Michelle Obama revealed that she and husband Barack Obama are attending marriage therapy to go through “difficult times” shortly after their two daughters were born and admits that starting a family can be difficult.
On Saturday, the former First Lady had an honest conversation with Oprah Winfrey as part of the 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus Tour with WW in the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York.
For a crowd of 15,000 people, 56-year-old Obama opened the ups and downs of her marriage to the 44th President of America.
“Sometimes you need an objective person to just hear you,” Obama began.
“It taught me that I was responsible for my own happiness. I didn’t marry Barack to make him happy. Nobody can make me happy.
Michelle Obama (left) talked about the difficult times in her marriage to Barack Obama with Oprah Winfrey (right) at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York
“If I appear in this partnership right away, I have to be able to make myself happy, so I had to stop concentrating on what he wasn’t doing and I started thinking about how I could carve the life I wanted for myself, with or without Barack.
“The more I managed to define myself for myself, the better I was in my partnership.”
“And you call [Barack] your soul affirming partner? “Oprah asked.
‘Is it now more in 28 years than before. Is it getting better? Or is it more seasoned? ”
Obama said: “That’s it all. And this is what I keep trying to tell young people. Marriage is difficult and raising a family together is a difficult business. It costs a toll. ”
Michelle revealed that she and Barack Obama (photo) attended counseling during the marriage after their two daughters were born
Obama: “If I appear in this partnership right away, I have to be able to make myself happy, so I had to stop focusing on what he wasn’t doing and I started to think about how I could live the life that I wanted for myself, with or without Barack ‘
She admitted that despite all the differences of opinion that the couple shared, friendship was always the core of their relationship.
“We are returning to that point where we meet again because some of the most difficult times in our lives we have just escaped, we survived,” she said.
‘We have had a rough time, we have done some hard things together. But now we are on the other side and I can look at him and I still recognize my husband. He is still the man I fell in love with, “she continued.
Obama (left) said she tells young people that “marriage is difficult and having a family together is difficult.” It costs a toll ‘
Obama has never returned to talk about her and Barack’s relationship is struggling, after raising the issue in her 2018 memoir, Becoming and in interviews.
In an interview on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Obama admitted that she insisted on couples therapy because she wanted to “fix” Barack.
“I was one of those women who thought,” I’m taking you to marriage therapy so you can get fixed, Barack Obama. ” Because I thought, “I’m perfect.” I was like, “Dr. X, please fix it,” she said, and asked the audience to smile.
“And then our counselor looked at me. I was like: “What are you looking at? I’m perfect”. “
Obama added, “But marriage therapy was a turning point for me because I understood that it wasn’t up to my husband to make me happy, that I had to learn how to fill myself up and how to put myself higher on my priority list. “
The Obama’s will celebrate their 28th wedding anniversary on October 3 after a meeting at a law firm in Chicago, Illinois.
Obama also shared her feelings about having an empty mess because her two daughters, Malia and Sasha, are both in college.
Malia, 21, is currently a junior at Harvard University and Sasha, 18, started in the fall of 2019 at the University of Michigan.
Obama (far left) said that she and Barack (right) have more “emotional energy” now that their two daughters, Sasha (left) and Malia (far right) are away from college
“Parenting takes a lot of emotional space … I put a lot of time and energy into educating these girls, but right now we’re trying to make their lives normal – so that means the weekend was difficult,” Obama said.
“We had to worry about what parties they went to, if there was alcohol, I had to know who the parents were, so every weekend was hard for me. And they are gone, thank goodness, “she joked.
Obama said she now has the energy to focus on her next path in life and finding out “the next chapter.”
“We have more emotional time, emotional energy,” she said about herself and Barack.
“It’s just me and he and [the family dogs] Bo and Sunny and dinner. And they don’t talk, the dogs. ”
So far, Obama has made the most of her new time and energy and achieved several successes.
Obama’s memoir Becoming has sold more than 10 million copies and earned her a Grammy in January
In January, Obama won her first Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word album for her best-selling book Becoming.
Is sold more than 1 million copies in the first week and had sold more than 10 million in March 2019.
Obama is the second First Lady to win a Grammy, after Hillary Clinton’s 1997 award for It Takes a Village.
Barack has won two Grammy prizes in the same category. Once in 2006 for the short reading of his memoirs, Dreams from My Father, and in 2008 for The Audacity of Hope.
Last year, Obama was named as one of People’s ‘People of the Year’.
In December 2019, the Obama’s settled in a new million-dollar mansion in Martha’s Vineyard.
It was recently announced that Viola Davis Obama would play in the new Showtime series, First Ladies.