself go. I look angry. I look really rushed. “
Share her story: Kate writes about motherhood on her blog Finding Cooper’s Voice since her oldest son was diagnosed with severe, non-verbal autism
Confession: the working mother admitted that a dedicated parent has given her children the feeling that she has “lost herself” and “wasted her education”
Kate said that she is always in a hurry to shower, eat, pick up or drop off her children and eat on the table.
She noted that she has always been the one who ‘can handle everything’ and is ‘typically unbeatable’, but lately she feels ‘almost empty’.
‘When I am with my children, I feel guilty because I don’t work and when I work, I feel guilty because I no longer play with my children. It is sometimes a loss, “she explained.
‘I feel like I wasted my education. I feel like a housekeeper, a cook, a [chauffeur]and a loop leader. I have the feeling that I always have sick children and that I can’t finish the laundry or squeeze my ass into my thick jeans.
“I know that I am a good mother. I don’t doubt myself in that department, “she added. “But I also feel that sometimes I’m just a mother.”
The mother said she is upset by small things. She has even been jealous of her husband, Jamie, who went to the toilet alone.
Always on the road: Kate, who is also the mother of the sons Sawyer and Harbor, explained that she is always in a hurry to shower, eat, pick up or drop off her children and get dinner on the table
Difficult: the mother said she is upset by small things, admitted that she has even become jealous of her husband, Jamie, going to the bathroom alone
Losing herself: Kate said she is “too tired to give” about how she looks, something she used to be very proud of
She noted that they had recently pulled the straws to determine who would go upstairs and change the sheets after one of their sons had wet his bed.
“I didn’t know that I could also consider a shower as a luxury. Or don’t have time to do it. It drives me crazy, “she went on. “I am a very capable woman and I cannot find time to take a shower. I smile as I type. ”
Kate said she is “too tired to care” about what she looks like, something she used to be very proud of.
“I always cared about what I looked like. Like really care. I ate well. I practiced. I have showered. I put on makeup. I peek at hashtags on Instagram such as “summer outfits” and pin nice outfits. Now I wear hoodies. Dirty one. Gray T-shirts. I take my clothes off the floor every morning. “
She emphasized that she knows “there are so many more important things to do than look cute,” and she is happy to focus on sleep, her children, and work.
“But then I see myself and feel sad. I feel like I’ve lost myself. Almost completely, “she explained. ‘I do not have any hobby’s. I don’t have time to do anything. I only take care of children. In front of my house. I keep the ship going.
Plan: She admitted that she doesn’t know how to “fix this funk,” but she’s working on it because she doesn’t want to miss or blame this time in her sons’ lives
Support system: Kate’s candid message has been shared more than 5,000 times and has received thousands of responses
‘I watch TV programs in 15-minute steps. I stare at my phone for entertainment. I reply to text messages three days late. I am non-stop and bored at the same time. It is a bizarre way to feel yourself. “
Kate said she doesn’t know how to “fix this funk,” but she’s working on it because she doesn’t want to miss or blame this time in her sons’ lives.
“I don’t want to be angry,” she said. ‘What I have learned is that there are so many of me. And I have to find balance.
“This year I will find balance in motherhood, marriage, my job, my home and my mental health. That is my goal. Also learn to laugh more and give myself more grace. “
Kate’s candid message has been shared more than 5000 times and has received thousands of responses.
“Oh Kate, when I read this, my heart hurts for you. I have no advice to “fix it,” but I can tell you that you’ll find out, “wrote a woman. “You are stronger than you know. We as mothers have all been in this season and you will find your way out. I send you many hugs and prayers. ”
“I’m in a dark, dark place today. So much is shouted. I’m so tired. I just want that today to be over. I urgently need a timeout. I urgently need a minute without anyone demanding anything from me, “another added. ‘I see you. I hear you. Sorry. The power be with you. ”
READ KATE’S FACEBOOK POST